To think this is real adult ADHD and not part of a trend

[ReadyTeddyGoooo]

I'm 35 and I've had anxiety since childhood. Over the years, I've had times where it has been extremely complex and debilitating. I've had both NHS and private therapy and been on meds for a long time. I have severe health anxiety linked to ocd. I have a panic disorder and have also had pnd twice.

My 4 year old son is going through the assessment process for adhd. Since researching it for him, I've discovered that I could also have it. Obviously it's highly hereditary so it would make sense.

However, since exploring adhd, it seeks to have become over saturised on social media it seems and could almost be seen as a trend. There seems to be a lot if people getting diagnosed and it makes me wonder, do this number of people actually have adhd?

I had an appointment with a psychiatrist coming up primarily for my anxiety problems but I do also want to talk about adhd with her. But don't want her to think that I'm just jumping on the bandwagon with it.

I feel I do have adhd because...
I'm terrible at time keeping and I'm always running late.
My house is chaotic. There's little order and I lose things all the time.
I can be quite reckless in some ways, e.g. parking where I shouldn't and getting fines.
I leave everything to the last minute. Especially things that seem too overwhelming. Even my wedding - it was somewhat a rushed job.
I find big shops snd supermarkets very overwhelming. If there's too much choice and things to look at, I just flounder.
I have mind chatter and songs plating in my head a lot! Constant ideas too. I dart from one thing to the next.
I rarely finish projects.
I've never been great at reading books, I feel like I don't have the patience.

Does this sound like proper adult ashd?

Well you clearly are ill informed. Ritalin is a stimulant but ADHD brains are UNDERstimulated (low dopamine) so Ritalin and other meds merely bring the ADHD brain up to a normal level. Hyperactivity is the body trying to counteract the low stimulation.

Your views are biased and ill-informed.

I suggest we stop feeding those trying to derail the debate, they clearly have some learning to do. I cannot believe people are denying that ADHD exists, that’s utterly ridiculous!

OP, any anyone else reading, don’t be dissuaded if you think you have ADHD it is ok to seek diagnosis. A qualified GMC registered psychiatrist actually knows what they are talking about (unlike some). If you are concerned about it, it is clearly affecting your life and ADHD burnout from years of masking is indeed a thing.

Wishing you well.

ADHD brains are UNDERstimulated (low dopamine) so Ritalin and other meds merely bring the ADHD brain up to a normal level. Hyperactivity is the body trying to counteract the low stimulation

This is interesting, i didn't know this. Is dopamine testing part of the diagnostic process?

@allthecrooksandnannies why??

I have adhd as do 3 of my 4 kids. Knowing I have it has made me more forgiving of myself and looking at ways of working with and not against my brain.

I also talk to my kids differently and look at ways of gamifying and not blaming them. They/I am not lazy. We are all high achievers and work very hard but have issues with starting and completing some tasks. It is debilitating.

Timers, bite sized lists and not blaming/guilt have really helped.

@thepurplewhisperer 100% this! I've been like it since a child. Ironically I'm a primary school teacher who doesn't like reading (for myself).
Totally get what you mean about multi tasking it.

@Curtayne I wonder if going through pregnancy could exacerbate adhd? One because of the hormone changes and two because of the dramatic change in lifestyle. What do you think?

@ReadyTeddyGoooo well, just as we have seen on this thread at times and on other threads on MN recently people are quick to say ADHD doesn’t exist, it’s over diagnosed, your symptoms aren’t actually ADHD but normal for everyone or just part of your personality. To hear/read this even from strangers online is triggering so to hear it from family/friends (even if not meant to be hurtful) would be really difficult. It’s just my personal advice - I have only told my husband about my diagnosis. If you told a friend you had been diagnosed with asthma they would just accept it but with ADHD it’s different.

Can I ask how you find being a teacher with ADHD? It’s one thing I’d love to do but tbh I have written myself off as being capable.

This is a known phenomenon. Women with ADHD can be very hormone sensitive. I'm partly treating mine with HRT. Perimenopause was fucking me up in the same way post-pregnancy did.

We also tend to keep the plates spinning better until parenting brings it all crashing down. I relied on hyperfocus to get through life. Very hard to hyperfocus with a baby to look after.

It's quite triggering to read these post about over diagnosis from the ignorant. My DS was dx with ADHD back in 1997 before it was trendy. The first consultant told us his issues were down to bad parenting and a father who worked shifts. That he was the 3rd of 4 dc and it didn't affect the others wasn't considered.

We managed by pure luck to find a qualified child psychiatrist who after one conversation with him recognised he had it, but still went through the whole assessment process.

I was dx myself in 2016 in my 50s. It explains a lot. Taking the meds for the first time and being able to turn off the racing in my brain was amazing.

As someone who was diagnosed with adhd at 52 and I also have two children diagnosed (all three of us separate clinics to ensure fresh slate with each assessment) I am delighted when I read all the opposing views about adhd not being real etc. why? Because we really need to raise the profile of adhd as it is underdiagnosed specially in women and as much stuff that appears on the internet as possible whether true or false means people are talking about adhd and hopefully more people will recognise the traits in themselves and loved ones and get support.
the nice guidelines say it’s underdiagnosed in women not me:
injury. [2018]

1.2.2 Be aware that ADHD is thought to be under-recognised in girls and women and that:

they are less likely to be referred for assessment for ADHD

they may be more likely to have undiagnosed ADHD

they may be more likely to receive an incorrect diagnosis of another mental health or neurodevelopmental condition. [2018]

Link to nice report on adhd
www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng87/chapter/Recommendations#recognition-identification-and-referral

Can I ask how you find being a teacher with ADHD? It’s one thing I’d love to do but tbh I have written myself off as being capable.

I wouldn't recommend teaching ATM because it's so high stress I don't think it's comparable with good mental health in nt people, let alone neurodiverse.

It's a shame because Nd people are sometimes in the best position to understand the conditions and are less willing to write them off.

My own experience was I was great with the creativity, child, teaching side, but got overwhelmed with paperwork and politics.

That said, I think there are a lot of Nd teachers, because it's a profession where you can channel your strengths in normal circumstances and good for those who run on adrenaline.
But it's a very different profession at the moment and I point blank wouldn't recommend it to anyone in good conscience.

Too right! Infertility treatment is also very intense when you have ADHD due to the hormone sensitivity. Women often report their symptoms worsen at certain parts of the cycle.

Can I ask how you find being a teacher with ADHD? It’s one thing I’d love to do but tbh I have written myself off as being capable.

I used to teach English as a foreign language for a private language school (non English speaking country) and I loved it, meeting all those different people and tailoring material to their abilities, interests etc. Devising games and explanations and work schedules. The kids classes were equal parts torturous and incredible.

It's a brilliant job but I'm not sure I'd cope in a school with a class of 30 kids! My behaviour management is no use and the paperwork scares the crap out of me. So even though DH keeps urging me to look into QTS I don't think it's for me. If we come back to the UK though I'm thinking of looking into being a TA for kids with EAL.

@ReadyTeddyGoooo Honestly, don’t worry about it being a trend on social media. ADHD might be having an awareness moment but that’s great – just think how much less we’d have had to struggle if it had happened and we’d been diagnosed and supported sooner. I think we know, deep down, if our struggles are normal or not. Life shouldn’t be that much of a challenge.

Imposter syndrome is a big thing in women with ADHD – we’ve spent all our lives thinking our struggles are personal failings, especially when neurotypical people say they also find things those difficult. But there’s finding things difficult and then there’s drowning from constantly feeling so incapable of those things and them impacting your life. I suspected for years that I might have it and finally arranged assessment and got a diagnosis, which was hugely validating, but even now I sometimes wonder if they were wrong and I’m actually just shit – I guess there’s almost 40 years of feeling like this to unpack and reframe!

If you have the opportunity to talk to your psychiatrist about it, please do. But if she’s dismissive, find a professional who will take your concern seriously.

NHS waiting times for assessment can be LONG, so google “ADHD Right to Choose” as it may be a quicker route. Your GP would still need to refer you for assessment but it’s to a private organisation who does the diagnosis then works with you to get treatment stabilised before passing you back to the NHS for ongoing care. You would only pay your normal prescription rate for any medication.

I hope your son’s assessment goes well and he gets the support he needs!

Why is that?

@Schmeeeee I’ve answered that upthread

I’m interested to know how you get diagnosed please? Is it a questionnaire the Dr does with you or are there written tests you have to do or physical tasks? Or even brain scans? I really have no idea.

Is ADHD different from being on some level autistic? Or do they often go hand in hand?

I had a private diagnosis that involved me to fill out several questionnaires and provide examples of how adhd effected my childhood, early adulthood and adult like. Both life in general and work. I had to have my mum fill out a form on my behaviour and symptoms during childhood (often they will ask for childhood school reports) and I had to have my husband (or someone close to you) complete a questionnaire as well. Then I had a 3hr interview type call where I was asked questions and we discussed my answers to the forms I sent through. I was then given a rating for each and diagnosed with combined type adhd.

I was surprised at the combined diagnosis as I wouldn't necessarily have thought I was 'hyperactive' - only 'inattentive', but the hyperactivity is more of the mind. I realise after looking back on things, it presents itself in me as things like having the urge to get up from my desk and go make a coffee, or have a walk around, organising things on my desk, fidgeting, constantly picking up my phone, etc. Definitely not spinning around on my office chair until I felt sick or anything like that 😂

"I do find it interesting that the cases of ADHD/ADD/ODD shot up as soon as proper discipline fell out of favour. I wanted to comment on that but figured I'd be pilloried for it. However I will say the correlation is interesting."

I was regularly beaten as a child for constantly losing my things etc. My parents definitely seemed to believe that I was "defiant" and just needed "more discipline" to force me to be better.
Ironically they were both teachers. But they didn't believe in ADHD in their students either - they privately thought they were "just badly behaved"

Actually, it sort of worked. I was never able to function as well as a "normal" child but the constant threat of violence did help me develop some coping strategies and I left school with decent grades.

However the ADHD wasn't "cured" it was just hiding. And it's not fun. I'm that person who turns up to work late, unwashed, not having eaten for 24 hours, inappropriate clothes. I just can't manage "life". Every.Single.Day. Until I lose my job, and the cycle begins again.
I'm often in tears at complete inability to get my shit together. I'd love to have children but social services would probably remove them for neglect.

I'm waiting to begin meds next week and if they worked they could potentially be life-saving.

Good luck with the meds @Artemi. I’m sorry things have been and are so hard for you

A big hug for you @Artemi Do make sure to get some therapeutic support from someone alongside meds. You've endured a lot and it takes a toll. Be kind to yourself 💙

You story is so similar to mine. I started meds this week and all good so far.good luck

Especially on a thread on over-diagnosis, I don't feel it helpful to talk in terms of "getting a diagnosis". To me, at least, that suggests almost some sort of 'shopping' for a diagnosis one wants. Referring to "getting an assessment" is much more helpful imo.