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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Re: Ex and hygiene of our DC

7 replies

AreolaGrande · 10/11/2022 20:51

Ex is a highly educated, neurotypical adult with a good career. Generally a great dad. We do 50/50 and mostly co-parent really well.

However........

He took DS (8) to sports training tonight and told me by text afterwards that DS was a sweaty mess when it finished. I then asked if DS had had a shower and Ex responded no, it hadn't occurred to him to shower the sweaty 8 year old and it was now too late as he's in bed.

DS has swimming tomorrow so will be going with tonight's footy sweat on him. He's only 8 so not yet whiffy but still, it's just so bizarre to me that it didn't occur to him to clean the sweaty child?

Before anyone says it was odd for me to ask about the showering, it's an ongoing issue where if I don't remind/pester/nag he won't do it. If I didn't it would be max once a week at his house.

His own hygiene is questionable (since we split and especially since covid/wfh). His partner deals with laundry (🙄) so kids are always in clean uniform and definitely do not smell. They shower every day they're at mine.

Eurgh. Not normal is it?

This is the same Ex who left a 13 year old with waist length, super thick hair to apply her OWN nit lotion and then wondered why it didn't work.

GIVE ME STRENGTH. And wine.

OP posts:
bottomsup33 · 10/11/2022 20:53

Meh. It's not the end of the world. Admittedly my dc always shower or bath at night especially if they've had sports practice but it's really not the end of the world if they miss it for one night. He's going swimming tomorrow and you said yourself he doesn't smell yet. I wouldn't be getting this worked up about it. When my dc comes back from his dads having not brushed his teeth all weekend however...Envy

AreolaGrande · 10/11/2022 21:07

Oh I'm not "this worked up about it", believe me. I've let it slide with Ex as I have learned over the last 6 years which battles are worth fighting and which aren't!

I just needed a wee rant on here into the void while I drink a glass of wine. Hoping that other MNers might have similar tales of feckless exes.

🤢 at the teeth brushing.

OP posts:
MuggleMe · 10/11/2022 21:09

Not ideal, can ds shower in the morning?

Lilithslove · 10/11/2022 21:14

13 year old dsd could definitely apply her own nit lotion. I don't think its that odd to expect a 13 year old to manage something like that themselves.

Not showering the 8 year is a bit grim but it won't do him any harm. Unlike the not teeth cleaning @bottomsup33@bottomsup33

Lilithslove · 10/11/2022 21:16

Sorry pressed send too soon.
I wss going to say to @bottomsup33 that she should put her foot down about that. Is your child old enough to remember to do it themselves?

AreolaGrande · 10/11/2022 21:18

No Muggle he gets DS up at the exact latest time possible that allows for getting dressed, brushing teeth, grabbing breakfast and getting out the door.

He lets DD get herself up and make her own brew and brekkie so that he can have extra time in bed as he usually stays up late most nights gaming.

Safe to say our parenting styles are somewhat different.

🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
AreolaGrande · 10/11/2022 21:23

Mine couldn't @Lilithslove . He gave her a small bottle that didn't even have enough product to saturate her hair. He didn't check/comb it after or do any conditioner combing in the following days. Lice were HOPPING off her when I picked her up. Took me almost two weeks of repeated lotions/combing to get rid of them and cost me a fortune.

OP posts:
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