beaniesteve - maybe i am slightly annoyed because i know what she's saying is what i feel everyone else thinks i should be doing....and that's something which i feel insecure about at the moment, and i especially don't need my counsellor of all people reaffirming it...if you know what i mean.
i can just about handle my friends/family asking me the 'what are you going to do with your life?' question all the time - although it really stresses me out...but i think going to therapy should be a sanctuary where you're not judged or questioned - you can just talk about your feelings.
the thing was, i did art and design (specialising in photography and film) at college and i said to her that i loved doing it but i don't necessarily want to do it as a career because i don't know if i want to be involved in the whole commercial industry - plus i don't want to live in london (nevermind i couldn't afford to!)
i said i didn't want to spend 3 years of my life and tens of thousands of pounds on a BA Hons degree at uni in a specific subject like film or photography - without knowing for damn sure that i want to dedicate my life to that career path.
and then a few sessions later (after i explained the plot of a short film i had made to her) she said she thought i sounded very talented and that i should do a 3 or 4 year degree to 'play around creatively' and when i said i was thinking about doing a few short courses (2months long or whatever) in 'art direction for film' 'fashion photography' and 'interior design' (also really interested in doing that as a career)
At some of the big art schools in london (central saint martins, lcf etc) to get a feel for a) london b) the industry c) the subjects i am interested and most importantly get some contacts and some work experience so i can see whether i would really enjoy working in the industry or not.
because in the fashion/film industry it's definately a case of WHO you know, and you don't need a degree to network and get experience in london, you just need to promote yourself and get your work seen and meet the right people.
ANYWAY, i digress.....basically she told me she thinks i should do something which is a total contradiction to what i said i would like to do....when i said i wanted to do a few different courses that were only weeks or months long she scrunched up her face into a 'really??, no...' face - know what i mean?
she's not my bloody careers advisor she's my therapist lol
im annoyed that im feeling pressuresand judgements from her that i feel in other parts of my life...and i don't think i should be, considering she's a counsellor and they are in no way supposed to give advice.
thanks lcy - i will say something or next time she says something like that i'll say - no i don't think that's correct.