My parents were married for 57 years until we lost our dad in 2020. They were devoted to each other and looking back my mum placed all her dependence on him instead of carving out a bit of independence for herself. Now 2 years on she is still like a lost soul and would sink into a deep depression if it wasn't for my sister and I.
She's had bad nerves for a long time, but her anxiety has increased ten fold since she was widowed. She can't bear to be left on her own, although she appreciates that she has to be as we can't be with her 24/7. We've both got jobs, grandchildren etc as well as looking after her. If someone is with her she calms down. She seems incapable of functioning mentally without us thinking for her.
She wont try to carve out a new life for herself, even though she says she should. It could be old age, her meds, grief, depression. You ask her why she can't stand being alone & she just says she gets churned up. Where do we go from here, does anyone have any advice please?
My first thoughts are see the doctor. But to get a face to face appointment is near on impossible unless its an emergency. I've looked at sheltered accommodation but everywhere seems full. I feel we can't go on like this, trying to be with her every spare minute and she needs some external help, but from where?