Kids won't automatically be overweight & unhealthy if they don't do sports

[Echobelly]

MIL every now and then frets that our kids don't do enough sports and often buys them things that will encourage them to be more active in a heavily Dropping A Hint Manner - she's a bit of fatphobe and I think is convinced our kids will become overweight and unhealthy if they're not doing sporty stuff (other grandkids are very sporty). Kids (11 and 14) are not overweight, nor unhealthy as far as I can tell, DS in particular is a skinny little stick.

I grew up in a household where we all stopped doing sports as soon as GCSEs were over, none of us was ever in a sports team or did any extra-curricular sports and my sister was the only one of us to ride a bike (and that was only about for a year or two) and none of was or is overweight. But we ate a decent diet and were not ferried everywhere by car - neither are my kids and they both walk 1.5 miles each way to and from school every weekday, so it's not like they're totally sedentary. Anyone else had to deal with someone who thinks kids have to be doing sport to be healthy?

There's a difference between "thin" and "healthy" though.

Also walking is totally a form of exercise. What sports teams is MIL on?

I do agree to an extent and think a huge amount is the crappy diets we all eat and being sedentary generally

my skinny 13 year old is annoyingly inactive but does walk around everywhere. Sports aren’t for everyone

And there’s a lot more positives to bring involved in sport than weight

YABU the evidence is overwhelming. Exercise is very important to massively reduce your risk of health issues in later life. Strong correlation between lower rates of cancer, heart disease, osteoporosis, stress, chronic pain and on and on.
Of course someone's Grandad never did any sport and smoked 80 B&H a day and lived healthy until they were 101.

Well mine all did loads of sport but quit most of them when they became teenagers. I wish they did more sport. One of them doesn’t do anything but she used to be a gymnast so is still slim and athletic. The others do a few hours a week, which is what they used to do in a day.

Sport is great for all sorts of reasons and should be encouraged.

Also so good for confidence, team work and making friends outside of school. I wish wish wish my parents had encouraged me to do sport of any sort.

In fact a can't see a negative if you find the right sport (apart from effort and cost from you as a parent).
Honestly as someone with poor health there is NOTHING more important for quality of life than being healthy for as long as possible.

Kids could eat Tupperware and still not get fat. Wait until they are late 20s , still do no exercise or sport. The weight will creep on. It's not about the here and now it is about they future.

DS15 has never done sports but his "commute" involves a lot of walking and he does a bit of core work 2/3 times a week (squats, planks etc). He's in very good shape despite playing a lot of xbox but like with adults a lot of it is driven by diet, he's just not bothered by snacks and mainly drinks water or weak squash.

There's definitely benefits to being sporty beyond the exercise part of things though. I played all kinds of sports as a teen/early 20's and whilst I've met some proper dickheads I also got friends and memories for life.

If your children don't do physical activity then they will be unhealthy, the recommendation for children is 1h a day. The trouble with relying on the walk to school is that when they leave school they will have to replace that with another kind of exercise or they will get unfit.

Getting kids to do sport regularly is a way of building exercise into their routine because there is regular practice and teammates relying on them. If they aren't interested in sport then do some kind of organised exercise with them at the weekend like going for a walk or doing an exercise routine on youtube or having a kitchen disco or going bowling or whatever you will enjoy as a family.

YABU, exercise is essential for physical and mental health, is it just because your MIL is pushing it that you’re so against it?

What does your DH think?

I agree with this. I wasn't sporty but DS found his sport aged about 8 (by chance) and is still doing it aged 16. It's brought him friends, confidence, an ability to mix with different ages and - now - money as he does coaching. And fitness of course. For him I genuinely feel it has shaped his childhood and I suspect / hope will be an important part of his adult life.

Completely appreciate its not for everyone but I would definitely encourage children to have a go and see if they find something that really chimes with them.

YANBU. I used to do tons of sport and now do none at all, I’ve always been very slim and I think it’s more down to diet than whether I exercised. I eat full fat, whole unprocessed foods mostly as do our dc .

People don't need to do sport to be healthy. However they do need to be physically active - my DS is not into competitive or team sports but loves riding his bike and walks or cycles everywhere - to school, to friends etc. I would argue he does more physical activity per week than his peers who are ferried to their sports activities which last for 45 mins max twice per week

It’s about fitness not weights

I'm not saying it shouldn't be encouraged for many reasons, but being all unsubtly-implying kids will be unhealthy if they don't do lots of it is quite annoying! I'm not anti sports at all, but I am anti people seeing it as the only way to be healthy - and indeed, 'thin' as the only way to be healthy, let's get that clear. I'm not saying I think thin = healthy, but I know MIL thinks that way.

My kids do loads of sports and I think it's important for all kinds of reasons. I was amazed by how quickly DD's flexibility increased once she started gymnastics. Football has really increased her confidence. She's naturally shy and a people pleaser so actually tackling her peers was a big deal for her.
I wish my parents had encouraged me to do some.

11 and 14 and all they do is walk - no climbing, biking, swimming, running, rugby, tennis, hockey, football, athletics, karate...anything at all out of school??
That's actually pretty sad. As pps have said, sport is so good for mental health, forming friendships, building relationships and so on, as well as forming good fitness habits for life.

My mum didn't see the benefit of sport either and I didn't pick it up until my 30s. Really regret missing out on being mentally and physically fit for all those years. She also said that as we walked everywhere (no car) we were fit enough.

NB, I do want kids to find something physical they enjoy doing for health by the time they finish GCSEs and PE stops being a thing - I mentioned this to 14 yo as they are doing a term of Ju-Jitsu at school and enjoying it.

But of course this is mumsnet, so some people are going to read this thread as me both saying that No One Should Do Sport and that Overweight People Are Unhealthy. 😆

I did no sport apart from PE as a child and I'm healthy and not fat. However, I've recently started playing football and learnt to ski a few years ago and I absolutely love both. Years of sweating in the gym when I could have been doing something I love. And sport isn't just the obvious ones like netball, football, golf. There are water sports, trampolining, rock climbing. All physical activities they get you meeting people, enjoying life, and getting healthy as a side effect of that.

Some people just aren’t sporty, and I think that’s totally fine. It is so valuable, though, to find some kind of activity that you enjoy when you’re young, and I genuinely think it can make a lifelong difference. I always associated exercise with being a miserable slog and hated it. It took me so long to find anything I liked. Now I do really strenuous classes several times per week, and I love it. I’ve found the right place and the right activity, and now I no longer associate exercise with weight loss; now it’s about strength and stamina. It’s changed my whole perspective. I just wish I had found this sooner so I could have spent much more of my life enjoying exercise (and had the muscle tone and memory to prove it!)

"MIL every now and then frets that our kids don't do enough sports and often buys them things that will encourage them to be more active"

I saw your replies and updates but yes - you're being unreasonable to think that being unhealthy would not be a direct consequence to not being active/ do sports.

Your mil seems to realise all the health benefits (physical and psychological) and I'm sure she has good intentions. I'd love for my MIL to buy my dc things that will encourage them to be active much more than buy them plastic tat.
For some reason, you seem to take it as a personal criticism coming from her?

I absolutely hated sports at school and as an adult have never engaged voluntarily in any exercise for the sake of it (except maybe swimming occasionally). As an adult I am size 8, and I think pretty fit as I walk a lot and am constantly running around! Those commenting on the mental health/ social benefits of sport - true if that's what you are into. Personally I got all of that playing in orchestras and musical ensembles. So my view is it's important to have some kind of hobby/ extracurricular activity than sport per se. One of my kids is really sporty, the others not, but they are both having music lessons, which they are more interested in. My view is they should do something, whether it's sport, music or scouts, but I wouldn't force them to do sport. I don't agree that organised sporting activity is a requirement to be slim and fit if otherwise active.

Sports are not necessary, but an active lifestyle is. Playing in the park, on the trampoline, walking the dog, walking to school all acceptable substitutes for formal sports.