AIBU to wish people would stop asking when my son will walk again?

[Theblackdogagain]

My son had a major operation last April, he's a wheelchair user and when he can walk he uses a frame. If he ever walks again it will be a long time in the future and with aids.
He's 13 and fully aware of his condition.
So many people when we're out and about see his scars, and the first thing when they see him ask when is he going to walk again. They know nothing about his situation and his wheelchair gives him freedom and independence. What if he never walks again, that's no biggie to us so why do people assume that's the most important thing?
So if you must comment on a person in a wheelchair please don't say 'bless' or treat him like anything other than a 13 year old boy and don't ask about his journey, you never know what the person is aiming for.

Ahh, people do this to adults too, though usually with more of a 'if you just tried hard enough/put in the effort, it would be possible'...without annnnny knowledge of why we're using the wheelchair in the first place.

Come up with a range of snarky answers - 'when the shark that bit my bum off gives it back'... 'when they can knit me some better legs'... 'Tuesday the Fifth of mind your own business'... 'I don't know, maybe the same time you learn not to be so rude'...

😆 A good exercise in calculated rudeness, and say it with a big smile too.. that really gets 'em confused.

People ask because for THEM the thought of a child being 'confined to a wheelchair' is sooooo abhorrent, so 'doesn't bear thinking about'... they have no idea that for some of us the wheelchair = freedom, from pain, from being confined to a house or a bed perhaps... they see it as a bad thing, I definitely see my wheelchairs as a good thing!

I hear you.

People can be astoundingly hurtful while ‘trying to be nice’

You sound like you need empathy not advice so I won’t offer reams of suggestions except one

can you turn this interaction round for your son so that he feels he can laugh at these blundering adults?

Maybe encourage him to give outlandish responses like ‘we are waiting for Amazon to deliver my new bionic legs’

I was out once with a friend with a life long progressive condition. She will never walk again, she can’t even weight bare to transfer any more but this drunk arsehole on the bus kept patting her on the head (woman in the 30s) and telling her not to worry she would be on her feet in no time.

Nothing we could say would dissuade him from his ‘reassuring’
You can’t stop people like this interacting with your son but you can give him the best possible tools to see it as their embarrassment not his

good luck op x

Thank you. It just grated on my nerves today as we were at the memorial for remembrance service and people just kept making comments and he hates it.