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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To keep messaging DS?

1 reply

toknozerku · 07/11/2022 19:06

I'm really at a loss on what to do. DS turned 18 last week, he's been in a relationship since last summer, which I wasn't happy about from the beginning due to the age gap (he had just turned 16 and she was 18) and she seemed very controlling of him, whenever he was with friends she'd tell him she missed him and would argue with him if he was out with friends that are girls, if I said no to her staying over he’d go and stay at hers, she demanded DS to videocall her everyday during our holiday etc those are just examples.

Then she announced she was pregnant, I wasn't happy but I was supportive for DS. Grandson is now 3 months old, they were all living with me and his gf seemed controlling and would often say do this instead of x etc. They split up as gf accused him of cheating and gf went back to her mums with baby, they've got back together and DS has moved in with her mum also, this was about a month ago. I've only seen DS a handful of times since, I've not seen grandson and I've had a message from DS saying GF doesn't want me seeing grandson so he doesn't want to see me either and to stop texting him as it's ‘annoying’. His dad has said DS is fine with him, although he's never met the gf and he's only seen photos of grandson.

WIBU to keep messaging him?

OP posts:
purpleboy · 07/11/2022 19:25

Right now he is under her control, the more you push the further she will pull, you won't win.
Keep it breezy, ask after GS and GF, invite them all over for tea and when they decline don't push it, ask again in another few weeks or so.
Basically take a step back and don't offer up any opinion on her or his relationship. Tell him you will always love him and want them all in your life.
It's really fucking hard but at the moment she holds all the cards and you have to play along.

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