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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unplanned surprise pregnancy

37 replies

tildapazz · 10/11/2022 21:41

Evening all!
This is long and complicated so bare with .. I split with my husband start off the year and started seeing a new man come spring things had been going well with us fast forward to now I find myself pregnant (5 weeks) I already have 3 children (11,10,7)
My sister has had 4 early miscarriages so I was honestly dreading telling her as I know the hurt it will cause iv told her and she's not speaking to me I never planned this and would never of intentionally hurt her.
My mum is trying to stay in the middle but I can tell she is swaying towards me having an abortion as my sister is so upset. My partner would like me to keep but we are long distance so he wouldn't see baby as much as he would like.
To make things more complicated my ex husband is still very present in my life as we ended on good terms so he is around a lot for the kids.
I want to keep this baby as I feel this is my last chance to ever have another and it's my baby 😓 .. but I feel I can't as the upset it will bring my sister also the thought of being a single mum to 4 is nerv wracking but I'm sure I would be fine! Millions are!

Sorry for the long post but does anyone have any advice xx

OP posts:
shimmeringspice · 10/11/2022 22:22

Tabitha888 · 10/11/2022 22:18

Girl firstly congratulations

You do what's right for you it's your body and your baby. It comes across that you want to keep the baby, rocking a successful business and raising 4 superheroes. Ignore the jealous haters 💋

😂

PhoebeTheBride · 10/11/2022 22:22

Tabitha888 · 10/11/2022 22:18

Girl firstly congratulations

You do what's right for you it's your body and your baby. It comes across that you want to keep the baby, rocking a successful business and raising 4 superheroes. Ignore the jealous haters 💋

netmums is leaking

3peassuit · 10/11/2022 22:23

Take everyone else out of the equation and decide what is best for you.

CuteCillian · 10/11/2022 22:25

3peassuit · 10/11/2022 22:23

Take everyone else out of the equation and decide what is best for you.

I think your three existing DC need to be the biggest consideration in this decision.

Sewfedupofcovid · 10/11/2022 22:28

Your baby, your decision, hard for her but it’s not her life. 💐💐💐

Original poster
tildapazz · 10/11/2022 22:30

My sister still lives at home ( renovating her house) which is why my mum is swaying to me having an abortion as she said my sister is crying and saying she doesn't wana be here I feel I really have no choice in the matter 😓 I lose my sister or my baby x

OP posts:
waldorjs · 10/11/2022 22:33

tildapazz · 10/11/2022 22:30

My sister still lives at home ( renovating her house) which is why my mum is swaying to me having an abortion as she said my sister is crying and saying she doesn't wana be here I feel I really have no choice in the matter 😓 I lose my sister or my baby x

I wouldn't want a sister who guilted me into an unwanted abortion 🤷‍♀️

HerMajestysRoyalCoven · 10/11/2022 22:39

Tabitha888 · 10/11/2022 22:18

Girl firstly congratulations

You do what's right for you it's your body and your baby. It comes across that you want to keep the baby, rocking a successful business and raising 4 superheroes. Ignore the jealous haters 💋

Are you part of an MLM by any chance?

HerMajestysRoyalCoven · 10/11/2022 22:43

tildapazz · 10/11/2022 22:30

My sister still lives at home ( renovating her house) which is why my mum is swaying to me having an abortion as she said my sister is crying and saying she doesn't wana be here I feel I really have no choice in the matter 😓 I lose my sister or my baby x

Are you all 12? This sounds like an episode of a teen drama.

You need to focus on your children and ignore all of this. Your sister has to take ownership of her feelings. It will do her no favours for you to have an abortion because of her - if anything it’ll only make her feel wracked with guilt in years to come. It wasn’t fair on her to tell her but now you have, you have to stop this enmeshment and make your own decision based on your existing children, primarily.

Mamai90 · 10/11/2022 22:44

Littlebluedinosaur · 10/11/2022 21:57

Your sister shouldn’t be a factor in your decision.

This.

And she'd be borderline psychopathic if she wanted you to abort your baby just because she had fertility issues.

tillytown · 10/11/2022 22:56

Your sister isn't important in this decision, if you want the baby, keep it.
I'd be more concerned about the father wanting the baby, but not actually being around to help raise it. Does he have plans in place to move closer so he can be a part of his child life? Or is he assuming you and your other children will do everything by yourselves

NadjaCravensworth · 10/11/2022 23:13

Tabitha888 · 10/11/2022 22:18

Girl firstly congratulations

You do what's right for you it's your body and your baby. It comes across that you want to keep the baby, rocking a successful business and raising 4 superheroes. Ignore the jealous haters 💋

Who are the jealous haters?

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