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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sick of polarised opinions on parenting?

11 replies

FuschiaEmerald · 11/11/2022 11:02

Facebook posts, Instagram and Mumsnet threads, the opinions shared about parenting these days are so polarised, it’s impossible to be able to take any advice.

Take the sleep issue for example. You get the Cry-It-Outers going up against the Co-Sleepers.

Behavioural issues – you get the Disciplinarians going up against the Emotion Coachers.

When my children kick off in public and I get dirty looks, I never know whether people are judging me for not gripping my child and telling them off or for not understanding their emotional needs.

On Facebook posts, the Boomers come out in force. Childcare too expensive? Shouldn’t have had kids then. Child crying on an airplane? They didn’t in my day, just give them a wallop. Kids are too soft these days, health and safety gone mad, wokeism is ruining our children.

On Instagram you seem to get the other side of the coin. Everywhere you look there are Conscious Parenting Coaches or Gentle Parenting Coaches preaching to all the cruel parents that they should never have to shout at their kids. Parents greedily over-analysing and amplifying any potential neuro-diverse behaviour or non-cisgender trait.

And as for Mumsnet - through all the judging, judging, judging, who is actually really there for each other? Mumsnet is supposed to be a place where we can collectively take a breath and encourage and support those going through the mad journey that is motherhood. Not villianise others for making choices different to our own. I guarantee that as a result of this post I will get at least one person picking apart an element of what I have said which they don't agree with to slam me down, entirely missing the point.

We are all doing our best. Let’s break the chain and give each other a break.

OP posts:
x2boys · 11/11/2022 11:04

Probably best to come off social media tbh.

MolliciousIntent · 11/11/2022 11:05

I'm gonna add to your rage by saying I fucking HATE the "we're all just doing our best, cut some slack" messaging.

A vast number of people aren't doing their best at all. I'm surrounded by families in which the parents are doing the bare fucking minimum and then posting "mums are superheroes" all over social media.

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/11/2022 11:06

Maybe don’t read it?

Brefugee · 11/11/2022 11:07

don't read the comments then.
Nice dig at the "boomers" MN ageism never fails to annoy.

Teadrinkingmumofone · 11/11/2022 11:32

What is the point of your post? Nobody should have any opinions?
I suggest you get off social media or at least unfollow these people who seemingly irritate you
What you think people might think about your parenting probably says more about you than them.

Fairislefandango · 11/11/2022 11:37

A vast number of people aren't doing their best at all. I'm surrounded by families in which the parents are doing the bare fucking minimum and then posting "mums are superheroes" all over social media.

Absolutely. It's simply not true that people are all doing their best. That's never true anywhere. About anything.

Echobelly · 11/11/2022 11:40

Yes, but then what would some people do with their time? 😜

I agree, people are just muddling through and different things work for different kids and parents. I got pretty lucky with my kids, relatively few challenges so I consider myself fairly ill qualified to advise anyone on what to do.

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/11/2022 11:40

If you want “u do u hun” interactions I’m sure there are other places you can go. They won’t give you advice if that’s what you’re actually after though.

And not everyone is doing their best and not all mums know best, are you very naive or just being goady?

bringincrazyback · 11/11/2022 11:41

On Facebook posts, the Boomers come out in force. Childcare too expensive? Shouldn’t have had kids then. Child crying on an airplane? They didn’t in my day, just give them a wallop. Kids are too soft these days, health and safety gone mad, wokeism is ruining our children.

Those are not specifically 'boomer' sentiments, OP, but I don't feel I'm missing the point of your post generally, and I do agree with you about the levels of judgement on MN, it's dreadful.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 11/11/2022 11:43

OP do you see the irony that you’re actually perpetuating all this with your post?

Can’t say I’ve ever had a dirty look when my kids tantrum. Most people know this is what kids do.

Mumsnet is supposed to be a place where we can collectively take a breath and encourage and support those going through the mad journey that is motherhood

Is it?!

I really hate this idea that MN is a happy jolly Kum-By-Ya place of supporting the sisterhood rather than actually what is is - a discussion forum where people can talk about whatever they fancy. This is the real world. Not everyone will agree with you. Not everyone will think all your decisions are fantastic.

woodenstick · 11/11/2022 11:44

What is the point in this post? 😂 people are not allowed to have different parenting styles? Or opinions? Facts of life include people being judgmental and criticising. Scroll past instead of winding yourself up.

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