My MIL just bought my baby a set of reigns and I am horrified. What to do?

[BumblBeee]

I think they are horrid?!

Ds2 won't need reins. I can tell. Ds1 was on reins until he was 3.5.

Children are not cakes - there is not guaranteed outcome for following a set recipe.

Desiderata

er, no i dont use the car. iirc my 2 yr old could walk a mile - she did to nursery anyway - that ws nearly a mile, if she got weary she could go on my shoulders or hippychick

or if it was raining we took the bus

car my arse. by the time you strapped them in and found a parking space youd be there and back

bus more fun

I used them for ds1 when ds2 arrived. I had always thought I wouldn't as I also didn't like the 'look' of them, but otherwise he'd have been running off all the time. He still runs ahead of me now at 9 and ran out in front of a car only last week.

I havent had a buggy for either of mine past about 20months, and I dont drive so at times reins were a life saver, great to keep young children in high chairs too.

Both my children have used reigns, and in the right situation they are a godsend.
We do lots of hill walking and they are great for helping my DDs get the confidence to climb over rocks and tricky terrain without knocking their teeth out!
My DD2 last spring, walked all the way to the top of Snowdon, could never have managed it without reigns.
In towns, it meant that she could walk safely and gave me peace of mind.
Each to their own
AB

I used reins for my twins...It was the only way to get out of the house and let them have some walking practice..trying to hold onto two bolting little girls with any cars on sight used to send my blood pressure rocketing...and as other posters have said I'd rather they looked slightly silly than were squashed under a car...children are so naturally curious and it gives you an extra element of safety..

It really irritated me that people would have a go at me/make snide remarks about them..they weren't painful, they allowed them to wander off a bit in safe areas, they were essential when they were learning to walk...

I understand that other people might not choose to use them, but I got sick of them having a go at me about doing so..

My mum used them on all 5 of us and we're all okay!

agree with gingerninja they get the "relative freedom of moving independently whilst staying safe"..where's the harm in that...

By colditz on Wed 30-Jan-08 07:54:32
I'd rather have a baby that looks like a dog than a baby that looks like roadkill

[applauds]

why are they essential when learning to walk? surely if they can't walk yet they can't run off into roads?

i've got reins for when ds is older and at 19 months and not walking we are a long way off not being able to use the pushchair or use reins reliably so i hope i am not judged for my child being strapped into his buggy when he should be out on his reins. i probably am because he is big for his age and looks more like a 2 year old.

I don't object to reins for other people. If you have more than one child, they may well be necessary. If you have a child who's fearless, they are undoubtedly a Godsend. But my girl's first word was 'careful' and she never let go of my hand whilst we were out. And I figured that it was better to teach her right from wrong than to bring in some outmoded way of instilling safety into her. To me it's an outdated piece of equipment. Your MIL has every right to buy you what she likes...but you have every right to not use them.

Tell her straight...you've got a child, not a dog. I taught my daughter to say 'I'm not a dog' whenever the reins were mentioned.

DH's mum NEVER stopped nagging me about them and I NEVER gave in. And my now 7 year old DD is more likely to step into the street than she was as a toddler. And there aint no way she'll wear reins now LOL!

My DD has been walking since nine months, and she is very independant - if she doesn't want to go in the pram, she'll twist and scream and create. She loves to walk anyway, DH often walks her home from the CM house (prob just under a mile) and she loves to run. But we live near a very busy road, and we are on a junction where there have been a couple of people knocked over. So we put her in reins when we go out (she's not a good hand holder!) and I know I can keep her safe, she's happy as she is walking/running like she wants, plus she is getting exercise.
I dont care if she "looks like a puppy" - so long as she is safe!

Of course, this does not mean we do not teach her road safety. She is over 2 now, and she stops when we come to a road shouting "road mummy, road!" and she likes to press the butons to the crossing lights.

squilly, I refer you to Colditz's post "I'd rather have a baby that looks like a dog than a baby that looks like roadkill"

Oh, and its actually got nothing to do with the number of children and everything to do with temperament. There's nothing outdated about reins - children haven't got any better at walking nicely holding hands over the years but the roads/shopping centres etc etc have got one hell of a lot busier and more dangerous.

You can still teach your children to be careful whilst using reins, mine still held my hands - it just gave an extra element of safety..

I don't think the majority of people using reins would neglect to try and explain to their child why they were using them and to still tell them to watch out for cars, stop at lights etc..

I really don't get the "my childs not a dog" comments. Such an over-reaction. Leads on dogs for the same reason reins on children - safety.

If you don't like them don't use them, I used them briefly for DS when he started walking as holding hands was too uncomfortable for him for any length of time (try sticking for arm straight up and walking around for 20 mins - its damned uncomfortable).

I don't like the look of them but its not the end of the world is it? I don't like look of all sorts of things that are sensible.

Actually they're fab for new walkers as, when they fall, you can catch them before they hit the pavement.

There is so much in the news about childhood obesity yet something that allows a child to walk safely and not be strapped in a buggy all the time (the only other option for a Bolter) is greeted with horror. Strange.

I also made DS stop at a road and hold my hand, reins or no reins. I can't get over how hysterical some people are about such an inoffensive object.

Mine liked their reins, DS chose a pair that ahd a car on the front and when he was goign through a phase of getting his arms out ofhis car seat we used them to keep him extra safe.

I never used them instead of holding his hand, I used them as well as, now he is 3 he always holds my hand, I'd probably take the reins with me if we were going somewhere really busy though (A fair or bonfire night or something), just incase.

Here here, Soupy.

Hear hear, I mean

I used reins for mine. It was simple maths, actually.

1 mother + 2 kids with autism = 2 kids legging it in opposite directions!

Reins meant they didn't have to be tied into a double pushchair!

Safety first. The little buggers were slippery

I loved the reins.

There's no way I'd take my kid up our very very busy high street without the ADDED protection of his reins. We don't rely on them - he holds hands - but every so often he'll drop my hand and make a dash fo r some mystery object. Very scary!
Also, what soupy said about obesity - good point!

BumblBeee, You shocked me to the core wen I read this thread yesterday, so instead of being rude I thought I would answer today.
Reins are practical, especially if like dh you are 6'4 and you are walking a small toddler. Either you use reins or as a parent you are bent double to hold your child's hand, whilst your child walks the whole day with his arm straight up in the air.

If you don't like them you can post them to me - I can't find the ones I had for DS (mostly used for the "catching him before he hit the pavement" bit as he was by nature quite cautious) and I need some for DD who is definitely a bolter - takes off at maximum speed without a backward glance - but also needs them to help minimise the bumped knees.

As everyone has said, reins don't take the place of LOs holding a hand - but they do let the poor things rest their arms every now and again, and let you catch them when they trip without risking dislocating their shoulders.

I think it's horrible for a child to have to walk with one arm up in the air all the time.