How to cope with everyone liking DH more?

[Kolma]

His family, my family, his friends, my friends.. etc.
He is a wonderful man but ffs its so irritating especially when its something trivial. We both work FT in high pressure roles. Anything he does seems to be a big f*ing deal. Cooked a meal? Congratulations. Got the slightest sniffle? Lets all make a fuss.

Hang on, though. How do these people know he’s cooked a meal or got a head cold? How is all this congratulation and concern being communicated?

It doesn't mean they like him more. It's more likely that they are being sexist and expect you to do the cooking, so when he does it he gets congratulated for being such a wonderful husband and fantastic human being.

Do you like him?

Yes I like him a lot. We do a similar job and met through work (many years ago). We have a normal relationship with friends and colleagues etc including mutual ones. Its just the family interactions (both sides) that I find so exhausting.

I might achieve X at work and the response may be "congrats Kolma". DH could do the same thing and its such a big fuss "OMG huge congrats MR Kolma" etc etc.
My birthday - DH will do something special, i'll get a few msgs from family, all fine. His birthday - a huge fuss will be made by both his AND my family.
Any big work event - everyone will go to town wishing him luck, he does well? we all celebrate, something goes wrong? we all commiserate.

We have family whatsapp groups. He cooks something interesting and a pic gets posted, it gets a lot of attention. I would feel absolutely ridiculous posting a photo of what I've prepared for dinner.

It may just mean that they know he is needy and they are humouring him. I would find all that attention mortifying and embarrassing, so frankly I think you have the best deal here. Maybe also just stop telling people about everything you both do, and they'll learn to shut up!