To say it's different once you become pregnant?

[LemonDrizz]

I am 36 and pregnant. Totally unplanned. Never planned to have kids, never wanted them, was not in my wildest dreams.

Since finding out I am pregnant, I feel quite different.

I have 4 spaniels, my life has very much revolved around being outdoors, walking and training them. My friends have dogs, not children. I have my own place, a good job and have been reasonably happy just going along.

I split with the father before I found out and there is no chance of us getting back together. In the past, had I been asked 'what would you do if....?' I would have said I would get an abortion without a doubt . However, actually being pregnant, I don't want to make that choice. I know there are other options, adoption etc.

AIBU to completely change my mind, realise it is going to change EVERYTHING in my life, and it's going to be the hardest thing I ever do and have this baby alone? I have the support of my family, and the few friends who know... or do I need to be more rational about my decision?

You sound perfectly rational to me! You've found yourself in a situation you hadn't planned for, and you're examining your options. Rational.

Never changing your mind - now that's NOT rational.

Oh and - congratulations!

You're following your gut feeling, it can be normal to change your mind, and it's allowed! Sounds like you've got a good support network too. Congratulations, op.

Congratulations! I was on the fence about having children until it happened so I can relate. It will change your life dramatically but will likely feel like the best thing you've ever done once baby is here xx

Congratulations! You sound pretty rational to me. You know it’s life-changing but you have been weighing your options and want to have the baby which is a perfectly valid choice. Best of luck to you.

It’s different for you, that’s great. You sound like you’re in a good place? If you’d found yourself unexpectedly pregnant and single after never wanting to be a mother you might have known immediately you’d want an abortion and that would have been great as well as we’re still lucky enough to live in a country where that would have been safe, legal and available to you. Your experience is just that, yours. I’m sure you know other women feel the opposite.

It’ll be the best and hardest thing you do with your life. I have a little boy, had him at 35 and he has transformed my entire existence and there’s no one I’ll ever love even half as much - he’s my absolute world. Once upon a time I never wanted children. Now, I couldn’t ever be without him. He’s 2 and a half now, I’ve learnt he’s autistic and he is the most loving, most beautiful person. He’s made me a better person.

Congratulations! There’s currently a heart beating inside you that will be wandering the world long after you and I are gone, and you’re about to discover a love that will make all previous loves look like mere shadows. Exciting.

It’s normal to become a different person with pregnancy. I felt rewritten from the inside. I’d been career-focused until pregnancy, but suddenly growing someone else’s brain seemed a lot more important than Bob’s report about blahblahblah.

I’d give anything to be able to get pregnant again, treasure what you have.

Your post has warmed my cockles OP. You're about to embark on the best adventure ever. In my mind it's somehow more exciting because you didn't want kids before but now this baby has come along and changed everything. It's just lovely. Congrats!

I had an unplanned pregnancy in my 30s. Never wanted children, my life was perfectly complete without them. Until a contraceptive failure!

It is hard, I’m not going to lie. But nothing in life worth having is easy and my goodness it is by FAR the best thing I have ever done!

Congratulations

Out of interest, did you then go on to have more? You know, in for a penny...or did you stick with one?

Go for it! You are 💯 allowed to change your mind and want a baby after not wanting one. Nothing is set in stone! Congratulations

I need help, I’m so confused, I’m about a week late on my period and have been try to conceive for about 11 months, I’m older now so thought it wouldn’t be that easy. I’m usually really regular and right on time a day early, never this late.
I’ve done two test and both seem to have a faint line. I’m not sure if I am seeing things as I want it to be positive. I did a clear blue first wee this morning and this is the picture within 5 minutes.
I ask my husband if he could see a blue cross and he said yes but I don’t want to get my hopes up.
I have been pregnant before but a long time ago and I’m not sure if I should be getting any symptoms this early on.

Please be honest and tell me what you think about the test.

It's different for you now that you're pregnant. That doesn't mean it's different for everyone.

It's fine to do it alone. Nice not to have to share decisions. You can live where you want, call them what you want, raise them with your values. It's happened and you dont have to justify or explain to anyone what youre doing, except to yourself and your child when theyre old enough to ask!