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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To decrease contact between dd and father?

4 replies

Whoopsywoo · 13/11/2022 13:27

Dd11 consistently has said she doesn’t want to go since she can speak

has talked about drinking events from the afternoon when she is there

often he is not there or goes out and she is left with his wife and step siblings or her parents

dd says he hits his other children and this scares her

dd just doesn’t seem to like him - I think this stems from him not being around and then being quite punitive. Recently dd scratched her arms and he basically had a go at her and told her it was unacceptable. (I’m fuming about this as I had asked him to ensure he reassures her that she is loved and can talk to us all - he has done the opposite). He did this yesterday and then proceeded to take her to a drinking even then left her with his wife’s parents for the night.

i am getting increasingly worried about his level of drinking

iv really tries to encourage her to go abs them to have a relationship but I’m at the point now where I can’t continue to get her to go when she is telling me this! Wwyd ?
i want her to have his side of the family but I also want her to be happy

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 13/11/2022 13:45

She's 11 and able to make her choices and has explained why she doesn't want to see him and it's for very good reason (as opposed can't be bothered) - all those things in isolation would be reason enough let alone altogether. She's made her wishes clear so I'd let her carry on.

Whoopsywoo · 13/11/2022 13:46

Thank you. I think I just need reassurance
I’m terrified he will take me to court he is a lot more better off than me financially

OP posts:
swingersnotroundabouts · 13/11/2022 13:53

She would be listened to if he did take you to court. By the time court was over she'll have had another birthday, possibly two.
So don't worry about that side of it. I'm in family court myself at the moment.

Whoopsywoo · 13/11/2022 14:11

Iv checked and I think she is Gillick competent
she’s just worried about me saying anything so need to try and find a way
I want them to maintain a relationship but it can’t go on like this

OP posts:
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