to be hurt by a secret Instagram account

[Bakergram]

Name changed as not to be outing.

My SIL and and I are close and have a good relationship. We see each other weekly and spend a lot of time in each others company. She is a fabulous Auntie to my children and they both adore her.
About 5 years ago a encouraged her to get into a hobby I already did. Let's just say it was baking. I encouraged her, introduced her to other bakers, took her to competitions, bought her supplies, travelled to support her and opened up a lot of opportunities for her as I was already well connected.
A mutual friend recently mentioned a post on SILs instagram related to baking. She often posts but I hadn't seen this one. When I checked it wasn't there, I assumed she had removed it. The another friend was talking about something SIL had done (a very positive thing) and pulled out her phone to show me something on SIL's instagram. The account is one that SIL started about 2 years about and is solely to do with her hobby. When I search for it I can't access it. Not, I have to request, her username says "not found". So I then checked her username from an account I manage but isn't my personal account and from this I can access her hobby related account.
I'm obviously not bothered at all by her hobby account - I think it's great but I'm so hurt she felt she had to completely hide it from me. I really don't know why she would. Should I mention it or just accept that she will have her reasons?

I would be disappointed in your shoes. Can't imagine what her reasons would be. I'd probably have to let her know that I know without actually saying that I know

Why would you mention it? What result would you be hoping for?

Maybe she feels awkward about it as it was 'your' hobby initially? So perhaps feels a bit embarrassed as if she was hanging off your coat tails if that makes sense?

Maybe to find out the need to hide it?

Wow she blocked you on the account?? That’s so dramatic. Maybe she’s embarrassed and feels like she copied you and doesn’t want you to know.

This would make me think less of her, possibly unreasonably.

I would move to smile and nod relationship territory and not pursue any kind of friendship.

To know if I had somehow acted in a way to make her feel as if she should hide something from me.

Not blacked - she's hidden the account so I can't even fint it if I search. Now I'm typing this- that's what actually hurts....she has obviously thought and actively hidden it. Just me. None of our mutual friends.

That means you’re blocked. The only way to “hide” your page and to be unsearchable to certain people is to block them. There’s no other way to hide your account from certain people.

sorry to say- I don’t think you can just hide an account on Instagram, if you search someone and it says user not found but others can view it, it means you’re blocked.

it seems odd- as a previous poster said do you think she’s embarrassed? That’s what I would assume as what other reason would she stop you from seeing it?

I imagine she was nervous of posting in the beginning and wanted to be anonymous without judgement from people she knew. Is she shy in real life?

Maybe she booked you at the start but forgot she had?

Would you not mention it and say, any reason I'm blocked on your XXXX account?

And just ask her.

If you can’t find it on your normal account or it says user not found, you’re blocked.

No, she's not at all.

Oh I'm absolutely blocked! I was just trying to explain it wasn't like it was a private account and I had to request access- I can't even bring it up in a search if I use my personal account.

I'd have to ask. She must guess you'll find out, with friends.

If there's a genuine reason, you'll both feel better for getting it out there.

Mutual

Oh I see haha sorry. My guess is she’s just embarrassed that she’s copied you and so that’s why she doesn’t want you to see it.

Is she posting pictures of your 'work' in whatever this hobby is and passing them off as her own?

Let's just say it was baking. I encouraged her, introduced her to other bakers, took her to competitions, bought her supplies, travelled to support her and opened up a lot of opportunities for her as I was already well connected.

Maybe she just wanted to do this alone and felt that if she told you you might feel the need to help? One person's help can be another person's overbearing?

theres something on it she doesnt want you to see

id create a new instagram acc and look for it

I would ask her. Not jumping to conclusions but more 'someone mentioned about your bakery page, is there something I've done that made you feel you couldn't share it with me? I would hate for you to think that, I love we share this hobby' or whatever.

I wouldn't ignore it and let it fester because it will definitely affect your relationship. There may be a legitimate reason but only she will be able to explain it.

This is probably tje route I'm going to take. I just feel a bit awkward.

No that couldn't be done.

Have you had a look through her posts, particularly the early ones, and see if there's anything that she may have wanted to hide from you? That may give you some idea of why, before you ask her. I'd be a bit put out in your shoes too OP.