Exclusive MIL

[APollforTuesday]

If I may ask your opinions on this situation to see if I am genuinely being unreasonable or if I just need to forget it as a nothing. It's not a massive thing by the way, just something that's mildly bugging me.

Went out for a meal with husband, MIL, husband's single brother and a few other more distant relatives, all on DH's side of the family for small family event. After meal had finished we were all in the car park mingling around saying goodbyes and a woman from another group came over to speak to MIL. She happened to be a friend of DH's sister who couldn't make the event. MIL and woman were chatting and I was stood next to them not speaking but clearly part of the group, while DH and BIL were probably two cars away. MIL pointed out DH and BIL saying, they are my other 'children' over there, my two sons, and completely blanked me.

I don't know why she wouldn't have said this is 'Poll' my daughter in law? She's always been a bit exclusive of me and I'm a bit sensitive to it.

What do you think? All of the other relatives were talking in different groups.

That a really, really minor thing. I doubt that without a backstory most people would even notice it.

Did she point out all the other relatives?
Why were the group stood 2 Cars away but you stood right next to MIL while she was talking to a stranger?
I'm not being an arse, I'm just trying to get it straight in my head

DH was saying goodbye to BIL by his car and I was stood with MIL next to our car as we were taking her home. Stranger recognised and came over to MIL. Other family members were milling around the general area but not next to her if that makes sense.

I would say it would be rude if she pointed out everyone except you but if she only pointed out her sons then it's not so bad.

What is she mike with you generally?
If this is a one off event, disregard it.
It is the whole picture that you need to look at, not just a single occurence.

I noticed it as I'm a bit sensitive to her being a bit exclusive.

She's usually a bit distant and stilted. I don't see her loads, but we've been together 10 years.

She's introducing her kids. Perfectly fine. You're way over thinking it and if you were stood there you could have gone hi, I'm DIL, Poll. Way over reacting. But this does obvious depend on wider backstop.

OK, that's good, I'm happy to be over thinking it. I just wondered what others thought. Like I say, it's minor.

Next time say
And I'm Pol, mrpol is my dh. Pleased to meet you.
Job done.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

My advice if people exclude you is to walk away every time. Don’t give excuses or apologise or say a word.

Just walk away.

And if she always excludes you then reduce the time you spend with her. Don’t go to a house where you are ignored.

Thank you @pewtypie for your support. She can be a little cold, not so anyone would notice that much, but I do.

My ex BIL once did the same. Damn sure THAT was deliberate.