Grief vampires when somebody dies..

[GriefVampires]

A young man in my area sadly took his own life. I didn't know him personally but knew who he was through friends so saw the posts.

Anyway, as is usually the case when something tragic becomes public knowledge there has been an out pouring of R.I.P posts on Facebook.

The thing that doesn't sit right with me is how some people who barely knew him (and are saying as much) are going on as though they'd lost a close friend or relative.

Devastated, heartbroken to hear the news etc, long winded statuses drawing reference to the time that they supposedly felt suicidal.

My mind goes immediately to a particular person I know who tries to insert themselves into every tragic event and loss of life and uses social media to garner attentin about it. As predicted she's put a status up about this young man.

She doesn't know him, she's had a drink with his half sister a handful of times years and years ago.

AIBU to think that actually this is pretty damn disrespectful?

I do think it's distasteful and unpleasant. But I wouldn't assume everyone who seems upset about the misfortune of a near-stranger is insincere. Some people imagine what it would be like if it happened to them. They imagine it deeply and get very upset.

My late MIL used to cry over things she read in the papers, and she got very worked up just hearing that, say, a neighbour's young niece had died.

Isn't it like crying at a sad film?

My Dad died very suddenly and unexpectedly when I was 15, way back in 1989.
The very morning after his death, a woman turned up at our door - she was actually wailing with grief. My poor Mum, only 44 at the time, invited her in and made her a cup of tea.
It turned out that this woman worked in the same office block as my Dad, although had no direct dealings with him.
I remember her sitting in our living room for hours, wailing about how much she was going to miss him at work.
Bizarrely, as my mum's friends heard the news, and started to come round to visit, this woman was still taking centre stage in my mum's front room.

30-odd years later, my mum and I still remember this. It was utterly surreal, how my mum was cornered into comforting this vaguely unknown colleague.

I think that’s different really. I cry privately at news stories sometimes, especially if it involves child deaths/cruelty.

But it’s the “grief thief” element which is problematic, trying to take ownership of the death or seeking attention out of what has happened.