Baby due May 2023 - move house or stay in flat?

[Sxp842]

Hi all

we are expecting our first baby in May 2023. We currently live in a spacious, first floor (no lift) flat, with 2 beds. My partner and I both work from home. His office is the spare bedroom, and I use the dining area of our lounge/diner. We have a table in our kitchen to eat dinner.

My question is whether we should sell our flat now and buy a bigger house (probably 4 bed), or wait until mid 2024 when baby will be just over a year old. We have just had an offer on our flat, but it’s a bit lower than we would like (although not bad given the current climate). If we don’t accept the offer we will probably not try and sell until mid 2024.

I won’t qualify for enhanced mat pay but I’m still hoping to take the full year off (I will only get maternity allowance)

considerations in favour of staying in the flat

• if we sell now, we would live with parents until we found a new place. It’s a very kind offer, but we would rather not live with parents when baby first arrives (don’t mind when I’m pregnant or baby is a bit older)
• Not sure how long it would take us to find somewhere decent. There is very little on the market now. We would need to complete on the purchase before I go on mat leave in May 2023 as getting a mortgage may otherwise be tricky.
• we are on a very good fixed rate mortgage which doesn’t end until Nov 2023 so we have a year of cheap mortgage payments (and I won’t be earning on mat leave, and i am the higher earner). If we sold/bought now, then our payments would go up by at least £1000 due to current interest rates (which would be affordable with our savings/some parental help/returning to work earlier).
• Current mortgage rates and property market is a bit mad at the moment. Things may have calmed down by mid 2024 so that may be a better time to buy/sell
• our flat is in a lovely area (we couldn’t afford a house here!). It would be a nice place to be on mat leave and I think has lots of baby groups etc and family feel

in favour of moving:

• we are worried that we may not have enough space in our 2 bed flat and so a bigger house may be better, especially long term - although if we moved when baby was just over a year would that be ok?
• we live in a first floor flat with no lift so would have to negotiate stairs
• the spare bed would have to be used as a combined nursery / office when baby moves out of our room - not sure how practical this is? (Although it wouldn’t be forever)
• if we accept the offer now then we may make a bit of a ‘profit’ if prices decrease next year when we come to purchase
• when I return to work we will have to go back to our current wfh set-up with me in the dining room and partner in the study (/nursery). Not sure how feasible this is? Although it would hopefully only be for a few months and baby should be at nursery during the day

we are both on the fence about this. My partner is leaning towards selling now because he is worried about space and thinks we could make a profit by selling now and buying in early in 2023. I’m leaning towards staying out until mid 2024 because I think we can just about make the space work until baby is 1 and by then the market may have stabilised / won’t be as bad as it is now, and I’ll be earning again.

any views would be much appreciated!

We did combined nursery/office for a while - it worked fine actually as the baby mainly just sleeps in their room (or not!) - did mean the baby needed to nap elsewhere but since he preferred to nap in the sling anyway, that was fine.

I would probably opt for staying put for now mostly because I personally think you would get a better mortgage deal then and the housing market in general may be better then.

I think space wise it's doable - I think you can get away with minimal toys and things for under 1s, it's when they are 2-4 that they have a lot more toys and need more floor space

I don’t think it’s realistic to think your complete by May if you haven’t found anywhere tbh so I’d bare that in mind

I wouldn’t want increased costs during maternity leave. Plus you say your area is nice for baby groups, which I found invaluable.

Oh I had somehow missed the bit about staying with family - don't do that with a newborn, it would be horrendous. If there is ever a time when you want to be in your own home with privacy, it's when you've given birth

I worried and considered similar things, we live in 2 bed house and just had our first. The combined office/nursery is fine...especially as his 10 months old and still doesn't sleep outside our bedroom. I laugh to myself now when I think how worried I was about not having 3 bedrooms. I was frantically saving for loft conversion but now I'm quite relaxed about when that happens.

I wouldn't move based on the finances but also because most of my expectations were completely wrong. I would wait to find out what parenthood is like then make big decisions.

But also don't worry about living with parents when baby is born if you did move, my friends did as they were moving too and they still miss it now, she said it was amazing having her newborn whilst others did all the cooking and cleaning etc. Not saying you have but I had read some strange stuff in pregnancy about how I shouldn't let anyone visit for weeks and have just us time. That lasted 2 days before I called my amazing inlaws to come feed us and clean our house and it was amazing showing off baby. I know not everyone has great parents but yeh just another example about how opinions change after.

Also declutter!!! :) sorry for long post, it just sounded so much like something I wrote a year ago....

Personally, I'd stay! We managed in a one bedroom, first-floor flat with my youngest, though we did have ground floor storage for the pushchair. We didn't use it often though as we both preferred a sling. Babies don't really need that much stuff, so it's definitely possible to keep the stuff to a minimum (if you can control grandparents' spending 😁).

I’d stay put - you don’t want increased costs on Mat leave.

When the baby is 6 months and moves out of your room, you’ll just have to have a travel cot in your room for daytime naps. Assuming you can leave the pram in the lobby then being on the first floor isn’t a problem (or just get a light city stroller and it isn’t anyway).

Would affordability be affected when you try to move once baby is here? It did for me as I wanted to be p/t and wasn't possible in my old career.

The staying with parents does it for me .Stay where you are

Lots of people have babies in flats. In European countries it's very normal to live in flats with a family. Moving house is also extremely stressful - think about doing that when heavily pregnant or with a little baby!

I’d stay. I have friends in same situation and they were fine - babies don’t need much really and you will enjoy mat leave more in your current place, lower bills!

I’d definitely stay put

I’d hands down stay. Lovely area, better finances through mat leave and not living with parents is an absolute no brainer! We lived in a 2 bed 3rd fl walk up apartment until DD was 3 and I was pregnant again. Honestly it was fine, I really loved living there. Just think wisely about your choice of stroller (we had a YoYo) and which baby items are truly essential. We had the office set up in our room not baby’s as it made more sense as they got older and it worked fine.

You make lots of friends during mat leave, are you likely to move a long way? Nice to make them where you will live for next few years.

We’re expecting our second baby in January and decided to stay put in our fourth floor (no lift) one bedroom apartment because we have such a good deal.

I’m taking a longer maternity leave and we didn’t want to massively increase our costs during that time. Last time I was on maternity leave my husband was made redundant and I always have that in the back on my head….

We’re decluttering and investing in some more storage to make it work.

I’d get moved. Get the next stage of your life started in the place you are actually going to live it in. You don’t want to make a new bunch of mum friends in a place you know you will leave.

it is a pain in the arse arriving home with a baby, pushchair and shopping and trying to work out how to get all that up to a first floor flat without waking the child/dropping the bags/rupturing a disc. Mumsnet must be populated by a high percentage of weight lifters as no one I know continued to use a sling past the newborn stage.

Mumsnet must be populated by a high percentage of weight lifters as no one I know continued to use a sling past the newborn stage.

I am very far from a weightlifter and carried mine in slings till about 18 months. I was honestly surprised by the number of women who looked much fitter than me who told me that they couldn't. My assumption is that it's because I did it every day since they were newborns so I got gradually used to the extra weight. And I also invested a lot of time with the sling library into getting the right sling and fitting it correctly.

I never carried my in slings, they were ridiculously long & heavy.

I'm not sure where you are in the country OP but I found the population very transient. All my NCT/baby group friends left & then a lot of friends made in primary school left.

I'd stay. We have three DC (including my DSD) in a two bedroom flat. Chose to stay here as we can't afford anything bigger in London and don't want to leave for work and other reasons. We make it work.

This is almost identical to my situation haha except I have the baby already!

Like you, we have a two bed flat in a lovely area and the spare room is currently an office. My baby is 4 months old, so she's still in our room just now, but we're going to set up her stuff in there around Christmas. We have a changing station in the living room and a travel cot that we'll use for day naps (if she sleeps there by then, she's currently a pram napper!) We leave the pram downstairs. I ummed and ahhed for ages when pregnant but I'm loving my mat leave in this area. Great classes, coffee shops and places to walk, and most mums I've met are in the same boat. We also have two years left in our mortgage fix so have made the decision to stay put until then. Everything is a gamble, as no one can truly predict the house prices or interest rates, but so far I'm happy with the decision we made!

Stay. Definitely stay.

Space is doable. People tend to buy a lot of baby items that take up a lot of space that are not needed. These include things like a baby change table, a separate baby bath, etc. You can get away furniture wise with what you have plus baby sleeping area (a crib or travel crib) and a stroller as your big space items. The rest tends to be storage for clothes, (we use a bookcase that we have converted into a Montessori style closet), diaper supplies (can be put under a coffee table or in a plastic tub next to a couch), feeding supplies (empty space for things like a breast pump or whatever you use to heat baby formula and store formula or make extra space for storing breast milk).

And then use outdoor space more, take the baby for walks, to the park, etc. The space work can be done. The bigger issue is likely relationship management and carving out time and space for each of, which can be harder in a small space with a baby.

Thanks so much for all the responses, this is super helpful!

It sounds like the general consensus is to probably stay put. It’s good to know what people in similar situations have done. I don’t know anyone in my group of friends that has had a baby in a flat, although I appreciate it must happen and from the responses here it sounds feasible. A lot of people who have kids in houses have a similar floor space to us, maybe with the addition of an extra bedroom.

I’m also pretty weak so will need to get used to a sling! Lol

I should probably also clarify that my in-laws are lovely! As are my parents! I have a great relationship with them, but I’m mainly concerned about my partner and I having the space to learn how to be parents with a newborn without lots of outside influence. Although I’m sure our parents will have lots of helpful advice - it’s just that it’s easier to take or leave that advice when living on your own. We also live locally to my parents and in-laws so I’m pretty sure we will still get help with cooking etc and will see them regularly.

We would also look to move to a town that is about 15 / 20mins away from us and is slightly closer to our parents and in-laws. So if I did make any mum friends in my area I’m pretty sure I could still stay in touch easily, as we aren’t moving far away.