This is a very first world problem, I know, and I realise how lucky I am compared to some other people, but, I can’t help be so annoyed with my dysfunctional family!!
Basically, my Mum has been very fortunate to be gifted houses off of her Mum. Many moons ago I was renting one of these properties and I was paying £60 a week (this was 12 years ago, for about a couple of years, and this property is an ex-council house so I suppose a fair price at the time, considering family I suppose!). Buuut, because of this my brother seems to think I’ve been SO fortunate and have always “always?!” Had handouts off our Mum, and this is used against me ALL the time. It really shouldn’t get to me like it does but it’s whenever I see him, he’s actually nasty about it too, calls me spiteful names (we’re now in our 30’s!), basically undermines me like I wouldn’t be where I am now without these “handouts”. (My husband and I own our own home which we’ve worked and saved for, although did have a little help off HIS parents). I’ve worked full-time since I was 18, my husband works in a good professional job, it’s kind of insulting to think we’re not able to make it on our own! My brother is also in a better job, works offshore, is able to provide for his family well without his wife having to work.
Anyway, what I am so annoyed about more than anything is that the fact I am not as fortunate as he makes out and don’t deserve all this shit and it is in fact him who has had all these handouts he keeps going on about.
- he got to keep all his savings our Dad left us when him and my Mum broke up (around £5-£10k, I’m unsure). Where my Mum emptied my savings account before I turned 16 when she was with her druggie ex husband.
- my brother got a nice sporty car off my Mum when he passed his driving test.
- I had a car off her about 2 years after passing my driving test.
- We both had £1000 off my Mum when we bought our houses, although my brother had extra when he went on to sell and buy another house recently, I sold and bought another house last year, didn’t get any gift or money.
- My mum has just been going on about how she’s paid the excess on my brother’s expensive vet bill, as well as putting money towards bla bla bla, she told my husband she’d just given him £5k while she went to visit him last week.
I don’t care about the fact that I don’t get the same, I’m over it, I’m pissed off about the fact that I get all of this shit off him and it’s totally not deserved! I cared for my Grandmother (Mum’s mum) when she had dementia, I would bathe her once a week, cook for her and my grandad couple of times a week, little things around the house like cleaning and taking the bins out, and never expected anything in return. And this house that I rented off her for 2 years, my mum’s nephew is in there at the moment, has been for the last 5 years, and he doesn’t have to pay her rent! Just cover the bills! So basically I’ve had a lot less compared to pretty much everyone else!
I really understand it’s first world problems, but it’s not the money I’m annoyed about, it’s the insults of me relying on others to get by, when I don’t! The childish insults about my appearance (used to have bad teeth in my teens) he still name calls me the things he did when I was a teen! Just the total disrespect. I’m so over it.
Do I just let it go and move on because no matter what I say to stick up for myself he won’t accept it, or do I still try and get it through his thick skull that he’s just entitled and is actually the one that is spoilt and not me!