To think this isn't a secret code only mums know?

[CheeseIsMyPatronus]

When I'm downstairs and come across an item that belongs upstairs, I put it at the edge of a stair so the owner can collect it on their next trip upstairs. Be it pens, papers for the office, books, school work, socks, hair clips... if it's small enough to go on the stairs it sits there to be taken upstairs. Don't most normal people do this?

Whenever I climb the stairs I pick something up and drop it in the appropriate room (bathroom, office etc). I don't take the kids' stuff up now they're all over 14 because they don't like me going in their rooms when their not around. Fair enough.

My husband, sons and daughter all walk straight past everything each time. Even when it's their things. My brother does the same at his house, walks right by it without a glance. Drives my SIL nuts.

IABU - yes, this is some secret witchcraft code only mothers know so obviously you have to ask them speciffically every single time

IANBU - no, the lazy numpties should get their arses in gear, you are not domestic staff.

My husband is always creating these trip hazards too so I don't think it's a mum thing. I think he should leave it where he found it or put it where it belongs. It's laziness. He can't actually be bothered to tidy it away properly so tries to make it someone else's problem.

Yep, I’ve realised that I am the only person in my house with the physical ability to pick things up off the stairs and take them where they belong.

Start putting these things in a bin bag and then chuck it in the dustbin once a week.

I have a basket on the stairs labelled "if it's yours, take it" I bin the contents monthly if they go unclaimed.

I found until I started binning things they just stayed in the basket.

I hate mess on the stair, and I just take it up. That would drive me round the bend if people dumped a load of crap on the stairs. this is probably a good argument for living together before marriage and children. It we had vastly different attitudes to this, I don’t think it would work!!

I do this too (because I have a fucking strange house that's 90% stairs), in the hope the rightful owners will put said items away. We are messy fuckers in our house. So the neat edges of stairs piles are an improvement.

One visitor said, ahh you do it too. Followed by: it's amazing how long the kids leave them there, then you end up taking it upstairs anyway.

I have no idea why I do it or what I'm trying to achieve. An accident maybe.

Realises objects on stairs are not such a good idea.

@Oysterbabe - I have acute arthitis and go upstairs as few times as possible during the day. I'm not hauling myself upstairs every time I spot something someone's left down here.

@Onlyforcake - love the basket idea!

Drives me bats. I’m currently too heavily pregnant and in pain to bend down properly, and stairs are painful, so stuff is just left on the floor/stairs: DP who goes up and down the stairs a hundred fucking times a day because he’s a jack-in-the-box who can’t sit still has stepped over some of DD’s jumpers about a dozen times this afternoon.

Occasionally at the weekend rather than put stuff on the stairs I’ll go round the house with a giant bag for life and just sweep everything that’s not in its rightful place into it, then dump it by the front door with a “this is going in the bin tonight unless its owners tidy it”.

This is the only way to deal with other peoples clutter and not make a rod for your back
whether it is kids bedrooms, bathrooms or general stuff…set the rule

things left lying around for more than x days (to be agreed with partner) will be boxed or bagged. Into the “orphan item” box. If they are not removed from box/bag within 1 week they go in bin as obviously not needed. Doesn’t matter if pens, laptops, school uniform, shoes, or cuddly toy or toaster. Same rule .

and stick to it,

it only takes a couple of times that someone’s prized possession ends up being in dustbin or even a landfill before the message gets through(note you can always remove expense stuff to avoid landfill but put away somewhere only you know- to be sold or given back at much later point )

same goes for dirty laundry- if left on floor it is not washed and will go in orphan item box when you are next tidying.

BUT- be fair. Try to make tidying up easy. If you have kids that don’t like sticking stuff on hangers use pegs instead. Make sure there’s lots of drawer space. Buy easy storage boxes or trays for toys. Agree with everyone where stuff is put or where they can leave it etc. agree once. Remind them twice. Then apply orphan item bag/basket rules.

I'd shout 'do you not want this, I've left it on the stairs for you but if you don't want it I'll chuck it out' at the first sign of this.

Why should they care just because you care? if it bothers you, move it. If it annoys you that they don't move it, leave it.

I have put a box on the stairs with a lost and found sign on, if things go unclaimed after 2 days it’s binned. I am brutal yes, but have fell over their shit one too many times.

I do this but it's my system for me - I don't expect other people to follow it.

I do this to myself, tbh. Put stuff on the stairs to take next time I'm going up, then completely fail to notice it and walk straight past. Sometimes multiple times. Honestly I despair of myself.

It is simple, if they don't move it when they go upstairs, bin it. The obviously don't want it.

YANBU - even worse - youngest DD (14) came down to day, into the kitchen, placed her dirty PJ's into the empty washing basket by the washing machine and walked off - I did make her come down and take the basket back up to the bathroom!

DD2 (18) makes meals for herself and never washes up - I asked her to do it yesterday and she did - but ONLY her stuff - left a plate, cup and spoon of mine in the sink because 'it's not Hers' - so I have suggested to her I take the same stance with food shopping and clothes washing - she was unimpressed!

I think it's just typical teenage self-obsession but it drives me mad (thankfully no 'DH' here!)

We're all guilty of this in our house, usually end up with a pile of things on both staircases until one of us finally gets annoyed with it and takes it upstairs, even then it usually gets dumped in whichever room to sort through another day (often weeks later). Ironically it does annoy me and I hate stairs clutter, but it's a 20 year habit I can't seem to kick.

I don't like anything on my stairs, I'd end up breaking an ankle, I just remind people to take their items upstairs.

I have a stair basket. I merrily put stuff in it that belongs to everyone else in the house … getting more and more cross every time as no one ever empties it

Then when it is full to overflowing I get really angry, angrily take it upstairs fling everything in peoples rooms and then take it back down

Then it is empty and I am happy as obviously we are an organised house where everyone tidies away stuff

Then I fill it up again…

This is called "stair blindness" in our house ( the inability to see items on the stairs that need to be moved upstairs).

A counterpart of this phenomenon is the inability to notice empty toilet rolls and put them in the recycling.

I am the only one in our house who has the special ability to see and act upon these things.

I put belongings on the middle the stairs so they have to be picked up to get anywhere!!
It works 💪Xx

I assume you are talking about his own things. In op’s case it is her families stuff. So they were the ones leaving it to someone else in the first place.

I solved this by having a basket at the top landing and one at the bottom of the stairs. Laundry to go down, plus any water glasses, recycling etc goes in the top basket to be taken downstairs by the first person up in the morning. Clean folded washing goes in the one at the bottom of the stairs along with any random crap that needs to go away in peoples rooms as we go through the day. The person doing the toddlers bath that night takes the basket up with them and deposits stuff in the right rooms. But I had to make it specifically a job to take the basket up or down and deal with the contents. There's no point putting it there and hoping for the best.

I do this with stuff I’ve been shopping for eg shower gel. It’s amazing how blind my DH appears to be. The only guaranteed thing he takes up is the clean washing but mostly because it’s in his way right across the stairs.

I remember as a self-absorbed teen being gobsmacked when my mum lost her temper as I'd walked past a pile of my stuff on the stairs. It hadn't crossed my mind that I was supposed to pick them up myself! How was I supposed to know that's why they were there?
Karma got me in the end with my own teens / young adults who are blind to the things on the stair code and if they are told explicitly to take something up will do so and leave a pile on the bookshelf at the top of the stairs instead of the bottom 😡