To have told DH I want to spend time as a family this weekend?

[pawali6450]

Me and DH have been together 10 years, married for 8 and we have a 2.5 year old together.

He is very close with his family, which I have no problem with. He spends a lot of time with his nephew as his dad is no longer involved, and with BIL. They go to the football together etc, he says its because nephew suffers with his mental health so if he doesn't he might feel ignored which I don't understand as we also see him on a Sunday at MIL’s. We never spend time with just the 3 of us, as he is also a teacher so he says he's tired in half terms, or we go on holiday with BIL&SIL and nephews to see FIL. Even in the summer holidays, we had planned a day out to a theme park and DH told nephew and then he wanted to come so we ended up taking him with us, along with BIL and younger nephew (we suggested taking just younger nephew as it wouldn't have been fair him being left out, then BIL mentioned how we shouldn't have been left with 3 DC’s, when 2 of them aren't our own.

This morning, I asked if he could stay at home this Saturday so the 3 of us could spend time alone together, he said he'll think about it but now I'm wondering was I BU?

Of course you weren't. Why are you even questioning yourself?

Your husband would rather see himself as some sort of saviour/mentor to his nephew than spend time with his wife and child. Of course you are not being unreasonable!

YANBU. Sounds like you have zero time out together just as your little family. Just wondering, is your DC a boy or a girl? He seems very invested into nephews life

He’ll “think about it”? Wow.

I think I might have replied along the lines of “and I’ll think about how little you seem to prioritise your own wife and child, arsehole”.

In certain cultures first born men are like this. Or if he's the only well off one. It's a big responsibility on his shoulder to be a father to others.

Tell him you need to have a serious convo about the well being of your family and put it to him that you should be his no1 priority.

She's a girl.

He'll think about it??? What did you say to that. Honestly I'd be booking myself a spa day and off I'd go leaving him to it on Saturday if he said that to me. He has a family,- his own family now. Is he going to do this once your daughter is more aware I.e age 4/5 upwards? Oh sorry daughter if you want to see me it's with my nephew too we come as a package. Ridiculous.

I didn't really say anything as DH then went out to work. DD and nephew are close and she adores him and I don't mind DH spending time with him/him tagging along with us occasionally but I do think DH should spend time with me and DD with just the 3 of us.

YABU on the basis it is Mothering Sunday not Mothers Day.

As for the rest your MIL can do one

Soz, wrong thread!