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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mum refuses to make a will...

2 replies

DoNotWorryBeHappy · 10/11/2022 21:05

My elderly mum is refusing to make a will. She only has a very modest property in rural Portugal, which presumably in Portuguese law would be split equally between her adult children when she dies intestate (she has previously said a fair split was her wish) But without a will, I imagine this could involve a lot of faffing which would fall to the sibling with language skills (not me!).
She is being looked after 24 hours a day by us in turn, with an entrenched sense of entitlement and a rather nasty attitude when it's suggested it would be good to get the will written down. I feel that her intransigence at this stage (unlikely to see Christmas) is silly, but appreciate her feeling that admitting mortality is the last straw.
Does anyone have experience of this sensitive situation?
For clarity, my share of the most inheritance would make little difference to my financial situation, but a lot to my siblings. I'm not being mercenary, just trying to formalise a situation that could get pretty miserable at a difficult time.
Thanks for any advice xx

OP posts:
kiwigeekmum · 10/11/2022 23:10

So she wants an equal split between her children? You are aware of this, are your siblings? Is there are reason that you fear her intention wouldn't be honoured? I'm not sure a will is necessary if the default/usual outcome is the same as her preference, but I'm not an expert in wills so not really qualified to comment.

MacarenaMacarena · 10/11/2022 23:40

Thank you for your reply.
Yes, in the past she's said an equal split was what she wanted.
Nothing too complicated that needs writing into a will really, and not a lot of money involved.
Just likely to be masses of hard to deal with Portuguese paperwork if not written down.
She seems to think it's a personal assault and insult to suggest writing a will... Very much resisting any engagement.
I don't even know if she wants a burial or cremation! Or if she wants any trinkets to go to any special friends... Or how to prove her ownership of her cottage.
Makes me keen to ensure my own wishes are written down officially and in good time, before I go bonkers!

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