Is anyone else an anxious traveller?

[claudiasfringe33]

Posted recently about being a homebody and how I love being at home however I'm realising that it's not so much that but it's that I'm anxious about going places. I especially get anxious and panicky about going to new places or places far away that require a long car journey. I don't know why I'm like this but it really prevents me taking my dc places and means that days out tend to start with a panic attack.

This weekend I was looking forward to a lazy weekend but I don't feel better for having not done anything. I feel like I should have been out enjoying life and doing stuff. Once I get somewhere I'm usually ok but psyching myself up to actually go somewhere new is an ordeal that sometimes makes me feel like it's not worth it.

Is anyone else anxious when travelling to new places? How did you overcome it? I keep thinking I need to push myself to do things and not have so many weekends like this where we do nothing or don't venture far at all. Otherwise it's going to feel like more of a big deal when I do. But gosh I'm finding it really hard. The idea of an actual holiday feels unmanageable right now yet that's supposed to be something to enjoy and look forward to. How could I manage that when I have a panic attack just going to the next town? I don't know what's wrong with me.

Not an anxious traveller and generally love travelling but I did find the prospect of flying post COVID pretty daunting. Had just lost the habit really and found to my surprise that after decades of being unphased by travel I was apprehensive.

I would urge you to feel the fear and do it though. It's such a huge loss not to discover new places. Any anxiety you do feel when setting out will be much more than compensated for by the experience and the satisfaction of getting past it. Don't let anxiety limit your life: it's such as waste.

Have you had any counselling for it?

I tried CBT a few years ago but it did nothing for me.

I used to love going to new places. I travelled a lot in my twenties, often without any set plans just winging it as I went. I can't believe I'm the same person.

You're right, once it's over I do feel like the panic was worth it and the experience more than compensated. But I wish it didn't have to come to that. I wish I could just crack on and do things without having a panic attack before. And the fear and worry of a panic attack before that.

We do enjoy visiting nice places once we are there but I hate travelling and find the idea of being lost unbearable. Unfortunately I seem to have passed that onto my (adult) kids. It doesn't help that we all get travel sick.
We deal with it by being organised when we travel, even to the extent of making lists and looking up places on google maps street view. (This really paid off a few years ago when I was given bad directions, if I had followed them we would have ended up in the middle of nowhere and missed an appointment.)

I had CBT for agoraphobia. Part of the therapy was just getting outside every day. If its a busy place, I've realised that the constant background noise triggers anxiety and panic attacks, so I can listen to music through headphones to block that out.
If I go somewhere like a shopping centre without headphones, stand in the middle and tell myself 'now hear it how it really is' I stop mentally blocking out the noise and its awful. The noise of hundreds of people and the constant bustle are disorientating. So try adding an mp3 player to your travelling kit.

Me! Currently contemplating cancelling a holiday next month. Only meant to be going to Spain, in my younger days I travelled solo much further afield and had a great time.

I don't like going places at the weekend if they're going to be at all busy. So unless I get up and out first thing I don't do anything (like today). I was always a bit like this but I've got much worse since COVID.

I don't have any answers, just to let you know you're not alone.

Thank you for replying. Sorry others go through it too. I see other people just heading off on a whim and wonder why I can't be like that.

Part of my issue is that panic causes sickness and diarrhoea for me. I retch even if I'm not sick and this isn't something I can hide so I feel very self conscious. Also the tummy issue means that my panic causes more panic about where a toilet is. It's a very vicious cycle and really limits where I go. I also hate queues or appointments, any situation where I feel boxed in and unable to escape - so planes, trains and cars are triggering too. What a life.

I have always been like you op. I honestly dislike leaving my home to go away, but I do it because I know it is good for me! However, the first time away to a new place, is always stessful. I will not sleep for several days beforehand, and will be very nauseous on the day itself, this is even going away for the weekend to visit relatives! I am fine when I arrive.

For holidays, the first time in a new place, it takes me a week to settle down. However, once we find a place we like, we go back many times, and then I am happy, because I know where we are going, how we are getting there, and what to expect when we arrive. An hotel in Sardinia is currently my favourite place. However, again, I will only fly from Gatwick Business Class by BA. I have to book it all and be in control. It's a price we have to pay to get me to go!

When I was younger we used to drive to Italy over a couple of days to my childhood family town. I wouldn't eat at all on our travels, I would literally retch with anxiety, I would shake and shiver all night. Drove DH mad. On the way back I would be fine, weird eh?

But, big but, I force myself to do it, and it's always fine in the end. And, it is especially lovely to come home again.

@KnittedCardi you sound so much like me! Im always ok on the way back too, what's that about? I think it's fear of the unknown whereas the journey back is ok because you've done it once already. It's just the level of stress beforehand that makes it such a pain. And for days out it hardly seems worth it. Such a depressing way to live though.

I am EXACTLY the same. I’ve always been like it to an extent.

I’ve travelled extensively, why do I find it so nerve wracking? Recently I went a holiday where I didn’t get it though! No idea what the difference was, back to not sleeping before and feeling anxious for days beforehand on the next trip.

It’s definitely a control thing with me. I think it might be learned behaviour from my Mum who is the same….