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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be really expected to carry on and give birth?

34 replies

Zeolitehg65 · 13/11/2022 07:23

I am heavily pregnant and my insides have started falling out - known as prolapse
and apparently I can just carry on as normal no early induction or C-section. No help for symptoms and no information about it.
id not being told this could happen
the whole part of whatever is prolapse is out and painful had bleeding and struggling with toilet - but apparently it is ok and I can still push an estimated large baby out of there!!
has anyone else had this ? and can it be done? I’m terrified I’m going to be left disabled, or baby will get stuck ,or emergency caesarean , all the nightmare possibilities are running around my head!

OP posts:
Katelyn88 · 13/11/2022 07:25

get an appointment with your consultant and ask a lot of questions. If you want an induction, ask for it (assuming you are full term already). Hugs Hun

Katelyn88 · 13/11/2022 07:27

Also if you prefer a C-section, ask for it. I got approved for a C-section after I had a bad episiotomy with my twins. I didn’t want to take the risk of damaging that area even further with a vaginal delivery again. They approved within 10mins.

Badgirlriri · 13/11/2022 07:27

Request an elective section. Prolapse is good enough reason but NICE guidelines state maternal choice is acceptable anyway.

Twizbe · 13/11/2022 07:29

How many weeks are you what have the doctors actually said.

ShadowPuppets · 13/11/2022 07:32

Just to be aware, prolapse was one of the reasons I asked for an ELCS for my second birth, although my prolapse only appeared after DC1’s birth. I was told that the main thing to cause/exacerbate prolapse is the pregnancy itself, rather than giving birth, and that prolapse in and of itself isn’t usually cause for an ELCS.

I thought this was a bit Hmm as one of the reasons my DC1’s birth wound up with forceps was because they were worried that I’d been pushing too long (3h) and risked damage to my pelvic floor (DC1 was fine, not in distress). But I got my ELCS on the basis of maternal request anyway - just in case you decide to go down that path and they try and push you back on that.

Original poster
Zeolitehg65 · 13/11/2022 07:33

I’m 37 weeks and they said to just live with it and then when the times comes the damage shouldn’t get any worse and that it should open up to make room for a babies decent! They did not seem to care really just said oh well we’re aware of it now and you might need surgery six weeks after!!
im also 41 and thought early induction due to age but apparently not also however I know others who have! I am not under a consultant at all but I have got my next midwife appointment next week and I’ve not seen her yet since this happened as my last appointment was 3 weeks ago.

OP posts:
Worldwide2 · 13/11/2022 07:37

Omg that's terrible and it doesn't make sense as when you have a prolapse the last thing they want you to do is strain and push when your on the toilet so surely pushing a frigging baby out is going to be more damaging. I would seriously see a consultant op. Its disgusting how much women are supposed to just 'live with'

Katela18 · 13/11/2022 08:02

Op if you are worried you can just ask for an induction of ELCS if it eases your anxiety. Speak to your midwife and they will be able to advise on the route to take. Unfortunately you do really have to advocate for your own preferences as they will just be following the book not necessarily considering the emotional side of it x

Bramwell2020 · 13/11/2022 08:11

Maternal request c-section is an option for all but unfortunately you may need to advocate for yourself quite firmly.

If possible I’d also try and speak to a pelvic floor physio - they are available on the NHS but if you can afford it, speaking to someone privately will be quicker. A good physio is worth their weight in gold. They can hopefully suggest some things to make you more comfortable now, talk you through birth options and help make a plan for after birth. I’ve seen two Physio’s since I gave birth and they were both amazing!

Original poster
Zeolitehg65 · 13/11/2022 08:13

Thanks so much for all the information
mom going to explore some of these suggestions and chat with my Mw who I hope will be more clued up with this too

OP posts:
OldReliable · 13/11/2022 08:15

I would be demanding an ELCS. You have the right to ask for one if that's what you want. No way would i want an induction or to give birth through a prolapse. If they try and push you into something you don't want, you need one simple phrase - "i do not consent to that".

Unfortunately i learnt the hard way that the NHS would rather risk things going wrong than to just do a maternal request ELCS because of their targets. It's not them who have to live with the long term effects of their decision.

greeneyessparksfly · 13/11/2022 08:17

@Zeolitehg65 sorry to hear you are going through this. I also have a prolapse (cystocele and a uterine one) and I am due my second baby in March. The prolapses happened after my first baby. I just wanted to say you are well within your right to request an elective c-section and say this is what you want if that’s what you choose after reading the pros and cons. I don’t think it’s too late either. I do also have other birth injuries unfortunately, but all gynae consultants I’ve seen (including before pregnancy) have recommended c-section due to trauma in that area. I am on groups on fb where people have gone on to give birth naturally and their existing prolapse hasn’t worsened and there are some that have, so there are two sides, but if you’re already feeling scared and anxious i would definitely talk to your consultants. Having a c-section won’t make your prolapse go away, but it might just ease any further birth trauma.

On another note you definitely do not have to just “live”’ with it. After birth find a good pelvic floor physio, get a “mummy mot” if you can - someone who can give you the right exercises to help stabilise your prolapse a little and possibly improve it (this did happen for me - they aren’t gone but I’m asymptomatic most days unless I do lots heavy lifting). There are also pessaries that are available on nhs to help support you which you could look into afterwards whilst your body is recovering - lots of women use these to help them live a normal life, and of course surgery can be done. I don’t know if this is allowed but there is a group called the pelvic power movement group on fb ran by a lovely pelvic physio therapist - you will find lots of women in the same boat and it’s a very supportive place with lots of ways to support yourself.

DonutWorry · 13/11/2022 08:26

Personally I would be asking for a C section in your position. I didn't have any trouble at all getting one with my second after a really bad tear with my first. I think there was one registrar that tried to put me off a bit but just be clear that you know the risks and you know what you want and it's fine. It might help to do a bit of reading first if you decide that's what you want to do, all the best op

Deguster · 13/11/2022 08:29

I thought all pregnancies <40 were consultant-led? Either way, demand ELCS. I did - turned out my consultant had two ELCS herself!

Dibbydoos · 13/11/2022 08:54

I don't know when my prolapse happened, but I waited 10 years after my second was born to look into the horrendous probs I had after my doc repeatedly told me many women have the probs I had...

Anyway, one gynae consultation later and I had a hysterectomy 2 weeks later. Never looked back, best thing I ever did cos all my probs disappeared.

Your prolapse may not go back, so prepare for a hysterectomy. I think the medics are saying its not going to fall out with a baby in there, but def talk to a consultant.

Ref your birth in a few weeks, I'd suggest an elective CS. If the consultant feels you need a hysterectomy they can do it at the same time.

I'm really sorry this has happened to you. It's shit :(

HotCoffee22 · 13/11/2022 08:58

OP I have a prolapse bought about by a forceps birth, third degree tear and a episiotomy. I had no.2 by planned section and my reasoning was to preserve the function I have and not worsen my prolapse - moderate uterine prolapse. The consultant was totally supportive and absolutely happy to let me have a section. We discussed it at length and she just said “what do you want to do” an obstetrician later told me she thought it was a sensible choice.

Absolutely push for a section. It’s not guaranteed that a natural birth will make your prolapse worse but it’s definitely better not to risk it!

Heyahun · 13/11/2022 08:59

Go to the hospital and say you are in agony and you demand an elective c section ! This is shocking tbh

WimbyAce · 13/11/2022 09:20

Seems a bit odd when you are 40 plus that they are not discussing more options. Mine were very keen I didn't go over 40 weeks and discussed induction/el cs etc. I had no other risk factors. I was keen for a vbac and luckily baby was a couple of weeks early but the choices were definitely on the table.

Original poster
Zeolitehg65 · 13/11/2022 09:40

Yes I can’t understand why I have not been instructed to have an early induction due to age as well I wondered if it’s because it’s not my first but my last baby was a long time ago and was uncomplicated and vaginal birth
however it was fast and I wonder if some of the damage was done at that time as I did tear but didn’t have stitches

OP posts:
NewHopeNow · 13/11/2022 10:01

Insist on a planned c section. Don't let them make you feel like you don't have options and rights because you do. Please don't just go along with the birth if you feel it will damage you further. You're the one who has to live with the consequences, not them.

Black1985 · 13/11/2022 13:02

You need to have an elective c-section. Do not go ahead with a natural birth. If you had prolapse from giving birth naturally they would advise you to have an elective c-section on subsequent pregnancies. Absolute madness that they aren’t insisting now. You need to insist. You can’t be passive about this. You have two weeks to go. On Monday you need to be fighting for this. A natural birth will make it worse.

sorry to be blunt. I’m in a bit of a rush but if you need anything do PM me.

NameChange30 · 13/11/2022 13:08

You need to call the midwife team tomorrow and insist on a referral to consultant-led care, so you can have an appt with a consultant to discuss your options, including the various risks and benefits. You could also - as an extra or an alternative - request an appointment with the consultant midwife, who can also discuss your options with you.

See www.aims.org.uk/information/item/making-decisions

OldReliable · 13/11/2022 15:50

Birthrights is an excellent charity for pregnant women to help you recognise and champion your own rights. Their website is worth a look.

Whoneedsleep · 13/11/2022 16:24

I feel your pain OP. I’m also pregnant with a prolapse and the hospital couldn’t give a crap. They say a natural birth won’t make it worse. Apparently induction does risk it becoming worse.

I don’t know what to believe either but I hope you get sorted ASAP!

TarquinOliverNimrod · 13/11/2022 16:30

Ask for an elective section. I did and had no reason for it other than that’s what I wanted and felt was safer for me and my baby. I was very assertive and well researched. The consultant agreed despite making the point that I was a good candidate for a VB. that was of no interest to me as my mind was made up.

As it happened, my waters broke the day before the planned date and I still insisted on an emergency section, which I got.

It’s your legal right to elect for a section.