To think this isn't the norm?

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My friends are on the whole terrible with making plans, keeping to plans and not cancelling.

I have a friend A who, last minute, will try and reschedule later on in the day or the next day.

I have friend B who will agree to meet for lunch then try and change the plan last minute, because they are running late, to meet somewhere thats near them and very inconvenient to me. I will walk the 40 minutes over to theres. Then after we've agreed to do lunch will often skip lunch because they've eaten, stay for 30minutes, then leave before I've finished mine because they've agreed to meet another friend.

I have friend C whose alarm always doesn't go off so they will 'let me know.' Then often lets me know when it is far too late e.g. 10am breakfast and 'lets me know' at 4pm

I have friend D who is always late sometimes 25 minutes late.

I have friend E who when I suggest plans with them will always 'not know what their plans are for the weekend yet'. I am always left hanging but I feel when they do say yes it's because something better hasn't come up.

I have friend F who is always busy unless her boyfriend is away then wants to spend the whole weekend with me. She's been with this boyfriend for 4 years, so not honey moon phase.

I have friend G who lives abroad and we agree to speak at a specific date and time. She is my very best friend. But just won't pick up at that date and time. Due to time difference I hang around waiting for 4 hours until I get a message ' the weekend got away with me lets catch up another time.'

I sat alone in a coffee shop for three hours this weekend as my two friends cancelled (one I was spending the morning with and one the later afternoon then dinner.) I am always early, always.

Is this normal?

I know I am a good friend and other than this I have good friends too. Some are ex colleagues who I have grown really close to, others old university friends, I know that they like me.

I have started to get bitter and resentful. I haven't yet shown it because I work so hard trying to act 'chill' and 'easy going.' I know it's a turn off having an uptight friend. How do I let them know that this really isn't good enough without turning them off me?

None of these friends have kids if that makes a difference.

It doesn't sound lien they value you/ the friendship.
Try and make some new friends, I don't think it will get better with your currrent lot.

Do you challenge them on why they want to change plans, or are late? In some of the cases, you are plan B.

I would rather give them a chance first and address it. I know they just wouldn't be too bothered if I cancelled and I just don't think they realize. My friends are international mostly and I know culture plays some part too.

No it's not normal (unless you're a teenager).
It honestly sounds as if you just have shit friends, tbh.

I think it's normal to have the odd friend who's a bit unreliable/late, I'm not sure it's normal to have that many unreliable friends.

Are you a doormat? It's possible you've got that many crap friends because you're not ruthless enough at cutting people out.

I'd probably stick with the one who's 25 minutes late and just factor that in and be a little late yourself or take a book. A lot of the others I'd be saying goodbye to.

It looks like you are not a priority to them as much as they are to you.
It also looks like they are avoiding meeting you. It is easier to get out of the meeting with a last minute excuse rather than tell you they'd rather not meet up (on odd occasions or every time). Shortening the meeting on a regular basis it's probably another avoidance tactic.
They may not enjoy (as much or any) spending time with you but they feel it would hurt your feelings not to agree to these meet-ups.
Crucial question is: who is mostly organising the meetings, who is the instigator? If that is you, I'd consider some of the above.
If it's not often you who organises, then you have unbelievably busy or important or flakey or rude friends.

Get some new friends who value you equally.

I would say that I am the usual instigator but many times they will say 'this is so much fun we should hang out more'. So I don't think that they dislike me at all.

This isn’t normal to have so many people who are so flaky :(

Tbh if I’d arranged to go for lunch with someone and they suggested dinner instead I’d probably just say forget it altogether!

Find new friends, these lot are awful :(

Ok. That's a lot of friends.

I'd just tell them each time that this is upsetting. Especially, at time of arranging I'd make sure they are clear that you're losing your patience and do not have time to waste.

Start looking for other friends too- easier said than done, I know - and try to you set your boundaries from the very beginning.

I drop people like this like a dead weight. Do you really need such flaky and rubbish people in your life?

You know that thing in Scrabble where the letters you have are so crap you can opt to miss a go and just put them all back in the bag and get new ones? That's what I'd do here. Bin the lot and work on finding new ones (even if it means your social life takes a while to recover).

One flaky friend is normal. That many flaky friends is unusual and the common denominator is you – are you making firm, concrete, “we’re meeting at X o’clock at X venue” plans with them or more “it’d be nice to hang out” type plans?

@Imnothereforthegiggles no I haven't but I would appreciate a link to the post

You've been very unlucky in having so many rude people in your life.

OK, anyone can have to odd time when things go a bit wrong, but the normal way to deal with that is to communicate clearly (and of course apologise)

I'm assuming you do like these people - but don't want to waste your life waiting for people to deign to turn up. So I think you need to decide your cancellation policy - eg how long you wait for an incommunicado no-show, learning to say "no, let's reschedule" when someone suggests a ridiculous change in venue etc

And I agree that it might help to find new, different activities to spend your spare time on. Do you have any old hobbies you'd like to take up again? Or something new you've always fancied trying?

Being from a different culture or international isn’t an excuse to be so flaky/rude and it doesn’t make their time more important than yours.

If it were me? I’d be backing off a bit. They can approach you. And you’ll at least have an answer as to how/if you matter to them.

💐

I think you should get some more friends whose expectations of a friendship match your own.

You don’t need to get rid of your existing friends, but you do need to stop relying on them to be there all the time. Clearly they’re just not those kind of friends. So find some people you can rely on to be there.