In laws

[Popcorn2316779]

Long complex relationship with in laws. They are v jealous of the time i spend with my parents. In laws were supposed to look at dd3 when i went back to work for a day a week. They cancelled on me after I'd sorted it all with work which left me a bit stuck. Since then I've repeatedly invited them around but theyre always said they are too busy with work, looking after their parents. Mil is always on the brink of a breakdown we get told.however i constantly get asked when they can take dd3 out for a few hours and they don't see her enough. Things escalated last weekend when we were all ill and the in laws randomly told me they thought i was stuck up, condescending, disrespectful etc etc basically they don't like me followed by when will you let us take dd3 out.
They dislike me, swear at me but want my child. Husband sees them weekly but works 6 day weeks so time is precious.
Aibu to tell them just to leave me alone?

Big hugs OP
How horrible.
It's really hard to advise without knowing their personalities.
They are behaving very badly towards you, but telling them to F off might not help things in the long term I suppose...!

I think I we just pull back a bit for the time being. Surely they'll work it out?!

They sound awful.

Your DH needs to get involved right now and make it clear their behaviour is outrageous and that if they want a relationship with DGC that must be based on showing respect to you their DM. He needs to be absolutely unequivocal - a shot across the boughs so they realise they've massively messed up. It sounds like there's always some drama for them, well you are not their punching bag. They get their shit together or their time with DC3 (and DCs 1&2?) will be very much reduced - that's not using the kids as pawns, you have to be able to trust them to act/speak appropriately to and about such an important person for the children.

Poor you, I'm sorry this has happened. But I reckon Dh can fix it - make sure he does.

I’m a firm believer that if you can’t be civil with the parents, you don’t get access to the children. Like, if you’ll behave that badly towards an adult, why would I trust you with a child?

For a kid to hear someone speak badly about their parent hurts them. I wouldn’t trust the in-laws.

They swear at you? . Your DH needs to tell them that is totally unacceptable and he needs to end contact with them as well if they can't be civil to his wife. You don't need to be 'best friends' but if they can't even be polite why bother to have any sort of relationship with them.

Oh gosh I missed the bit where you said they swear at you....that's really bad. Can your DH not have a word?!

Block them completely and tell your husband you will not be seeing them until they decide to find their manners.

Stop thinking about them.

This is 100% on your husband to resolve.

But they would not be seeing my children with their language, drama and behaviour.

This is not normal behaviour and you do not have to accept it.

Thank you all. It had made me so ill. I wanted to check it wasn't me being over sensitive

Oh my goodness they sounds awful OP!! Let your husband speak to them from now on and if they are going to be that nasty then no theu can't see your child

Please don’t see them again. They sound like scum.

Yeah this is well out of order. Who randomly starts slating someone like that out of the blue. What did your DH say about that, I'm presuming he was present or you told him?

He needs to step up and back you up here and make it crystal clear that it's unacceptable for them to speak to you like that and there will be no unsupervised taking of dd until they've proven that they can be reasonable people.

They would see a unicorn before they saw my child.

What does your husband have to say?