To say my friend owes me ?

[Nononono66]

Many nights out with friend. Quite a lot of these I felt were me paying more - on many occasions I paid for all the cabs on our night out. Some nights she would comment what a cheap night it was. It may have been for her, but I paid £30 more than night and were were together all eve and drank the same/ at the same pace. I don't know if she was purposely doing this or was drunk and didn't have a clue.
With that in mind, lately when she pays for something small ie under £10 and says (out of politeness and awkwardness only) don't worry about paying me, I won't pay her as she owes me.
AIBU ?

I think you need to bring it up at the time. So agree to split the cab, it’s so easy to transfer money online now - quicker than getting cash out. With my friends it all seems to even out. She may have forgotten, I’ve forgotten sometimes about who pays for the cab etc. sometimes we find it easier for one person to pay for everything then split the final total after.

I think you’re unreasonable for trying to sneakily address the balance and for not just speaking up when she commented on the “cheap” evening. Oh and YA-also-BU not to have just shared the taxi cost in the first place.
Weird.

“With that in mind, lately when she pays for something small ie under £10 and says (out of politeness and awkwardness only) don't worry about paying me“

That seems a bit shitty?

I mean - what a bitch, paying for you OUT OF POLITENESS!!! 🤣🤣🤣

You sound petty and bitter. If you had an issue you should have dealt with it at the time, not let it build up in terms of value and resentment.

Your friend may well not have the faintest idea what's going on. Why wouldn't you be straight with a friend?

Just talk to her about it FGS.

How did it come about that you always paid for the cab? She must have noticed?

@Johnnysgirl she noticed. I'm sure if it. It was just whenever we needed to get a cab, she would pay no attention to that fact/change the subject/play dumb to the fact

You really should have discussed it, though? She can't have "paid no attention to the fact" that you were hailing a cab unless she was so pissed that you literally just poured her in?

We have to telephone for a cab where I live. No hailing cabs. Sometimes she would have no money to pay.

Just tell her straight, honestly it'll just make you angry otherwise and end up not liking her.

Mention it next time then she can't pretend to be unaware. Maybe ask her to take turns or split the fare?

Do you mean that she didn't have any cash in her purse or do you mean she didn't have and cash at all?

If she intended to walk home but you were determined to call a cab, did you check she could afford half? If she was less affluent than you, I can see how she would need to avoid paying.

She clearly already doesn’t like her, or she wouldn’t be going for petty revenge 🤷🏻‍♀️

"Can you pay for the cab there as I've done it X number of times"

You need to say something.
I put up with a ‘friend’ like this for 20 years! She was always hanging back when it came to paying for something. When out in a group rarely bought a round. Never had the “right” money. In the end I said to her, why are you so tight? Our small group have subsidised your social life for 20 years!
We were all on similar salaries. Some people are just tight. We solved it by having a cash ‘kitty’ we all put the same amount in at the beginning of the evening. Anything left over was used next time we went out. Nowadays though people rarely use cash so probably to much hassle.

Both of you Get Splitwise app on your phone

Tell hee it's costing you too much as she often has no money to pay for shared cab at end of the night or for all the rounds and whilst she's noticed she's spending little money it's because she's spending your money! Say she owes you x amount and gnat going forward you'll both keep track so that it's fair and equal as you can't afford to subside her

Then record everything

It's really easy to use and all the uni kids do.

That ship appears to have sailed!

Time to set up a Revolut account where you can transfer funds to and from the account and then she could automatically transfer funds to your account before you set foot inside the cab!

Stop letting her get away with it.

Unless you have enough money that it really doesn't impact your monthly budget that much.