Friends visiting

[Hey65]

Just looking for some advice. Myself and partner are not really getting along. He has invited friends who live about 3 hours away to my house for the weekend, they are a nice couple. Without first asking me. We have a daughter with additional needs. We only have 2 bedrooms, meaning that myself and daughter would have to stay with my parents over the weekend. He has also offered me to entertain the woman. I am feeling low right now and i do not want to entertain guests and tidy my house up for guests. As well as mind daughter myself. I dont mind him going out all weekend. I have tried to speak to him and ask can his friends not stay elsewhere but he got angry with me. I am stressed about it and do not want to let the couple down at such short notice but i also do not want to leave my home whilst they drink in it all weekend. Aibu to say no now or is it too late? Thank you.

I would say he asked them, he needs to be the one to tell them he didn't check first and tell them it's not on now.

Yanbu, he is bloody disrespectful to you and your DC. He can't just make decisions Like this without consulting you on it too. They all need to find some other accommodation. I wouldn't even feel guilty about it, it's his problem to resolve.

Thank you

This is not nice. Does he do this sort of thing a lot? You and your DD shouldn't be leaving your home.

He needs to cancel their visit.

Fuck that. Tell them all to go to a hotel. Am I right in thinking its not even his house? Cheeky bastards the lot of them

Who's house is it?

Is it your house? Does he just stay overnight? Or both your home? I'm confused.

its my home. He would rarely do things like this. Thank you for your responses.

He is in the wrong. I'm not sure if it's your house or both of yours but in any case he can't invite someone without checking - what if you'd also invited another couple without telling him? And assuming you and your daughter would leave is ridiculous - can't your daughter go in with you and your partner for the few nights, or with just you and he sleeps on the couch, or the two visitors do if there's room?

I have tried to speak to him and ask can his friends not stay elsewhere but he got angry with me. He made a mistake/overstepped so he punishes you. Nice guy.

Simple then really, kick him out tell him he can't stay this weekend until he starts respecting you and take away his key.

WTF? No you don't leave so your husband can play at being 18 with his mates. You stay in the house with your child and he grows up or he can leave. Honestly why is "letting the couple down" even part of this equation? What about letting your daughter down by letting her be treated like unwanted baggage by her father? Find your inner tiger.

I would not leave my house to accommodate people who had been invited to it without my permission. Your partner is a CF both for inviting them without asking and then getting angry when you challenges them.

He sounds very disrespectful, you need to make a stand about this if you are going to continue the relationship or he will continue to disregard your feelings.

Tell him he will have to make other arrangements for his friends because they are not staying at your house. Do not apologise for how this may inconvenience him and do not be bullied by him, he got himself into the mess, he can get himself out.

When you say it's your home, do you mean rented or mortgage solely in your name? Does he contribute?

If not tell him to piss off.

Take daughter to your MUm's for the weekend.

Do not clean or tidy the house, change beds etc before they arrive. DH can do that.

If they leave a mess, stay at Mum's until DH cleans up.

I think OP shouldn't be turned out of her own home, especially when she is low.

Tell him they can't come OP. Don't apologise, don't explain.

He has 2 choices,

Either he tells the couple that they will need to arrange other accommodation and then sorts all the cleaning etc for when they 'visit', and you can decide whether or not you want to/are free to 'keep the woman amused' ?

OR

He can fuck off out of YOUR house and find both them AND himself another place to stay for their 'visit' !

If it’s your house (as in you own it or are the sole person on the rental lease) then tell him to do one.

Don’t allow yourself to be disrespected.

I think I’d be re-evaluating the relationship if someone treated me like that.

Text or ring the couple and tell them there has been miscommunication and it's not possible for them to come and stay. This should of course come from your partner, but needs must as he client going to do it.

Then take steps to get rid of him. Change the locks if need be. But act in the certain knowledge that this relationship is not going to get any better, and you'll be better off without him.

He cannot instruct you on exactly how to spend your weekend, expect you to entertain someone and to leave your home to accommodate them. Does he live in an alternative universe? No way should you agree to this. Tell him to rent a hotel room for them, where they can all get pissed and leave you and your DD in peace. Honestly

Thank you all for your comments. They have been very helpful. For those asking, the house is rented in my name but he does pay towards bills.

What have you decided to do, OP?

It's your home? Even if it was joint, it's fucking rude to invite anyone to stay without checking with you first. And if he asks them, he has to work out where everyone is sleeping. He should be inconvenienced - not you or dd. Cheeky git. I'd tell him to uninvite them.

Don't leave your home.
Don't give your bedroom over to these people.
Don't offer your child's room either.
Buy no food or drink in.
Don't prepare an airbed or the couch or anywhere else for them to sleep.

Make it plain to your P that this is his problem to deal with.