To think brother in law doesn’t like me?

[BillieinBerlin]

Hes married to my sister and I’ve known him since I was a teenager and I’m 30 now. I’m close to my sister but I realised he’s never interested in any part of my life.

For example in the last year I’ve got a new job and a new house which he’s never mentioned. I was in a car accident the day before visiting my sister so had to cancel, I saw her the next week and he said nothing. I also came back from a month in Brazil, he never even asked how it was.

Im not saying I need full investment but surely significant things would get a mention? I’d ask him about his new job if he got one etc

I feel like it’s because he doesn’t like me, even a colleague would ask if you had a nice holiday.

He sounds awful.
I hope he's nicer to your sister..

Why do you need him to be so invested in what happens to you? Are the husbands/wives of all your other relatives enquiring about your life and he's the only one not?

Maybe slightly jealous? You say you spent a month in Brazil, maybe a jealousy thing or maybe of how close you and your sister are? Don't let him bother you, life's too short to worry what others think and that's something I've only just realised.

My sister in law is same. You can't win sometimes. It's unpleasant. I chose to stop having anything to do with them and use my time more wisely around people with manners 🤷‍♀️

Is your sister a chatterer?! could it be because he already knows everything ? We don’t always have much news to share in my family as my mum tends to get in first and fills everybody in. Maybe she fills him in after every visit/ phone call and he doesn’t want to hear the ‘Brazil story’ twice? Is he chatty in general to other people? Does he snarl when you walk in?!😁

There is no Brazil story. I didn’t ring my sister up every single day I was there and told her every detail - other peoples holidays are boring.

All I’m saying is you’d think he’d say “how was Brazil?”

Lots of people are just self obsessed. He might be one of them, it doesn't mean he doesn't like you especially.

Some people are just like that, it's not personal.

It was my DS's birthday yesterday and you would have thought some of my siblings would remember and even just send a text...nope. (Yes, I do remember all their birthdays)

I'm so sorry, @Shellsbelles , I'd rather people forgot my birthday than my kids'..

It's ok to not like your in-laws. I don't particularly like mine.
Plus maybe he just doesn't like to chat.
Or maybe he genuinely isn't interested. Which is ok.
As Long as he isn't rude to you it should be fine.

there is no Brazil story
So why on Earth are you drawing the conclusion he doesn't like you from the fact he didn't ask about something you don't actually feel merits talking about? Do you just like ticking boxes and going through the motions? Were you hoping it would go something like this:
"How was Brazil?"
"I went. I came back."
"Did you see anything?"
"No."
I try not to have conversations with people like this either, too many awkward silences. YABU.

@PeekabooAtTheZoo why did es there have to be a story? People don't answer 'I went, I came back'! They say more on the lines of 'it was great! Horrible airport though - we were pulled aside and had a real grilling! But the X rainforest was fascinating and the food a real surprise- I'll make Y dish for you guys next time you're over....' and hopefully the listener will ask for details and share their own experiences- you know, a conversation!

Did you break you back with that reach?

Mumsnet really is the pits.