To ask If you have dc who do too much school work/revising

[cgpandme]

How on earth did you manage to raise such conscientious DC?
I have a few friend who’s DC have to be told to have a break from revising or homework. This is so different from my DC who generally have to be told multiple times to actually do their work. Where have I gone wrong? How do you make dc so motivated?

In my opinion, it is potluck. I have one VERY conscientious student and another who never picks up a pen or a book 🤷🏼‍♀️

I was really unhappy and saw studying and doing well as my ticket away from my parents house. So erm, don’t recommend that!

Yes definitely pot luck,i was nagging my oldest to take breaks last year for gcse's,i already know i'm gonna be a raging harpy with dd2 to get her to do any revision.

Pot luck but to a degree kids do pick up on parental expectations. If you learned since infanthood that mum/dad other family members are pleased if you study/angry if you don't, that will embed a bit, especially if you are naturally a compliant or people pleasing personality type. Some DC are simply competitive, they are determined to beat others and care about doing well/getting high grades so will work hard for it.

I think people often confuse being conscientious with being anxious. I'm not sure having a dc who feels they have to work constantly without a break is the good thing you are thinking it is.

Well, myself and dc dad are both educated beyond degree, hold masters and chartered status. We place a lot of weight in the value of education, in having a thirst for knowledge and an inquisitive mind. Always supported dcs in their education, homework, parents evenings etc

eldest never does anything, doesn’t pick up a pen or book, had to be nagged to death to do any revision for recent mocks at all- frustratingly for me generally does not seem bothered!

younger one much more conscientious, does homework and studying etc.

so in my view pot luck !

I do think it helps if they have an idea of what career / plan they want to do as that keeps them motivated and gives something to aim for. My eldest has no clue so can’t ( yet!) see the importance despite being told loads of times

I've got one of each. Eldest is at college, I have always had to beg her to take a night off or not to spend all weekend studying. Youngest is in top sets but absolutely bone idle, never does homework, doesn't want to go to college, doesn't even read for pleasure. I have degrees, have done further education around them and own my own business so plenty of "good examples". Which would all suggest it's more nature than nurture.

I have one who did none, one who must have done it but I never ever saw him doing it and one who was OTT and incredibly hard on himself. This actually caused him to have MH issues. Somewhere in the middle is best.