How to help a highly anxious child settle at a club

[UndertheCedartree]

My 10 yo DD is highly anxious - she is autistic and also has Long Covid (mildly now) which has really ramped it up.

She won't do any after school clubs or after school care at school, although she does go to her gymnastics class which she started before she had Covid. I really want her to attend the kids club at my gym.

Has anyone any experience of settling an anxious child at a club and the best way to go about it?

I took her at the weekend and stayed with her for 10 min (longest an adult is allowed to stay) sitting next to her. Then when I had to go she didn't want to stay (as expected). I'm planning to take her this weekend and do the same but I'll sit on the sofa. I've also spoken to her about the staff and the children at the club and how nice they were. I'm also planning little 'prizes' for reaching the goal set.

Any ideas much appreciated.

Oh, sorry, I read it wrong!

It's - my DD half-wants to go to the club (activity she loves but is anxious of the other DC) and I want to help her to go. Much further on down the line if she settles in this group I may use the gym/a class/just have a quiet coffee while she is in kids club.

Having been a leader in this kind of situation, honestly the best thing you can do is come up with a 'plan' with the leaders there, and then drop her off and leave her to it!
Some things you might like to include in the 'plan';

• Where she'll be dropped off and what the leaders will do when she is dropped off (eg 'mum will help you hang your coat up in the cloakroom and say bye there, then a leader will walk you into the main room, where the colouring table will be until we start the main activity') [You may also like to come up with a contingency plan for is she's clinging on or crying etc, which still involves you leaving asap]
• A bit about what triggers her and what's helpful at home (eg 'Jane doesn't like sudden noises, so if something is going to be particularly loud, please let her know so she can put her ear defenders on')
• A bit of background on her (what she likes, what she doesn't, whether she knows anyone else attending)
• If she'd like a buddy for the first few sessions
• What an average sessions looks like (structure, what to bring etc)
• What will happen at the end (where will she be picked up and when)

Honestly one of the things that makes anxiety in kids at clubs so much worse is the parents lingering, wondering if they'll be ok etc, I heavily recommend that parents drop off near the door, and say something like 'I'll be back to pick you up right here at 6 o'clock, have a lovely time'. And then leave. If the child is visibly anxious doing things like clinging and crying, gently extracting them and having a club leader do something or give them something to distract them is probably best.
If it's the type of club where lots of parents stay for a while, come up with a proper transition for you both, for example, "we can do one bit of origami together, and then I'll go to the gym and come back to pick you up in an hour".

Original poster - off topic I know but what traits did u notice in her autism ? My four year old seems okay no obvious traits but is anxious like this too, took him football he cried & sat with me the whole time. I put it down to anxiety but yours is like this too so curios x