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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To nit let her go to the park...

23 replies

Fairy486 · 07/11/2022 08:50

So my daughter is 8 and has asked to go to the park after school to meet her friend (with an adult) about 5.30. I have just had a row with my husband as I said no. We had a similar issue last Monday. My thinking is its dark and cold and Monday is the only night of the week we don't have any clubs. We are out the house every other night for football/swimming/dance....
He said its only half an hour with her friend after school and I am being unreasonable. Honestly after reflecting on it I think I possibly am.... was just trying to make sure they have enough down time.
Was just after people's opinions.

OP posts:
GreenIsle · 07/11/2022 08:59

Yabu, if your daughter was tired then I'm sure she would have told you this, playing in the park can be counted as down time especially mentally. Children benefit greatly from free play and able to switch off and just have some unstructured fun.

Flamingle18 · 07/11/2022 08:59

I guess the park is unstructured unlike clubs and school so it is downtime. Before long you might have a battle getting her away from the tv so I would say park is a good option. Before long it'll be too cold and wet.

luxxlisbon · 07/11/2022 09:00

If you want her to have more downtime then don’t do as many structured activities. Your DD will enjoy going to the park randomly after school with a friend far more.

Seeline · 07/11/2022 09:06

If it was straight from school at 3pm, I'd say yes. At 5.30, in November, in the cold and dark, having to turn out again I'd say no too.

Will you have to take her or us planning to go on her own.?
5.30 seems a weird time - are you not having dinner around then?

Tdcp · 07/11/2022 09:06

I'd let her go personally. The park with a friend is mental downtime and she'll be a lot happier for going.

Soubriquet · 07/11/2022 09:07

Yabu. It’s half an hour on one day where she can let her hair down and have fun with her friends

Plumbear2 · 07/11/2022 09:13

I think it depends on the park. There's one park in my town which wouldn't worry me. The other has groups of teens causing trouble as soon as it gets dark, even my teenage boys refuse to go.

SD1978 · 07/11/2022 09:18

The multitude of activities during the week are your choice though, whether she enjoys them all as I'm sure you believe she does, it's still your choice to she is in them, this was something to do which was her choice, with the one day 'off' she gets from what you structure for her. I do think it was unfair to say no, it's 'downtime' as she's spending half an hour with a friend

Crossback · 07/11/2022 09:19

Do you mean 3.30? If so-yes definitely let her go.
if it’s 5.39 though it will be dark so no

Iguanainanigloo · 07/11/2022 09:21

If you don't want her out in the dark, why don't you suggest the friend comes over for a play at yours after school? Think it's harsh to disallow social time with friends, especially with how much they missed out on this during lockdowns

Oreosareawful · 07/11/2022 09:21

My kids aren't allowed to go to the park after dark. If it was still light then I wouldn't have an issue. I don't think you're being unreasonable.

CheeseIsMyPatronus · 07/11/2022 09:23

OP, this is down time for her - hanging out with her pal.

Of course she should be able to go.

TrashyPanda · 07/11/2022 09:26

Isn’t playing outdoors with a pal the perfect definition of “downtime”?

of course she should be able to go.

StrangerOnline · 07/11/2022 09:33

Football, swimming and dance are all structured whereas hanging out in the park with a friend is the very definition of relaxed, sociable downtime. So that is not a good reason for saying no.
‘Dark and cold’ is the reason why perhaps YOU wouldn’t fancy it? But an adult will be there too so safety is not an issue.
Please do let her go.

Sciurus83 · 07/11/2022 09:36

Park near me, absolutely no way. Depends where you live

Sciurus83 · 07/11/2022 09:37

Oh just saw with an adult, that's different I'd be ok with that

Hellenswall · 07/11/2022 09:39

You are definitely being unreasonable!

gogohmm · 07/11/2022 09:39

The problem isn't the park, but you have booked too many other activities. Let her go to the park

MrsK89 · 07/11/2022 09:41

I think it's fine since there were will be an adult there aswel. Just make sure you have the parents number

summergone · 07/11/2022 09:45

Yes , take her . Fresh air , running around does them good . It's pretty dark by 5.30 thou

Mariposista · 07/11/2022 10:30

Totally unreasonable. A bit of downtime with an adult in the park? They are hardly smoking crack and getting in trouble. Get a grip!

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 07/11/2022 10:36

I am struggling to understand why anyone would want to go into a pretty dark park themselves, let alone an adult with a child (and I walk my dog in the evenings but not in a park) but maybe op lives in an unusually crime free, clean town (not Greater London).

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/11/2022 10:39

Will the park be lit at that time?

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