To not be coping well - the worst 2 years of my life

[AndroidUsername]

2 years ago when my son turned 3 we started the process of him getting diagnosed for autism, he could not say anything other than single nouns and had many behaviour issues. I had to go on anti depressants due to the worry about the future and guilt of not getting him diagnosed sooner as me and DH were digging our heads in the sand about it. Also the guilt of it being my fault as I am autistic and passed it onto my son. Then this year my son was hospitalised for 2 nights with breathing difficulties and it looks like he has asthma.
Then I got pregnant and ended up in hospital for 5 nights with bacterial pneumonia. Then after 3 growth scans it turns out my babies weight had plateaued and I needed to be induced. They broke my waters and gave me the hormone drip but because the babies heart was too elevated it had to be an emcs. Im recovering from c section that still hurts and I have a mastitis infection. I have this very bad cough that is agony when I cough because of c section. Also my husband cant drive and now I cant for weeks. Its a 3 mile trip to my sons school and without a car its 2 bus rides. Then 2 nights ago my baby was hospitalised with neo natal seizures. She is still in hospital. The waiting for the tests and results and the unknown is killing me. I cant stop bursting into tears each day. This was after telling 3 midwives and a GP how unsettled she was each day and needed held all day and she was hunched into a ball. I am an emotional mess. It is just one thing after another. Why is my life this shit!

Can you get some help? Have you a sister, cousin friend who could help you? Another mum who might take your 3 year old to and from school? It’s not all your fault.. my child is asthmatic and has severe allergies to nuts..I did nothing to bring that on.. I too had a c section and remember coughing after, it was horrible. You need sleep, help, and a visit to your GP for a prescription for something for anxiety. I take Lexapro as I was getting completely overwhelmed with life.. and was anxious all the time.. is there a Homestart group in your area? I’m in southeast if you’re near here.. I’m praying for your little baby, please God it’ll all be ok..

OP that all sounds horrendous. I really hope things take a good turn soon. 💐

Oh love. That is so hard.
Is there anyone from school who could take your son to school - in the short term. You should be on buses with all this going on. Could your DH borrow a bike and bike seat/trailer and take your son to school in that way. Maybe speak to the PTA or you sons teacher and ask for some short term discreet help.
i Hope you have some real life support.
i definitely agree you should see the gp and ask for some short term medical help .

What is a Homestart group?
Is there anyone from school who could take your son to school I don't know the other mums at all and live outsie the catchment area, I choose school at it seemed better for my sons needs.
PTA or you sons teacher and ask for some short term discreet help What help might they offer?

I'm assuming you're not driving because of your section?

Is it because you're not well enough to drive or because you've heard you've got to wait 6 weeks?

The 6 week rule is a myth. Most insurers are happy for you to return to driving once you feel better - many friends have been back drugging within 2-3 weeks.

It sounds like driving will make life a lot easier for you right now, so the sooner you can safely return the better x

Is it because you're not well enough to drive or because you've heard you've got to wait 6 weeks? The midwives mentioned it and I thought you not insured to drive? So it could be sooner?

I know this feels, and is, awful for you but your sons school will have helped parents in similar situations before. They may be able to help set up another parent to help with drop offs or occasional playmates to give you a break. They will know what local services such as homestart etc might help you. Even just them understanding how tough things are takes pressure off you to be perfect. Have a chat or if it's easier drop them an email. Your health visitor also has a role here so contact them.

www.home-start.org.uk

Also his school keep trying to potty train my son and take off his nappy. I know he is incontinent at this age. Because they take off his nappy every day there is at least one pair of dirty trousers to wash. Once he peed on his shoes so had those to clean. Can I insist they stop doing this and leave his nappy on because no way I can keep up with the washing and soon will have no clean trousers or shoes to send him in

I was told this by my midwife after my second C-section, but I rang my insurance company and they said I was ok to drive again as long as I felt that I could perform an emergency stop safely. I was driving again after about 2 weeks as I felt ok, so definitely worth a phone call to your insurer

I rang my insurers and they told me it was when I felt safe to drive and I could react quick enough if needed - no 6 week rule at all.

You've got a hell of a lot on your plate so just take it one day at a time. Take ANY help you can get, talk to your son's teachers - there may be another school mum that can help you out.