Co sleeping

[Str3bor]

My BF wants me to move in but still co-sleeps with his 2 children, son age 6 and daughter age 8 and expects me to sleep in one of their beds on the nights he has them so he can continue his co-sleeping. I don’t want to move in on the basis that I won’t even have my own bed or bedroom and have to move out of his/my bed to accommodate it, am I being unreasonable? Should I just be accepting of this situation?

I might aswell just stay in my own home with my own bed then and save all the hassle lol

No but she won't be sleeping in the same bed as her partner when the kids are there 50% of the time. Therefore it will have an impact on her whichever way you look at it.

Watch out, some people on here coslept with their kids until they were 11…! Downright weird if you ask me…

I would if I were you.

each to their own but I don’t think it’s right for older kids which is why my kids don’t sleep with me, the occasional time is ok but I want to teach my kids independence.

I don’t know if this an step too far but I also think it’s weird with dads and older girls and the way men’s parts can erm change in the night/morning, do they cuddle their children like this? I can’t get that inappropriately thought out of my head!

Irrespective being moved out of our own bed isn’t a reasonable request. In order to co-sleep he’s expecting OP to facilitate it in some way. What works in a bio family isn’t always true of a blended family.

@RambamThankyouMam So you would be scared to let your partner/ husband sleep in the same bed as your child? that's weird how can you be with someone who you can't trust

I can’t say I think there’s anything wrong with co-sleeping with older kids. Or dating someone with primary age kids as a pp suggested. But I do think you should never trust a man who would happily try and kick you out of your own bed!

Why not just carry on as you are now, you don't have to move in but can still enjoy good times with the man.

What’s the point when there is no future or we can’t move forward

I agree with you, it’s really weird that a dad sleeps with his 6 year old DS and 8 year old DD 50% of the time, yuk. I would be tapping out of the relationship if it was me, the fact he has asked you to move in is laughable!!

Why can't you just wait a year or two to move in together?

So I told him I wasn’t willing to move in on this basis and it turned into a bit of an argument, I told him his kids are old enough to sleep in their own beds, his response was don’t talk about my kids like that, he is making me feel like I’m being totally unreasonable and I don’t think I am and I don’t know what to say to him to see my point.

Might have been better and less inflammatory to keep your comments to how moving in together wouldn’t suit any of you at the moment rather than criticising his parenting. But given that you have it sounds like you might be going your separate ways.

Well stop thinking that. Not all men are obvious about such things. There's nothing wrong with children sleeping with one or both parents but it isn't going to last.

Op it is clear that now is not the right time to be moving in with this man so just carry on as you are.

there was actually more of a conversation than that, we parent very differently so I’m very mindful of the things I say as we both have different opinions which is fine and its up to him how he wants to parent his kids. If he wants to sleep with them that is also up to him but I suppose I don’t want to be brought into a situation where I am bed hopping so I think unless he goes and sleeps in his daughters bed to continue the co-sleeping then we are best to just stay as we are.