Neighbour and my dog

[Neighboursanddogs]

I have a lovely 6mo springer. Training going well in general but she’s still too excitable around strangers, other dog walkers etc. We’ve been working on this, praising her when she walks calmly past strangers and other dogs and she’s
much improved.

Today we left for a dog walk. I could see my neighbour (who I don’t really know bar a quick hello) walking up the road, so stopped at the bottom of the drive to let him walk past first. He spotted the dog and came over so I said ‘Sorry we’re trying to stop her showing attention to strangers’. He ignored me, came over regardless and started fussing DDog who then became very excited and started jumping at him. He then started shouting NO in her face, trying to get her to sit, which just worked her up even more.

I pulled her away and tried to walk off with her down the road, saying ‘She’ll calm down once you stop fussing her’.

He followed me, ranting that I need to be firmer with her and that I wasn’t disciplining her properly. I lost it and snapped ‘She’ll be absolutely fine once you stop following us!’

He then got into his car and DDog was very good on the rest of the walk, but I know things are going to be quite awkward with my neighbour now!

Am I in the wrong here? I wouldn’t approach somebody else’s dog if asked not to!

Nope, he was being a dick.

Unless you specifically said "I'm training her, please don't approach as you'll disrupt it" how was he to know that's what you meant?

He was out of order telling you how to train your dog after that initial encounter though.

As I said I was trying to stop her interacting with strangers I put my palm up as a kind of ‘please stay away’ gesture, it was clear what i meant in the moment. Plus the fact I stopped when I saw him and kept her back so he could walk past.

I have a young, excitable dog who we are training to be calm around people and other dogs the same way as you. It's amazing how many men I've encountered who seem to think that they know more about how I should be training my animal than I do

@MrsBobBlackadder its very hard to do when so many members of the public just walk over and start roughing her up without warning. They’re then horrified when she gets excited and jumps up, muddy paws everywhere! I always tell people not to approach but sometimes they do it in a split second before you can stop them (like today). It’s infuriating!

Oh I have a golden retriever puppy and it is so difficult isn't it! Every one comes over and completely ignores me when I say "we are trying to get her used to ignoring strangers". I've started just stating "she will jump up and chew on you" so they know what's coming

It is - and I feel your pain. There is one (ignorant) chap around here who has twice brought his dog over to us on a walk to 'introduce' him to my boy, despite me calling to him that my dog was reactive. Last time I stomped off and called him a twat

Just tell people she will bite them. Then they'll keep away

Sorry the vast majority of adults would be able to interpret what the OP said and did as a cue to back off. It wasn't exactly like she asked him to answer these riddles three.

OP shouldn't have to police the footpath to get Mr. Mansplainer to fuck off and stop bothering her and her dog. Her dog isn't a public commodity to be fussed over and approached unless told otherwise.

He was being a twat. If he tries it again, be really firm with the no touching rule and walk away immediately, don’t waste time talking to him, he sounds like an idiot.

YABU for not putting up pictures of baby springer!

I hate this, and adults are so much worse than kids for it!

Chill out and jump off your soapbox, I didn't say her dog was a public commodity 😂no idea why you're going off on one, someone clearly pissed on your chips today!

Yanbu

But can we have a pic??!

You take your lead (excuse me) from the owner unless they are clearly a dick owner whose dog is off lead and out of control.
As well as the possibility of a bite, and the fact that the dog is being trained, so many other reasons for not touching a dog. Rolled in fox poo, a nervous rescue, been a bit vomitty, is one of those little darlings who eats shit - who wants to bend down for a cuddle and get a breath full of that.
It's one of the first lessons I taught my dc - stay back and ask the owner.

Thanks everyone, I hate falling out with anyone let alone a neighbour so wanted to check I wasn’t being the arsehole.

As well as interfering with my dog, he also put my back up with his general ‘mansplaining’ tone and the way he shouted in her face and tried to physically manhandle her into a sitting position. So my tone was pretty nasty when I snapped back. But I don’t feel guilty any more!

He was an arse. I had the same 'mansplaining' when mine was a 6m pup. She was a little wary of men approaching her at being a rescue and he came marching up behind me on the street to 'say hello'. DDog was terrified and hid behind my legs and then barked at him.

He told me off saying I hadn't socialised her well enough and she would be a 'nightmare' in the future. He ran down a list of the things I should be doing. I told him she was perfectly well socialised thank you and he was the first person she'd ever barked at.

He walked off tutting saying all dogs loved him and telling me he would be keeping an eye on me on future.

Never saw the twat again.

YANBU. I always ask permission before talking to a dog (in fact, someone the other day asked me not to, because the dog was nervous) and as far as muddy paws go, I wouldn't talk to a dog if I wasn't prepared for mud or licks.

It's not hard to ask first, is it? I do the same, @sueelleker, & abide by the owner's wishes.

Ignore the mansplaining eejit. He sounds like a twat. And show us a picture of your doggy!!

I would be furious if a stranger, albeit a neighbour, manhandled my dog to try and get them to sit and shouted in their face! How dare he!
My spaniel barks at strangers especially if they stare at her. If they don't make eye contact she will go up to them and sniff and decide if they are worth saying hello to. But people do seem to think they know best 🙄

He sounds like a know it all asshole.

YANBU for telling him to piss off but YABVU for no pictures of dog 😁

I have a feeling that 'man' might be my son, or someone like him. He loves dogs but is sort of frightened of them at the same time. He has Aspergers and would not interpret the palm/flat hand dign as being 'please do not approach'. He also has a compulsion to tell other people what to do!...... rarely a positive trait. Well done you for trying to train your dog, but perhaps the neighbour has some sort of cognitive disability? Not defending him, but maybe there is other 'stuff' going on.

Sorry folks would love to share a photo but I’m paranoid about someone recognising her! She is incredibly cute but that means she gets more public attention!

@Theoldwrinkley he’s 70 odd, so I’m guessing not your son..?