Husband selling a rental

[pyjamafashionista]

My husband has 2 grown up daughters (25 and 30) both have partners and are reasonably financially comfortable/own nice homes etc.
We have been married for 12 years and have no children together.
He has 6 rental properties which he was going to leave as inheritance to his daughters in the future. As he was young when he had them, if he lived to be 80, this would make the eldest 60 though, so I suggested maybe he sell one now and give them some inheritance early which he has decided to do.
He stands to make around 40k, so said he may give each daughter 10k and us 20k.
Due to recent unforseen circumstances, and a renovation project that ran way over, we are now in debt to the tune of 30k. I suggested this morning, perhaps he gift 5k to each daughter instead and use the rest to clear our debts (as they will still have 5 other properties in the future)
This has caused an upset between us. He says I don't understand because I don't have children. My train of thought is that they are both comfortable financially, will be over the moon at a surprise 5k given the current financial crisis, and we can clear our debts. He thinks we should give them 10k each.
I guess my train of thought is that we should clear our own debts first prior to gifting - but obviously as they are step children, I probably come across as a wicked selfish step mother!
What would you do?
Clear your own debts first and gifts whats left or stick to 10k each regardless?

Personally, I think it is daft to be giving away thousands when you are in debt; financially it just doesn't make sense. If he really wants to gift money to his kids, could he not sell 2 of his 6 rental properties?!

I think it’s his decision.
You can pay 20k off the debt.

Surely with so many properties, you didn’t let a project get so over budget with most having a plan on how you would pay for it. So follow through with that plan.

If he's only set to make £40k he must have mortgages on these properties? If so, he should look at the whole picture with the way rates are going - are they still viable?

What he gifts his kids is really secondary. But I don't think it's for you to interfere with that.

Though, if his reason for selling is to gift the kis, that's what he should do. If you need money to clear debts, he needs to look at the rest of his finances as a whole.

I always think it's tricky discussing money when step children or blended families are involved. It's soooo much easier if the children are your own together. It makes things a minefield and Step Mums generally get a bad rep 😬
I don't want to over step the mark. It's not my money, but ultimately we are husband and wife and do need to discuss these things.

But I’m assuming it’s a joint debt? He’s already contributing £20k, you should find the other £10k and not expect his kids to

No one’s wrong or right. I’d guess he had it in his head he was giving it to his daughters, and is perhaps upset he’s not going to be doing that now?

If he wants to give 10K to each daughter that's his decision you need to respect it.

id it £30k joint debt or in just one of your names?

He should definitely clear debt otherwise it will fall on his daughters when he dies 🤷🏻‍♀️

Make sure that this profit is after capital gains tax . We had to rent out our house when we moved for work . Sold it a few years later to relocate and had a tax bill of over £10,000

Surely as his wife, if the debts are joint, it will be up to the OP to clear them not his daughters.

It’s his decision. You can put your pov across, but ultimately it’s his choice and you have to graciously go along with it.

I'd give them the money, there is 5 more rentals to sell.

@ApolloandDaphne you're right 😕 but maybe depending on wills and whatnot it could fall on all of them. Or if they died together 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyways I wouldn't want to BE in debt in the first place. I would want everything cleared ASAP in case something happened

£30k debt is £15k each
hes covering £20k of that with the sale?

if he wasn’t selling a property you would be £30k in debt anyway

Separate the issues.

Have a conversation with him about your financial health and stability as a couple, and work out how to clear debt.

Presumably the properties are bringing in the income that he lives off? How will that be affected with fewer properties? What is this debt?

In thinking about selling and giving away money, tbh if his DD’s are getting by, a random gift of £5k in the context of lost rental income, capital gains etc, is neither here nor there.

Are any of the properties owned outright? He needs to thoroughly look at the issues. Capital Gains Tax if he sells. If he waited and gave them each a paid off property he could possibly avoid CGT and SDLT.

It all sounds badly managed, badly planned and random.

Except there would be 5 other properties to sell, so a debt of 10k isn’t going to be a huge issue.

Plus, both op and he will be paying the debt off over time. So unless they both die shortly it will be much less.

We are married, we treat everything as joint. Plus, if we are splitting hairs, I have contributed to half of the property we own in cash. I'm not a sponger.

Mayn’t he has already told his daughters they are getting £10k

He has already promised them 10k each and doesn’t want to lose face

How were you planning to fund the renovation project as aren’t you told to have an extra fund as they always run over budget?

Agree, he must have told his DDs already and doesn’t want to lose face.

Wouldn't be happy with him saying you don’t understand because you don’t have children. That’s ridiculous when it was you suggesting they get some ‘inheritance’ early and also if you’re in debt, you don’t have money to give away.

Yes, but put he is paying 2/3 out of the debt from assets that he bought for his daughters.

You went over by 30k. You must have had a plan to repay that/ he is paying 20k of it. So that improves the plan. You only have 10k to pay back so you can continue with the original plan you had to pay back the 30k.

If everything is joint the debt is jointly yours too. I wouldn’t sell something intended to leave my kids, to pay off a joint debt. I would expect my partner to be paying his share of the debt too. Not for it to come out something intended for my kids.

Its, potentially, coming across as you suggested he sold it, to improve you own financial position. And now wanting to further improve it at (as he sees it) his childrens expense.

Ah, the classic Mumsnet case of:

• A woman has money - "It's MINE"
• A man has money - "It's OURS"

It doesn’t sound like it’s your money.
The rentals long predate you, and nothing you have said (or circumstantial inference) suggests you’ve limited your earnings to benefit his.
I’m a parent and stepparent - my husband gets no say in what I gift my kids, and equally I have no say in his financial affairs.
Second marriages just aren’t like firsts.

You shouldn’t have got into so much debt (assuming that was both of you) and you shouldn’t try to make claims on his money. Unless you want to add more detail that shows that you should have fully merged finances.

I'd use Martin Lewis principles (unless of course he's already told daughters they are getting £10k). Pay off the debts as probably paying a lot of interest on the loans, gift the girls what is left, then save each month the money thatcwould have gone out to the payments until the other £5k built up then give them another gift😄