Wfh- where should workspace be?

[Michellexxx]

We have quite an open plan middle/back of the house. Husband wfh half of the week. He also likes to watch YouTube/partial to gaming. The office space was in this plaxe pre wfh and has remained so.

Husband has many calls and then talks when playing games (some evenings/weekends). So we’re always impacted by it. School holidays in particular when everyone is home.

Our kids are very keen on bunk beds and so my husband has the idea that he’ll take the bedroom as an office when it becomes spare. So we’d gain more of the open plan space back maybe for tog storage.

But I am feeling a bit relevant to give up a full room. he’ll absolutely take it over and try to decorate- I want to leave the day bed in there and will need space for some of the children’s clothes too. It will also probably only be for about 2/3 years.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling resentful about this? Or does it make sense and will stop us from getting annoyed with one another!

😁

YANBU. It's still your home, not an office, so he should work from home in a way that causes the absolute least amount of impact to home life.

I WFH 3 days a week and have converted the spare room into a multipurpose space. It has a sofabed, TV and a small desk with drawers so I can put away my work things at the end of the day. You wouldn't know I worked there once I pack my things up at the end of the day. The room also serves as a guest room and second lounge.

He does not need 3 monitors or a place for gaming memorabilia. He is being really selfish.

Can you really say he doesn’t need three monitors?

I have two monitors and a laptop screen for my (not particularly high flying) job and couldn’t do without them from an efficiency view.

He may well need three monitors. My dh does. To avoid having to lug them all up and down the stairs, we have two monitors in each space he uses, and the laptop screen is the third monitor.

But does he need three monitors at home, in the communal living space, when he has the option of going to the office, or building a garden office, or compromising his WFH space to allow for the fact that the house is primarily a home, not a workplace?

Right, but the OP doesn’t exactly seem thrilled with any option.

1. stay in alcove- impacts the rest of the house
2. use bedroom -may decorate with his stuff may not allow for wardrobe/daybed
3. use shed - may increase utility costs + may get annoyed he’s out there to game
4. return to office full time - all of the above issues for gaming

What other options are there? Something from the OP has to give

there's a few issues that are tangled up here - am I right in thinking the underlying issues are:

• you don't want him working in the open living space (impact on family life)
• you don't want him hiding away from the family gaming (impact on family life)
• you don't like gaming memorabilia/decor

Personally I'd say he should work from a bedroom so he's not working in the "family" space. But don't turn it totally into a man cave, space can be marked out for storage/the bed etc still. Then re-evaluate when the kids are older.

Then later on... It seems like you have a lot of space but not enough walls... Can you subdivide the bedroom the girls would share (not necessarily now, but in a few years)? Or block off the bit of the living room he currently uses so it's a separate room? or just get the garden office but in a few years time - he can still game in the house surely if you don't want him hiding away from the family?

How big is the bedroom that will be spare? Could you fit a room divider or a "wall" of ikea kallax units or similar, to divide the guest bed off from the office/gaming nook?

MyDH works in the conservatory and this is where our computer is well he is the only one who uses it. It also doubles as a music room as we all play instruments and he makes electronic music. I used to also work in there but as he is on calls constantly I work in the dining part of the living room at a desk. I only wfh two days thpugh.

Yes! Exactly right! I don’t know where the idea that men must have a totally separate area for themselves has come from! That somehow the house is the wife’s and children’s but doesn’t really accommodate their needs!? We also bought the house pre pandemic so no need for a big wfh space and now I’m unreasonable for not wanting to dedicate a whole space to it.

I am very keen on the outdoor office and we have a pretty big garden. He has totally gone off the idea though! I think he thinks that the amount of gaming he does will be more obvious if he’s unavailable to children’s requests etc in the house. Which does prove he’s probably distracted by it too often..

But, I think I’m going to move the office into the bedroom but clarify that it needs to double up for guests and storage. And be temporary. I do worry about changing again and the frustrations that will bring in a couple of years though..

We do hope to do an extension but the prices are crazy atm- this would solve all the problems. Otherwise, a garden office will have to do.

if anyone has any ideas on what to do with a room attached to the living area, please let me know! We can probably put some toy storage there but unsure what else..

Or you could go out to work and then that way you wont be around to be bothered by the noise.

@Valeriekat Surely working from home is now optional.

For some yes. For others not.

Both me and DH wfh for fully remote businesses.

For me personally, the most important but would be protecting our living space from work time. If that means he takes over a bedroom then that’s the best option (in my opinion). It also means he can close the door at the end of the working day and no be tempted have work available all the time in your living space. Would a compromise be some built in storage for the clothing and a day bed/sofa bed for occasional use? Regarding decor, I’d say pick your battles but something light and neutral would work best and also lend itself to an occasional guest room.

@Michellexxx i can’t quite visualise what his current workspace is like as you say it’s almost a separate room but not a proper doorway. Is it worth getting a builder round to see if there’s a way you could separate it properly? Then he’d have his downstairs space and you’d keep the bedroom for guests/if DC want separate rooms in the future.

Thanks for your question, I mean assumption.. I do go out to work 3 days a week. But if you read the post properly, then you would see this is an issue in school holidays (im a teacher) ; we have a toddler with primary aged child and the gaming.

His work meeting can often be when we’re all at home. But you’re right. Maybe I should just exit my home according to his work schedule. We could just eat out all the time. Great.

This is the layout of back of the house. The o is for current office. It’s an internal room, so no window but we have full doors along the side of the living room and back. So it’s a tricky area! It could be closed off but then no light and I’m not sure that sound would really be that quiet either.