DS7 is nearly 8 and has always struggled with separation anxiety. Every nursery drop off he used to cry, I was told normal for age etc and yet it carries on - he's in y3 now and I still have to hand him to an adult otherwise he won't go to school (in KS2 they usually walk to the classroom from the school gates, but DS7 won't even walk with a friend). He won't be left at parties and won't go to play dates at other peoples houses without me. It's starting to cause real issues because I'm a single parent and DS4 isn't usually invited to these things of course, so it means DS7 often isn't invited anymore or won't go.
The only thing he will do independently is sleep in his own bed. He even struggles to go to his dad's house because I'm not there. He was like this when ex and I were still together so it's not the separation.
He does swimming lessons in a very small pool with 3 other children, with me at the poolside in but in the next year or so he will outgrow that particular instructor / pool and move on to a bigger one where parents can't be at the poolside so idk what I'm going to do then.
I honestly don't know what to do! People say it's normal and will pass when he gets older but I've been hearing it for years now. I have tried being kind and loving, firm, somewhere in the middle etc but nothing seems to work.