To want to do as much holidaying/travelling for a year before IUI?

[usernamme0707]

I'm 31 and want a baby on my own. Exploring options at the moment and will most likely use a sperm donor.

Thing is, I've barely travelled during my life but recently got the bug for it. I'm thinking of spending the next 12 months going to as many places as possible, even just weekend Europe city breaks.

I'm also conscious I'm not getting any younger and do I really wait until 32 to start fertility treatments? As far as I'm aware, I have no fertility issues, but I haven't had tests done yet.

AIBU to delay conceiving my dream donor baby to travel for a year?

Not unreasonable at all! Get the travel bug out of your system and then turn your focus to starting a family. You'll have lots of interesting stories to share with your future child and maybe you can even return to some of your favourite places with them 😊

Thank you, this is what I was thinking. How nice it would be to get to see all these places and then return with my own child one day to show them all the places I have fallen in love with.

I’m a similar age and still feel very young! I have done a lot of travelling in my 20s and early 30s and I’ve still got another 5 years of travel & adventure planned before having a baby. I know late thirties is considered old by a lot of people’s standards but we only want to have one child so that gives us a little bit more time I feel. :)

Definitely go for it!

Can I ask if you’re wanting to have a child on your own because you don’t have a partner or that is just what you want? Either way it is completely ok and good for you I ask because if it is the former, definitely go on as many travelling adventures as you can you never know who you will meet..

YANBU

You don’t know what the journey will be like to conceive. I would enjoy life as much as you can before you embark on it.

In our case we did IVF due to infertility, our first round failed, we took a 6 month holiday and went on three major holidays then we were ready for the IVF fight again….

Do it! It will build your strength up before you start treatment.

It's because I don't have a partner. I know I want to be a mother but don't know if/when I'll meet someone, hence why I'll be doing it alone. That's unless by some miracle I meet the love of my life in the next 12 months ha! Unlikely though so it's not a factor for me. You're right though, never know who you might meet along the way.

In honesty, and maybe I’ll get flamed for this, but I think it’s selfish to have a baby and deliberately deny them the opportunity of a father. You’re only 31. Go out and travel, enjoy your life and try and meet someone.

It's 2022. Families come in all shapes and sizes. I'm quite surprised that people still think like this.

I can give a child all the love he/she needs, and I have a great family who will also pour every ounce of love into the child.

I'd much rather that than force myself to meet someone.

Ignore @rainyskylight having a baby is SELFISH period. They do not ask to be born, we want them for our own selfish needs, just as she will have done.

but yes. Go on as many travels as you can and when you come back and still want to try by all means go for it. I started trying at 29 and went on to having many miscarriages, lost our son shortly after birth and became a mother at 31 to our beautiful daughter. So you never know until you start trying. I’m just glad I did not wait until later

the one piece of advice I will give is make sure you have an excellent support system. I really struggled through my pregnancy with my daughter, hyperemesis, cholestasis, cervical stitch and then a premature labour - like you, I once was going to do it on my own but am so so glad I not bcos it was a lot and I don’t think I would’ve had the support. So that is a must

Do the fertility tests and let that inform your decision.
You could even freeze embryos if you would consider IVF if IUI doesn’t work. (Having done both, I don’t know why people bother with donor IUI.)

Yanbu. I'm 27 and we were supposed to try for a baby this year. We've got all the things we wanted to out of the way, jobs, house, married, travelled since we met at uni and had a big honeymoon. So we should be 'ready', but if anything, it's made me want to do more travelling because I realised I have major honeymoon blues because I enjoy being on the move so much.

Life at home feels dull now. I think I've realised I need to have more adventures before babies, and that's OK. I plan to get some more holidays out the way first, although I know that is probably very shallow to some people!

It’s your life, do whatever you want. The only thing that occurs to me is whether on one income you can afford to do lots of travelling, then pay for IUI, then cover maternity leave and then pay for childcare.

if you can then Bon voyage!

Do it!! I have a very much planned and wanted baby and have really struggled with feeling trapped. I wish I had done more travelling and holidays while it was still easy . I feel like Covid ruined my last years of freedom!

A year isn't going to make all that much difference to fertility so I'd say go for it. Financially this would all be impossible for most single women so if you're fortunate enough to be able to go for it then do!