TW: Inappropriate pictures of minors

[Lastexittospringfield]

A couple of years ago my sister found inappropriate pictures of minors in my dad's gallery on his phone. There were pictures of children in third world countries all lying together on the concrete floor with barely any clothes on, children in bikinis and a child in a nappy with their legs spread open. My sister was really upset and showed me and my mum. I had a look through his phone and it seemed these pictures had been saved from Pinterest. He had searched on Pinterest for things like 'barefoot kids', 'kids swimwear' ect. Also in the past I walked into the living room and he had toddlers and tiaras paused on the tv. I confronted my dad about it and he went crazy, accused me of calling him a pedophile, theatened to push me down the stairs and kill me but insisted it was all a mistake.

My father had always been abusive growing up but more mentally and occasionally physical never sexual though. Social services never helped us, I have however had councilling and CBT to help deal with my childhood.
He was very abusive to my mum who has agrophobia and locks herself in her room most of the time. She will not leave him though. My mum at the time of finding the photos was in touch with someone from rise, she told them about the photos and they called the police. The police came round for a welfare check and asked about the photos but said they could not do anything because they were not extreme enough.

We all sort of just forgot about the pictures and tried to move on. However a few weeks ago we went bowling and I saw him staring at groups of children and yesterday I caught him looking at this scrap book from a primary school he had found at the market. It had lots of pictures of primary school children in, and there was one with the children in swimwear. He said he wanted to sell it on ebay, as someone who went to that school might want to buy it. Its all just really messing with me, I feel so upset and angry, I feel its ruining my life. I am still worried he is looking at pictures but in a way I don't want to know so I don't try to look. Also I don't want to tell my partner incase he judges me.

I just don't know what to do about it, it seems it's not bad enough to get to police involved again. I am supposed to be moving in with my partner next month but I feel bad for leaving my mum and sister with him. Please could someone give me some advice on what to do.

Thank you

How old are you and your sister?

If you’re both adults, I think all you can do is ensure you both have the same information, move in with your partner and distance yourself from your dad. Mentally cut him out.

If your mum is unwilling to leave him all you can do is check in with her from time to time. But you’re not obliged to do that even - it’s ok if you need to just cut yourself off from the whole drama.

Maybe try the police one more time… sounds like he needs to be on their radar.

I couldn’t continue to have a relationship with him. I get it’s difficult if your mum won’t leave him, but ultimately she’s an adult and choosing to ignore some awful things. He was abusive towards you and is clearly a pedophile… even if the police aren’t able to do anything based on what they have seen.

What if you have children? You absolutely can’t let him have any kind of relationship with him.

I would call the NSPCA to seek advice OP.

Don't engage with him more than necessary. If you have children, they need to be kept away from him as you probably know already.

Please advice your mum that if your Dad has anything incriminating on his phone including images which would be deemed abuse and he shares these with her, she will also get into trouble. So she needs to think about whether she wants to be with someone like this.

Please seek counseling for yourself and you and your sister can support each other.

Have a look at Stopitnow.org.uk

Very helpful

He sounds like a dirty nonce, quite frankly. I'd be reporting him.

That’s sickening. What an awful situation for you.

How old are you and your sister?

I would try to encourage your mum and sister to also leave. If they won’t, presuming your sister is an adult, I would go ahead with your plans to move out and cut all contact with your father. I would call the police about your recent findings, just in case something is ever reported in the future.

Obviously, if ever you have children, never ever let him have any contact. I would also tell anyone you know that has contact with him.

If the police can’t do anything, that’s all you can do really, which is terrible as he is potentially a huge risk to children. So sorry you’re having to deal with it.

Thank you for your replies. I will contact stopitnow for help. Me and my sister are in our mid 20s, neither of us have children. My dad is 70.