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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A better life in Norfolk... really?

390 replies

LittleRobin112 · 14/11/2022 11:53

We have so many family members who have moved to Norfolk in the last 10 years and a few friends too. They have mostly gone there for a better way of life. Away from the hustle and bustle of the south east where we are.

We're constantly being told how amazing Norfolk is - the countryside, the villages, the coast, Norwich, etc. And some family members are very keen to tell us how crap it is where we live in comparison, knowing that we are settled where we are and wouldn't want to move. Nowhere is perfect (about from Norfolk apparently) but we like where we are. These family members have moved from where we live which although busy and a London commuter area, it's also fairly affluent in parts, a coastal place and with countryside/woodland still accessible nearby.

What is the attraction to Norfolk? Is it the most ideal place to live? Are people happier there? Are there no down sides to it at all?

I don't doubt some aspects of life quality could be better in Norfolk but I've been on holidays there and many family visits over the years and I can't see how it's as incredible as some family members are making out. Maybe they're just showing off or justifying their reasons for moving there? But to be really negative about where we live is just becoming annoying. It's almost like they're now better than us for living in Norfolk, it's so odd.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
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6
MrDirtyBear · 24/01/2024 18:15

Feel free to be cogent at any point.

TwinsAndTiramisu · 24/01/2024 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I really feel this, as a parent.

My eldest has grown up here and the understatement of the century is that it's done him no favours. I grew up here, and it's been the suffocating for me, my one regret is not leaving this hole sooner, but family ties keep us here. I've just got used to it - which in itself is an awful thing to say. Not to say I'm immune, but I've almost become numb to it.

I will be ensuring that when all my children go to uni/leave the nest, it's somewhere much more open minded, multicultural, strong opportunities, yes probably more crime, but that's preferable to being trapped somewhere like this. I will do everything to help them spread their wings away from this.

I spent my twenties around London, and abroad, with well travelled, well educated, witty, ambitious, truly successful, broad minded people. The difference is polar. My biggest mistake, at a crossroads in my life was settling back here. It's not going to be what happens for my children though, not if I can help it at all.

mammabing · 24/01/2024 18:57

Am I the only one who thought the ‘sock puppet’ comments were just a reference to the infamous puppet man? 😂

TwinsAndTiramisu · 24/01/2024 19:31

mammabing · 24/01/2024 18:57

Am I the only one who thought the ‘sock puppet’ comments were just a reference to the infamous puppet man? 😂

😂

Is he still there?

Cyclebabble · 24/01/2024 20:30

To say again. I am Asian, have lived in Norfolk for many years in a rural village. In my view Norfolk as a whole is less racist than many other areas in the UK. I also know this is the view of other people of colour who live here.

Pearldiamond8 · 24/01/2024 22:58

So your saying I should not re locate to Norfolk then ever

Pearldiamond8 · 25/01/2024 06:52

Thankyou for sharing your views, some really harsh comments being said about Norfolks racism which I for one have not noticed when visiting

PPTorPDF · 25/01/2024 08:25

Cyclebabble · 24/01/2024 20:30

To say again. I am Asian, have lived in Norfolk for many years in a rural village. In my view Norfolk as a whole is less racist than many other areas in the UK. I also know this is the view of other people of colour who live here.

I live in Norfolk and have a lot of Sri Lankan friends over here and they have all said that they've not experienced racism here at all. They've experienced it in other parts of the UK but not here in Norfolk. I've shown them some of the comments on this thread and they're shocked.

Labbingtons · 25/01/2024 09:29

Having grown up in Norwich, and with family, living more rurally in Norfolk, I would say that the experience of moving into the county and of growing up here, depends immensely on where you choose to live, and the people you mix with.

This is absolutely no different to, for example, living in London. When we were living in a prosperous bubble of East London, oh, oat, milk, cappuccinos, and Fruigi baby wear, it would’ve been very easy for me to choose to believe that East London is a tolerant haven of coexistence, and ignore the clutch of British nationalist party counsellors elected in Barking or the Isis flag raised in Bromley by Bow High Street, just down the road. I suppose the difference is when you’re living in the village or small town, you are much more likely to get to know or at least rub shoulders with people whose views who find disagreeable.

I loved growing up in Norwich. I enjoyed brilliant, cultural experiences, such as the county youth orchestras, art house cinemas, galleries and drama groups. As well as joining friends at regattas beach, houses and riding. I made fantastic friends from diverse backgrounds (my best friend is half Japanese, another is Nigerian by he heritage) and as we got told, we had a fantastic social life and looking back it was pretty idyllic. In fact, I don’t feel it was really in any way dissimilar to the childhood my own children are enjoying now in far more expensive (and much closer to london) Cambridge.

I suspect if I’d grown up poor in a village just outside Dereham, I would be telling you a very different story.

One thing I would say, however, much as we all love Norfolk, very few of my friends have chosen to stay there. Norfolk is isolated, and while it provides good opportunities for children and young adults, the likelihood is they will leave for new opportunities after university and not come back. I know that this has been difficult for many of my friends’ parents who now have children scattered around the country and indeed the world. I imagine this would be much less likely in London or any other metropolitan centre.

Gluewhine · 25/01/2024 10:48

In terms of jobs there are better opportunities now that wfh is a thing and I know lots of people who have moved to Norfolk in the last few years who still work in London or Cambridge and go in a couple of times a week.

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/01/2024 10:52

No idea. Always thought it outrageously overrated, flat and dull.
Lots of wealthy people I knew in the city bought second homes there in the 90s when it was very cheap, maybe that’s what made it desirable?

Gluewhine · 25/01/2024 10:52

I agree with pps Norfolk is a massive and diverse county. You could live in relatively well connected Norwich, which is an ethnically diverse city with a university, cathedral and teaching hospital and lots happening culturally. Or you can live in a village an hour from the nearest major town. Or a smart north Norfolk village full of Londoners and toffs half the year or in a coastal town with massive deprivation. It’s all there!

Gluewhine · 25/01/2024 10:54

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/01/2024 10:52

No idea. Always thought it outrageously overrated, flat and dull.
Lots of wealthy people I knew in the city bought second homes there in the 90s when it was very cheap, maybe that’s what made it desirable?

Historically property was very cheap compared to London and the SE but the gap has closed significantly now

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/01/2024 11:52

Gluewhine

Historically property was very cheap compared to London and the SE but the gap has closed significantly

Still has awful road links, though. Takes a ridiculous amount of time to drive a relatively short distance.

Damnloginpopup · 25/01/2024 15:17

ihatenorfolk2 · 24/01/2024 14:32

''I guess I have spent most of my time in “less desirable” areas such as Great Yarmouth where maybe the people are friendlier.''

That's where Myleene grew up and was experiencing racist abuse every single day, and each time I have been to Yarmouth I also have found it to a be a horrible, horrible place. You must have been in a nice part of it.

Thought Mylene was from Gorleston?

LBFseBrom · 26/01/2024 19:23

Gorleston is in the Borough of Great Yarmouth.

Damnloginpopup · 26/01/2024 23:16

Still two distinctive towns, separated by the river Yare. They used to be in separate counties too. Nobody local regards them as the same place.

TwinsAndTiramisu · 27/01/2024 08:05

Damnloginpopup · 26/01/2024 23:16

Still two distinctive towns, separated by the river Yare. They used to be in separate counties too. Nobody local regards them as the same place.

Sorry are you trying to say Gorleston and Yarmouth are distinctively separate and "locals" say so? It's the same people and the same awful area. With a river.

Is this a new thing? Not a thing in the 7yrs I worked there. Because whilst I appreciate anyone would try and disassociate from Yarmouth so the odd few might be "Oh, I don't live in Yarmouth, I live in Gorleston" they would essentially be laughed at by locals because Gorleston is just an extension of Yarmouth. It bit like "it's pronounced Bouquet".

Beach is less crap, I'll give it that.

Pearldiamond8 · 27/01/2024 08:31

Don’t move to Gorleston then is that what you’re saying as it’s next to Yarmouth? Thought it was a lovely place? Very mixed feelings

Damnloginpopup · 27/01/2024 09:09

Yeah. I've lived within ten miles of both since 1979. Worked in both over the years. 'Travel' to both regularly. My brother lived in Gorleston for a few years and his ex-wife used to babysit Mylene. My kids were both born at JPH, which is most definitely not in Great Yarmouth.

Personally I don't like either place particularly but they aren't one place. That said, Gorleston beach is nice, but the south end of Yarmouth beach (Premier Inn / Pleasure Beach access doesn't to the outer harbour wall) is very nice and a quiet spot.

Damnloginpopup · 27/01/2024 09:13

Oh, and definitely not a snobbery thing - they're both crap. Same as Caister, Hemsby etc. But then I grew up in a village with space around me. Woods, marshes, fields etc.

AlwaysPrawns · 27/01/2024 09:23

Pearldiamond8 · 27/01/2024 08:31

Don’t move to Gorleston then is that what you’re saying as it’s next to Yarmouth? Thought it was a lovely place? Very mixed feelings

Can I ask why you are thinking of Norfolk? It sounds that you have some freedom to choose where you live? Why are you focused on Norfolk when there are plenty of other places to consider? Just being nosy!

AlwaysPrawns · 27/01/2024 09:29

Pappleapple · 14/01/2024 16:22

How can it be true. Google “Depression statics UK) you’ll find Norfolk is all red. Google “Norfolk is an awful place to live” and you will find the local paper stating that it’s been voted one of the worst most depressing cities to live in. There is a huge class and wealth divide in Norfolk too.

Google “Depression statics UK)

Hi. I googled as you advised, searching for those words.

I struggled to find a map immediately. But the second link took me to this map.

https://digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/mental-health-bulletin/2021-22-annual-report

It does not look like Norfolk is the worst place for MH. Parts of the north east seem more affected. I will carry on looking.

A better life in Norfolk... really?
AlwaysPrawns · 27/01/2024 09:43

Most searches of ‘worst place to live’ bring up Luton, Bradford, Stockport, Milton K and others. Can’t see Norfolk.

I looked up depression stats again and found this list.
https://amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/may/06/most-depressed-english-communities-in-north-and-midlands

Highest estimated neighbourhood prevalence of depression

  1. Brinnington, Stockport, Greater Manchester: 23.6%
  2. Bidston Hill, Wirral, Merseyside: 20.2%
  3. Partington, Trafford, Greater Manchester: 19.4%
  4. Fleetwood North East, Wyre, Lancashire: 19.3%
  5. Sutton Hill, Telford & Wrekin: 18.9%
  6. Middleton Wood Side, Rochdale, Greater Manchester: 18.6%
  7. Tranmere, Wirral, Merseyside: 18.5%
  8. Fleetwood North West, Wyre, Lancashire: 18.4%
  9. Kidderminster Town, Wyre Forest, Worcestershire: 18.3%
10. Dinnington South, Rotherham, South Yorkshire: 18.2% 11. Milnrow East & Newhey, Rochdale, Greater Manchester: 18.1% 12. Woodchurch, Wirral, Merseyside: 18% 13. Birkenhead Central, Wirral, Merseyside: 17.9% 14. Belah, Carlisle, Cumbria 17.8% 15. Milnrow West & Kingsway, Rochdale, Greater Manchester: 17.8%

Whilst you couldn’t pay me to leave London and live in Norfolk, I am trying to find some objective evidence for the previous poster(‘s)’ claims. I would be interested to see what others find!

Most depressed English communities 'in north and Midlands' | Depression | The Guardian

Analysis shows London v rest of England divide when it comes to mental health and treatment

https://amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/may/06/most-depressed-english-communities-in-north-and-midlands

Pearldiamond8 · 27/01/2024 09:57

Where did you grow up? Sounds nice, still coastal?