to hope that my friends won't eat meat?

[gabbyfemale]

hi there we are vegetarians - our friends are coming for a few days does anyone think I should ask them not to bring meat, or should I not say anything and just hope that they realise we don't want meat in the house?

yabu.

if they are preparing lunch for their children then you have no right to tell them what they can give them.

I understand your principles but they're not asking you to eat the meat, and the meat coming through your door isn't going to actually harm you.

If you went to a restaurant would you expect them to order vegy as well because you wouldn't want meat at your table?

Are you going to ask them not to wear leather as well? (ROFLMHO)

if they said they'll bring some food with them, and if you all chip in, then it makes sense - regardless of the meat situation - to clarify a bit (to avoid duplication etc). so make that your starting point then:

higher risk - not remotely controversial: "I'll do do dinner for everyone - would you be ok bringing something for lunch..." (she could turn up with selection, including ham)

medium risk, possibly a bit bossy "I was thinking, could you bring some bread and soup for lunch" only a truly dedicated meat eater would turn up at a veggie's house with 2 lots of soup. but she could still bring ham anyway.

low risk, but in fact less bossy (ie still gives freedom) just tell her you really don;t like having meat around. but if you've started the conversation as needing to clarify who brings what it'll be a natural "oh by the way" not "I phoned to tell you not to bring meat..."

wannabe - I really think your own house is different to a public space like a restaurant (and I'm a meat eater). would you take bacon to a Muslim or Jewish household? For some really dedicated veggies I think it's comparable.

Those of you, especially madamez, who think the OP is being unreasonable or "up herself", would you say the same thing to a Muslim or Jew? Why should a vegetarian's view be given any less respect?
(I am not a veggie BTW).

cross-posted fluffy!

In your house if you are doing the cooking up to you waht you prepare. In somebody else house up to them. They are bringing their own food so tricky can you not just say bring puddings I'll do the rest

ineedapoo - that's a perfect solution! (hat racks brains for meat- containing puddings...)

.....As long as it's not jelly or spotted dick made with suet

I wouldn't be put out at all if the op said to me that I couldn't bring meat to her home.
Her home, her views.

Obviously if she tried to dictate what i should feed myself/my children when at a restaurant or something, then I would think it was none of her business!

But if a veggie asked me not to bring meat to her home, and I was struggling with fussy ds, I'd either ask for suggestions as to veggie things I could bring for him, or suggest we all go out for lunch somewhere.

No big deal. We all have different views/beliefs. Whether we agree or not, we should respect that.

I've stayed at vegan houses where no meat or dairy products were allowed as our hostess might eat from a plate afterwards that had touched meat!! she wouldn't have meat in the house at any price for this reason but she was quite happy for any omnivores to eat meat in cafes, restuarant, pub etc. must admit I found it a bit grim.

She did unbend after a bit to allow cows milk in the house when she got a lodger in since soya milk is an acquired taste for some but that was as far as she'd extend. Have to add that there were no children in the party.

I'm now wondering what the dog ate - never occurred to me at the time to ask .

spokette, why are you laughing at yourself?

I truly think it would be ignorant to turn up at a vegetarian's house armed with meat.. extremely bad mannered!

My best friend is veggie (I am not) her husband isn't so she allows meat in her home & her children eat meat too. But when she was in hospital having her 3rd child, I made soup for them all, no meat or meat stock etc.. she rang me up to make sure it wasn't made of meat stock, I didn't for one minute take offence at her asking!!

It's your house, so just mention offhand that you would prefer it if they didn't bring roasts or anything, but obviously when you eat out they can have the largest steak on the menu!!

I think you're unreasonable purely because of the children (assuming they are young). DSs would be a nightmare to feed on a vegetarian diet. Children are notoriously finicky.

If it were just adults, I would say you could ask them not to bring meat. You can ask them not to eat it if you go out though

"I'm now wondering what the dog ate "

I've fed the pet cats of a vegan neighbour before and they ate bog standard Whiskas

Vegetarianism is hardly an extreme sport these days. If you were a fruitarian or macro-biotic or someone who only follows a raw food diet, then it might be a tad unreasonable to impose this on guests but to ask people to refrain from eating meat for a few days whilst staying with you is not unreasonable in the slightest. When in Rome....

The dog wasn't the house dog. A non-vegan dog if you like . most dog food contains meat surely which was what was banned from the house....

Children may be finicky but no child is going to suffer damage from a more restricted diet just for a couple of days. If the parents say that it will be a really big deal for their children, just suggest you all eat out, and you could offer to pay.

But most kids will eat pizza, or scrambled eggs, or pasta with a non meat sauce, or cheese on toast.

TBH, it will be a good lesson for the kids to learn to adapt a bit more. I certainly don't make special meals for my carnivorous stepson, he's had to learn to eat what's put in front of him. Ditto my nephews, they're notoriously bad eaters but managed to survive a meat free week with us and even discovered new foods.

But there?s a difference between not eating something yourself and expecting someone else to follow your beliefs.

?but to ask people to refrain from eating meat for a few days whilst staying with you is not unreasonable
in the slightest.?. so if the roles were reversed, should the op?s friend also have the right to serve them up plates of meat with gravy made from the juices and bacon and sausage for breakfast when she comes to stay?

It's different because meat eaters can eat non meat dishes, whereas vegetarians can't (or won't because of ethics). The Muslim/Jewish/Hindu analogy explains it all. It's all about respecting beliefs.

If they know you are veggie I guess they will resoect that, being your guests and all.

Just go out to eat. It's far simpler.

I think most people wouldn't bring meat and if it's important to you then you should say it. I wouldn't mind. On the other hand, you mustn't mind if they sneak out for a ham sandwich. Non meat meals can be a bit horrible for meat lovers.

agree with Brangelina

"It's different because meat eaters can eat non meat dishes, whereas vegetarians can't. It's all about respecting beliefs. "

It's really no big deal. Even the fussiest eaters, my ds included, could survive just a couple of days without meat.

Agree or not, we should respect each other's beliefs, especially in somebody's own home.