My MIL just bought my baby a set of reigns and I am horrified. What to do?

[BumblBeee]

I think they are horrid?!

[SoupDragon]

BabyDragon had a whale of a time atthe school fireworks. I was helping on the glow stick stall and she was running round the playground like a wild thing in the charge of a assortment of (know to me) children. Without them she would have been stuck in the pushchair, screaming.

[SoupDragon]

She was on reins. No way would I have let her do that "free".

[Oliveoil]

good god almighty, is this still warbling on?

rein yourselves in ladies

[marge2]

I have no problem with them at all. I used them a few times when DSs were in their ' thinking it's really funy to run away from Mum in the supermarket or anywhere else' stage. It wasn't long til their found out that they could lean on them and use them to do an on purpose 'controlled fall over'.

They got to be more of a pain in the neck than the running away then. They work for some kids but not for others. Not horrid though.

[lucyellensmum]

i cant believe it is such a big deal to be honest - have reins if you want them, dont if you dont - simple!

[farfaraway]

Haven't read whole thread as too long. Do you think MIL bought the reins for her to use when out her gs/d. I know my Mum used reins when out alone with DD2 as because of health and age she was worried if DD2 ran off she wouldn't physically be able to catch/stop her. I would ask her if she anxious about this.

[alibubbles]

if they are posh leather ones = I'll buy them!

[hairtwiddler]

DD thinks she is leading me. I don't let on otherwise! We live near a very busy road and would wander in every direction.
She likes them, I feel happier - win win.

[wannaBe]

I had reins for ds as soon as he could walk, because if he'd decided to make a run for it I wouldn't have been able to see where he had gone. But he was very good at holding hands and learned quickly to stop when told etc.

But I did find them quite short, so I attached a wrist strap to the handle thus making them somewhat longer .

[fridascruffs]

I used reins a bit, DP HATED them (he had the dog hang-up too) but he wasn't the one trying to manouevre an atomic toddler and a small baby around town on his own. I didn't use them much, a couple of times when I lfew from France to England without help, and to visit shops that I couldn't get the pushchair into, but mostly I carried them with me to strap DS into shopping trolleys in France cos they don't do straps there and DS seemed to have no depth perception at all and would step out into space from any height.I didn't find htem useful for walking any distance cos DS would go round in circles or just lie down, so it depends on your DC's attitude to them as well I suppose.

[chicaguapa]

I don't know if it has been mentioned already but we have one of these for DS who is always running off. But he likes wearing his little backpack and he carries some little cars in it. It's a good compromise but you have to remember to steer him with your hand or you end up thinking he's a dog and start pulling him around.

[Bellbird]

We used them a handful of times for dd, when she was little, but preferred her kiddy backpack with a detachable 'rein'. It was worth every penny from the amount of use we've had from it.

[MaeBee]

i've used them in the bedroom with consenting adults, but not out....

[VTired]

Have an incredibly active toddler and couldn't survive without reins! I felt awful about using them - even got the health visitor in to discuss my concerns about restricting his freedom/curiousity -she very wisely explained that some kids need them, for their own safety, and that it wasn't cruel - leaving him trapped in a buggy was much more cruel! Depends on your little one i guess.

[Peachy]

Like Yurt I have the belt- and a SN child who is depndent on them. I hmmmd and aahhhh'd for ages but he's quite strong 9and not a toddler- 4.5) so better a child on a rein than a dead one eh?

AS Yurt says, the temperament of the child determines how sueful theya re- barely sued them with ds2 is at all (cant remember using them), ds1 definitely, ds3 dependent,a nd once i hve this baby in a sling and ds3 on reins will be far better than any alternative I can think of

[itsahardknocklife]

Send the reins to me to save me buying some!

[Heated]

I'm ancient enough to remember a fairly prevalent attitude about 15-20 years ago which suggested reins were a bit naff (I thought they were), it was likened to putting children on a choke chain and would get sideways looks if used - they had fallen very much out of favour. The shocking Jamie Bulger case changed that, there were articles about how to keep your child safe, and suddenly & very quickly you started seeing them on toddlers and became considered a very practical parenting tool.

[ouryve]

I still keep them handy for my 4yo DS with special needs. He's a runner and a roller and has almighty tantrums and I already have a smaller child who rides in a buggy. These days, just the threat of putting the chest harness on him is enough to get him home so he can have his tantrum there, safely away from traffic and dogshit. I had to use them for the first time in 6 months, just before Christmas.

People use leashes to keep their dogs safe, so I see no reason not to use a harness to keep a child safe if that's what it takes.

[jezzemx]

Reins rock!!!. When DD1 was little we were standing near a pedestrian crossing waiting for the green man to come on. Her ankle slipped and she stumbled forward and tripped on the raised bobbly path that surround these crossings these days, just as a bus was thundering towards us. I was able to pull her back just in time. I dread to think what would have appened if she was just holding my hand. I never left home without them for a long time after this.

[80sMum]

I wouldn't have been without reins for my LOs either. Much much safer than trying to hold their hands - and also gives them a feeling of greater freedom. Everybody wins!

[shelleylou]

ive just bought some for my son harness not the wrist strap dont like the idea of those ones. 14months and walks quite a distance but would rather not hold my hand as hes independant. makes those short trips to the shoip alot easier.

[squilly]

I think you're right that they're a great safety tool and roadkill is not a look I'd like to consider for any child.

I definitely think it's down to your child's disposition too. Mine was always compliant to an almost eerie degree (paying me back for it now though) so I didn't have to think about reins logically. My gut reaction was that I didn't like them and though I understand other people love em, I never had to challenge that opinion. TBH I also didn't like my MIL who kept trying to push them on me.

And I think that's the key thing I object to with the original OP's case. Her MIL bought them for her. This is definitely a parenting tool that Grandparent's shouldn't feel they have a right to impose on their grandbabies parents!!!

If a parent choses them for themselves, that's their perogative .

[Peachy]

Unl;ess OP's MILmfollows her aorund I would just say thank you, take it as a gift meant to be keeping her I would imagine precious grandchild safe, and just not use them if thats what she wants.

We did used to get looks when we used ours at first- after ds3 needed re-reining (i just created a word LOL!), I felt so embarassed and a lot of people around 40 or so gave me The Look. But BIBIC a few incidnents amde me realise that we really needed them- especiallya s my wrists are a bit weak and i cant hold his hand that securely. So I would say: use or dont use as you ssee fit, and allow others the freedom to do the same, and we can all live happily. And take gifts in the spirit in which they are given.

[squilly]

I'm around 40...is that why I'm anti-reins? I remember having bambi reins when I was little and not liking them too much. They were white. Lord knows how old I was...

Peachy, you are clearly a very good person. Wish I could be more like you, instead of the cantankerous old witch that I seemed destined to be!

OP is probably the only person who really knows how to sort this. She'll take all the comments on board, no doubt, and decide which answer fits best. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.