To think it's not unreasonable for a GP to not date someone at their surgery?

[Curtayne]

My friend met someone a number of weeks ago on a night out, they have been chatting ever since and getting on really well, but he's said they shouldn't pursue anything because of his job. She is really upset about it and feels like he is lying to try and protect her feelings and just doesn't like her- but I think he's being sensible?

Basically although she knew he was a doctor as he said early on, they didn't discuss it much, just the usual work chat ie how has hour day been etc. Anyway she found out he is a GP at her surgery, never had an appointment with him before and only found out when looking online for some info- she told him and he said about not continuing contact. She said she could move surgeries etc and surely they could just make sure she never saw him, but he still said no.

I think that's sensible tbh and admittedly never met him but doesn't sound like just an excuse- in this situation is someone wise to protect themselves and not risk it or is it fine as they need a social life too? Only asking out of curiosity, I'm not involved of course bar comforting her and taking her mind off of it, and if he was uncomfortable then that's the important thing rather than well he could have done x technically even if not comfortable.

I giess this is why alot of medics tend to date and marry other medics.

He said no because he's not that interested.
If he was he would have said yes

Exactly!

If she loves local to his work then as soon as they met he'd have known there was a high chance that this would be the case. Therefore, if it was such a dealbreaker for him he'd have asked the question before now

He's obviously wanting an "out"

Surely the correct thing would have been to establish if she was a patient at the outset (given the possibility is so high). It's the timing that makes me think he's had a change of heart

Even if he is interested, someone moving surgeries so that you can go on a few dates with them, which may or may not work out, seems a bit unnecessarily pressured/heavy/complicated. If it fizzled out or ended unpleasantly, it would have been a lot of faff for nothing.

And, if she was so inclined, she could report him to the GMC (I’m sure she wouldn’t, but he doesn’t know that, doesn’t know her and there’s no reason he should bother with the possible hassle).

The early stages of dating should be easy breezy. If I were him, I’d do the same. I’d also be pretty wary of anyone who I’d only been chatting to got a few weeks getting ‘very upset’ and accusing me of lying if I wanted to stop doing so for any reason (not sure if she shared this with him or just with you).

They weren’t necessarily out anywhere near where they work/live. It would be a fairly odd question to just ask everyone one started chatting to.

He could lose his job. It is a shame but there is no way round it.

I understand completely... That doctor - patient romantic /sex r/s should NEVER happen.

But if I met a nice bloke in a club, went on a couple of dates.. And later found he was a GP at my 18 GP practice - we should not be permitted to meet again??

Even though I can obviously avoid Dr John Smith for any future consults

I live in a small market town... My GP surgery is 400m away... The nearest alternatkve practice is 35 mins drive.

Is this completely forbidden? I can see, unwise from GP perspective in early stages... Re potential for false accusations etc.

Bjr I really fail to see how this can be forbidden?

Sorry for the hijack, but out of curiosity, how does it work in remote villages where everyone knows everyone. Do GPs not date then?

Of course you can date someone who is a patient at your surgery. I live in an area where there are only two doctors surgeries and they're going through a merger atm, so soon will only be one massive one. How would you ever date anyone locally (which is ideally what most people want) if you couldn't date someone who is registered? There are protocols in place and as long as it is declared, you aren't treating them or accessing their records, or speaking to other members of staff about their confidential health problems, then it's fine.

I have never heard of this being an issue in any school I have taught it. Teachers often teach their own children, no one worries about ‘massive breaches of confidentiality’ there.