To think it’s ok to keep DD in swimming?

[KeepUpTheSwimmingYesorNo]

She’s 8, in stage 2. Has been in it for almost a year and her teacher things with her progress levels she’ll be in it at least another 3-6 months – joined stage 2 end of December 2021.

She never finished preschool swim as she turned 5 in July 2019 so moved to Stage 1 and then with covid lockdowns stopping it was in Stage 1 for about 18 month if you only count her actual lessons (and not the time she was still that stage but not allowed to swim due to closures) – the break for the closures didn’t either hinder nor help her progress in my opinion but that’s fine.

Friends have come and gone in that time, a boy who’s the same age that she started Preschool swim with is now Stage 5, and she’s the oldest in her group. But she’s kept at it. I can’t say she’s always wanted to go but she’s been fine once in the pool, works hard and her teacher describes her as determined.
I think it’s teaching her perseverance and showing her that hardwork pays off, especially as she doesn’t find it easy.

She’s a girlguide and one of their rules/laws is about challenges and I think she’s taken that to heart (she also wants the swimming badges for her camp blanket but that’s a whole other thread!)

ExH thinks it’s cruel to keep taking her to lessons, says she should try something else and go back to swimming in a few years maybe even as an adult, especially as she’s now the oldest in her stage 2 by quite a bit (about 2 years, but only 1 school year, there’s a year 2 from her school in her class). He says she’ll start to resent going as his parents forced him to go until he could swim 25m and he hated it. He never swims now and avoids water as much as he can because of it obviously he still showers etc, but I think he means like walks along the canal/river etc.

We share the costs of activities btw, technically he pays for 1.5 activies a week and I pay for 1.75 activities a week (she has an EHCP for school so school pay 3/4s of the cost of one of their clubs) – she does Brownies, Swimming, Dance and a music club at school (the one I pay ¼ of)

So WIBU? Me or ExH?

YABU – ExH is right
YANBU – You’re right to keep sending

Or even join a SEN swimming club...they are great if you can find one. Often a wait list to put her name on...she has an EHCP so that's enough to make her eligible.

Hi op I'm a swimming teacher have you spoken to the teacher a year is a long time in stage 2. Is she swimming 5 metres on her front and back? Can she float and do log rolls. 1 to 1 lessons are rare and like gold dust we dont often have the time and dont get paid enough to do them, theres a massive shortage of teachers at the moment.

@Brotherlove No SN classes nearby, I looked into it when she got her EHCP and was told there isn't any.

@Bananarama21 She's not had the 5m badge/certficiate (which I know our leisure centre offer as her friends have them plus 10m/15m etc.) She struggles with log rolls.

I spoke to the teacher a few weeks ago as we had a meet the teachers type thing for the leisure centre and she told me DDs about 60% of the way through and she expects her to be in her class into the new year, probably another 3-4 months but she wouldn't be surprised if it takes 5 or 6 months to get her to stage 3.

It sounds like the lessons aren't working but giving up swimming is not the answer. Dd stage 2 class is full kids age 4-4.5 so i wouldn't expect a child your daughters age in there. I would find a private teacher, even if you have to go elsewhere

Have they explained why she hasn't reached 5 metres? The log rolls aren't a big thing can be worked on stage 3.

@Bananarama21 Usually they're given when a child is 80-95% through the stage as they then practice the distance with them when they've mostly mastered the rest.

KeepUpTheSwimmingYesorNo that's poor practice distance should be awarded if they reach that target regardless. If my kids get 5 metres on their front and back consistely they are awarded and passed for that criteria, if they are swimming and floating but maybe struggling with rotations they practice that in stage 3 anyway I'd move them. I'm not going to keep a child for something minor when they are reaching everything else. Also no teacher can put a time limit on when a child is ready or not. I pass a child when they are ready not a the end of a block when they are ready to move up.

@Bananarama21 I think it's just based on how DD progresses I don't think for one second that the teachers saying she won't move DD up when she's ready.

Agree about private lessons or lessons elsewhere. My dd is 7 and was in same situation. Weve moved to a different pool as previous one was quite busy and didnt ever seem to address technique or what they could do to improve, just kept sending them across with floats or without. Now in a smaller group with three instructors so hoping she gets more input.

I voted YANBU because she needs to learn to swimone way or another, hiwever long it takes.

But, i thought that my kids werent progressing fast enough in their group lessons at the local leisure centres. I moved them to the local swimming club and they came on in leaps and bounds. Does your local swimming club have learn to swim lessons? Might be wprth ckntacting them to ask.

This happened to my dd. She was in the early stage for ages while other kids moved in and up. I think a lot of it was because she was small so appeared to be younger.

she stuck with it. Then she got moved up, after that she accelerated past all the others quickly and was in the competitive squad within a couple of months.

by the time she got to school swimming lessons (yr 5?) she was far and away the best swimmer- they roped of a lane and set her distance
goals while they taught everyone else.

I can swim fine but I never excelled at proper lessons. Just swimming with family or friends was more beneficial I found

can you or exh not just take her swimming then send her for lessons again later if she wants.

@Lullabies2Paralyze I take her once a week but don't feel able to teach her to swim, I never had lessons and really wish I had because although I can swim I'm not confident.

ExH won't take DD swimming on his own, wants either me or Ex-MIL (his mum) to go with him, which doesn't always work.

It's not normal to be in stage 2 for a year. I've give you advice but to you what you do with it.

@Bananarama21 I don't really know what else to do though, there is no SN class or 1-1/private classes, this is the council run pool. DD has missed out on school swimming so I don't have much other choice if i want her to learn and be confident in water.

I'm not having ago at you, it's just the situation. I'm not saying I like it, and I do think ExH has a point but as someone upthread said I'd rather have an adult that can swim and doesn't than someone who can't and does.

My child was like this. I took her out, left it for a while, and then she starting asking herself as she wanted to be able to swim at secondary school. She had about 6 private lessons and this was enough for her to be good enough. We weren't bothered about moving up levels / winning badges. The goal was just to be able to swim.

@TheSomersetGimp Unfortunately no private/1-1 lessons, I asked our leisure centre and there just wasn't the uptake to make them worth the leisure centres time or cost effective for people. They sometimes do crash courses for a stage in the summer holidays, but there's no guarentee the days would work with my working days and as they're not childcare I'd possibly have to pay ExH/a family member to be there for DD - they're half a day (2.5-3 hours swimming) every other day over the course of 2 weeks so 20 hours swimming roughly but they're still done in groups so I'm not sure DD would benefit. I will have a look closer to the time.

I am looking at other pools but they're all further away or run by the same council (I'm in a town in the midlands which shares a council with the neighbouring town).

I think as you don’t feel confident teaching her it makes sense to keep her in.
If her father doesn’t agree he needs to step up and commit to going weekly for a significant period of time. As he won’t, you get to decide.

they're half a day (2.5-3 hours swimming) every other day over the course of 2 weeks so 20 hours swimming roughly but they're still done in groups so I'm not sure DD would benefit

Are you sure they are that long at this level? As you know, the majority of children on stage 2/3 are 5/6 years old and I doubt they would have the stamina to do a 2.5-3hr lesson. My DC have done multiple crash courses both council and privately run due to difficulty getting onto courses post covid and none were more than 30mins/day over 4-5 consecutive days