To hate how much time I waste every day

[nonono1]

Does anyone else feel like this? Now for example, I'm sitting Mumsnetting instead of tidying up the kitchen, sorting the laundry, weeding the garden and all the other 101 things that need to be doing. In my defence I'm feeling a little tired today but that's not an excuse really is it. Does anyone else feel like this and how do you resolve it? Is it just a question of willpower?

Are you me? I feel exactly the same and its got more pronounced as I've got older. I loathe dead time, I constantly feel I am under-achieving and try to fill my time with self-improving activities. I hate any activity which is associated with "relaxation". Even reading feels lazy and self-indulgent. I loathe mindless phone-scrolling and I have to leave rooms when the TV is on often because I hate the self-indulgence. I am on MN far too much and I feel appallingly guilty about it. I feel it sets a terrible example to my DD.

The thing is I know a load of people will tip up and say we need to unwind and learn to not be constantly on etc but I like being like this. I would absolutely hate a life of idling. I feel people like us are in a minority though.

I wouldn’t say I hate any activity related to relaxation - it’s more that I like those activities but then feel horribly guilty and think I should be ticking off jobs and “achieving” something rather than shamelessly chilling out. The problem is that as others have pointed out, the “to do” list is absolutely endless!

I know how you feel. My top tip is to do the thing you least want to do first. Once I've got that out if the way I find the rest of the tasks easier to handle.

My to do list is relentless and never gets smaller, however efficient and focused I am.

I feel like any time kicking back for any reason will allow it to spiral out of control.

I'm same. I'd rather sit on my backside, scrolling FB, bbc, insta, MN, wiki....just because I don't want to do the chores, housework, even take my make up off in the evening... and I hate myself for it. I've become so lazy and have put on weight as a result! Need to change some habits!

Do you live alone with your little one?

Just wondering why you should be doing all of this on your own? I get that a man and woman's roles in the home are disproportionate but if you have a man, is he feeling guilty too?

And yes, it really is never ending. My washing basket fills up as soon as its emptied, it's so tiring.

I could have written this myself… I feel so unmotivated to do anything and spend far too long on my phone in a given day. I would love to blame the fact that I’m pregnant again and the first trimester exhaustion is getting to me, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t as bad (or close to) before pregnancy 🙈😓😭

My son is the same with toys - I think the only way to solve that problem is have a small selection for them to play with and box the rest up (but to rotate them weekly so they don’t get bored with the same toys)… I wish I could follow my own advice! 😫

Some great tips from the other ladies though so might give some of those a go!

Yes. Because that stuff is boring as fuck. I get jobs done with podcasts (headphones help, noise cancelling) and I watch low stress stuff on netflix for example too. Nothing majorly intellectual or I stop and pay too much attention! I still waste a load of time. Getting up and doing starjumps might help. Sounds procrastinatey and wanky also but it helps. Also, I use timer apps, and take breaks, and I use offtime to stop me accidentally going online and getting frozen mid job. I get bored mid job and switch up which is a bit inefficient but it helps me if I've got to move about a lot. I'm still bad at the doing of the things but these things can help.

If it's housework stuff you need to do, put on your trainers. I swear, it works. Being in just socks or slippers can make me lose motivation. Also, use a timer. If you need to tidy the kitchen, put a 15 minute timer on and see how much you can accomplish.

Nope. I don't feel such guilt. Hardly ever. I do what needs to be done. Do that the house isn't unbearable, in case anyone should pop round. Not that anyone does. But that does seem to be the main MN angst issue. I MN a lot, because I like it, and I have quite a bit of spare time, because I organise my life that way. I don't really understand why women do this to themselves, this guilt thing. Kind of a pointless emotion, don't you think?

Slashbeef - I now have an earworm of the sesame street version of the olklahoma musical song where they sing all the wrong vowels at the start. Aaaayyyyyyyklahoma!

I think I spelled Oklaholma wrong. I can't make it make sense.

Read something a while ago that recommended combining things you dont like doing with something you do. Bought some earbuds and now listen to podcasts, books etc. whilst doing housework. Works for me.

How does your wash cycle take 28 minutes??

To be brutally honest, I am always a little suspicious of people, who are "busy" all the time.
A round of cleaning/housework is finite. Admittedly the circle starts again at some point, but there should be a gap when everything that needs to be done has been done.
I think it is important to be able to sit still and do nothing, read a book, sew or knit something, go for a walk or do anything that cannot be construed as either "work" or a "chore".

@FelicityFlops

To be brutally honest, I am always a little suspicious of people, who are "busy" all the time.

Suspicious in what sense? What do you think they are doing?

I felt like this today too. Lots of jobs and no motivation to do them. In the end I set a timer for 15 minutes this morning (I can't get anything done unless I set a timer): stripped the bed and put the sheets onto wash, ran around like a mad woman tidying up, ironed my uniforms for the week, and then when the timer went off I said fuck it and didn't do anything else productive. Went for a walk and binge watched the crown.

...and then felt guilty about it until my boyfriend got back home at 2pm and reminded me that I work hard all week and Sunday is the day of rest after all.

We are Human Beings.
Not Human Doings.

Just think about that. Downtime makes a lot of sense!

Thanks for all the tips - I feel more motivated just reading them! I think the timer idea could be particularly useful for me.

I do have a DH who does his share but we have very different standards. His idea of tidy is very different to mine. I know people will say “just lower your standards” but I really struggle to do that. I feel it affects me mentally if the house is anything less than pristine.

I wonder how I'd be without a smart phone. I never used to spend so much time just fannying about, frittering away time. It's so easy now it's all on my phone, which is always near me, rather than getting a laptop out. I also feel bad my dc see me using it a lot - emails, calls, photos, online etc. I think I need some app timers as pp have mentioned.

Does it seep into other areas of your life? I ask because if you're just pottering about at home I don't see the issue if it's taking you an hour to just get the hoover out but at work do you struggle to sit and complete a task?

I enjoy mn and a bit of procrastinating. Why do we feel the time is “wasted” and we should be constantly doing a thing like cleaning etc? It’s fine to do nothing sometimes. I work full time, and studying for a masters part time and have 3dds. I’m allowed to be lazy sometimes.

That’s me!

love the summer months and am always doing something. In the colder months I spend far too much time doing naff all and shouting at my watch when it keeps tellling me it’s time to move 😂

What did we do before smartphones though? I cannot remember people being a lot more productive. I don’t think they were. But I can’t remember exactly how I used to waste time. (For info, I’m in my mid 50s so didn’t grow up with the internet).

Same age - used to be bored rigid with 3 TV channels and spent hours reading books, newspapers, procrastinating - 30 years later reading MN and online news, still procrastinating 😆