If your toddler refused to wear trousers in the park

[PerfectPrepPrincess]

You'd say no park then and take them home.

I'm interested to hear if your toddler does this due to ASD or other diagnosis and you allow it?!

I've never seen a toddler in a public place like this so why does Bing promote it like it's acceptable?!

It is part of a functioning society, as a bigger picture. However some children may take longer to get to the point of accepting/realising/coping with this, and they should not be shut away from society in the meantime.

I’m with posters who say pick your battles - safety and weather need to be taken into consideration, but after that, does it really matter? Is there really anyone who would be offended if a toddler took trousers off at the park? What about shoes? A coat?

my eldest used to take shoes and socks off if we stopped moving for more than about 10 seconds. It was an instant reflex (no idea why). That raised eyebrows in the supermarket queue, and the bank, and at bus stops, but I couldn’t stop her (severe ASD). She did tidy them away nicely 😂 (socks into shoes and neatly together), and I would scoop them up ready to shuffle along/be ready to put them back on when we were moving again. She doesn’t do it now (she’s 18), but did it from toddler age right up to 8 or 9.

My middle child would instantly remove any piece of clothing that got even slightly wet. That was fun in playgrounds in the summer if anyone had a spray bottle or water pistol! She also has ASD, and even a single drip of water would mean a change of clothes. We would change as discreetly as possible in a corner if we could, but given I was also supervising dd1 and her shoe situation, plus also generally supporting 2 dc with ASD, that wasn’t always possible! She stopped doing the instant change thing once she was at school and had to mask her distress more, plus a natural awareness that older children don’t change in public. Not a big deal (she still can’t cope very well with being wet, though, but hides it better to those who don’t know her well).

in between coping with all that I also had dc3 (also ASD, as it happens) who didn’t really have any clothes/sensory issues when he was younger, but should he have missed out on the playground/anywhere else because his sisters did have those issues?

it’s really not something to get worked up about.

(hate Bing though, and the ridiculous explanations given for perfectly ordinary behaviours)

They're actually less likely to be successful if you inhibit natural stages of development, of which asserting clothing preference, removing clothes to see how it feels and learning about the world is a part of. So actually, by being to restrictive you could be doing the exact opposite of what you hope - like spoon feeding children until old enough not to make mess, preventing mouthing, or always choosing your child's outfits for them, forcing them to wear weather appropriate clothes etc (with regard to weather appropriate clothes, I always take trousers/ jumper coat with us but don't enforce wearing it).

pants on is not naked

I would let my toddler be in a park without trousers, unless it was too cold or wet. I can't remember if any of them have ever done this! Actually, I've probably taken trousers off on occasion, e.g. when it's warm (ish), there's water, sand, mud (etc) and they want to paddle in it and their trousers aren't staying rolled up.

What age of toddler are we talking here anyway? Before about 2.5 they aren't even going to understand keep your trousers on or we go home.

Maybe if it was a specific trend that I was trying to discourage, I would make an issue of it, like I've had a general rule when it's cold that playing outside = coat, but if they just did it randomly one day then no, I wouldn't punish them. Why does it matter if they wear trousers?

My 3 year old DD took her top off on an autumn walk in the woods the other day. She was hot and uncomfortable.
What were my options? Let her continue enjoying nature with her friends and family, get cross and force it back on her (with extreme difficulty), or take her home kicking and screaming.
Of course I let her play without it for a while. She let me know when she wanted it back on (which was about 5 minutes later) and we all had a great day. She won't be doing it forever, she's 3! It's just one of those phases. Not every kid will do it, but there's nothing wrong with the ones who do. Why would neurodivergence have anything to do with it?

I do not see what trouser wearing has to do with a functioning society.

1. As pointed out, most children prefer to wear trousers by the time they reach puberty, so no worries. You can just wait this one out.
2. What are trousers even for? Protecting legs from cold and hazards. Protecting modesty (only relevant after puberty). Maintaining a uniform appearance (not relevant during play).

In the summer/warm weather I would absolutely allow a toddler to go trouser-free in the park.

It doesn't matter.

And it's not going to influence their 'success' as an adult. In fact, I'd argue that having it drummed into them that their personal comfort doesn't matter and is less important than everyone following your quite Draconian idea of 'social rules' will do far more harm!

@PerfectPrepPrincess

That's exactly what I did. Dd is autistic and I have left places so many times because of behaviour. Not everyone will agree with me but I refused to let her behave badly/antisocially etc because she is autistic.

She was diagnosed at 2 so we knew at the toddler stage, her consultant suggested we set clear boundaries and stuck to them, she had specialist preschool (in USA) and we worked a lot on social rules, etc. I cannot tell if my approach worked because everyone is different, perhaps she was always destined to fit in better than some but she's at university now.

I'm teaching mine how to succeed in this world, its a world where I disagree with lots I aspects but I want them to succeed.
Learning to keep clothes on is part of that world. That's their "finishing" school
You sound a bit uptight if you believe whether a child goes on to succeed in life boils down to whether they wore trousers every time they visited the park as a 2 or 3 year old.

OP, don't ever go to the Zoo, they're ALL frolicking around wearing nothing at all.

Bing is not exactly a true to life tv show. It is a cartoon world where a load of anthropomorphised animal/ toddlers are looked after by what appear to be talking cuddly toys (?). Their parents are nowhere to be seen - everything in the houses, shops etc is the wrong scale for either the children or the cuddly toy adults (who always have to climb up on chairs and ladders to reach stuff). Why pick this one detail about Pando taking his trousers off all the time and try put it into a real world context? The whole show is bizarre (and a bit sinister if you ask me). The better question is what the fuck is Flop exactly? And what has he done with Bing’s parents?

Pando is an actual fucking psychopath. There’s one episode where they’re all in the garden finding things that are different colours. Bing pricks himself on a thorn, starts to bleed, and Pando looks at the blood and goes “I found something red!”

Don’t get me started on the one where they hold a funeral for the butterfly that Bing crushed o.0

Bing always seems to evoke loads of hate on here.

While Hey Duggee always passes without comment despite a crocodile, zebra etc. hanging out with a giant dog!

I don't know what bing is but my children both have autism and when they were toddlers were forever stripping off.

If they kept their nappy on and their fingers out of their arsehole I called it a win. 🤣

In the park, in warm weather, and with the nappy on it honestly didn't bother me when they were 18months to 2 ish. After that we had to insist on clothes or remove them from the park. You can't have a six year old running round the park in just their nappy. It's unfair to them. But a toddler? Imo it's not a battle worth having when there are so many others to fight if your child has autism.

Depends how much I was suffering from cabin fever tbh.

If i really wanted to go out, I would pack them in a bag, and wait for them to whinge about being cold. Then offer them the trousers.

A nappy covers the important parts

I've never seen Bing, but that's great 😂.

You can imagine the bored as fuck kids TV writer trying to subtly create the idea Pando is a psychopath to give themselves a laugh!

I wouldn't have let DS run around in the park with no trousers on, but he doesn't have SEN so I appreciate it's different. I was quite strict with him but that's partly to do with the fact that I was a teen mum and was aware that I'd be judged harder for my failings than an older mum would.

My child has high functioning ASD and I would take him home immediately if he wouldn’t wear clothes. I’ve always gone for pretty firm boundaries on ‘life rules’ though (and appreciate that parenting other autistic children who struggle more is different - I wouldn’t judge others for not doing this; it’s just my personal opinion in our situation)! I love his quirkiness and wouldn’t change that, but my aim is for him to become an adult who can navigate the world and understands the rules as much as possible. I don’t think I’d be doing him any favours in making allowances for stuff like that as he is so black and white with stuff, because then when do you change the rule? It’s moderately acceptable in a toddler but what about it he strips off at preschool? Or school? Or in Sainsburys?

Funnily enough we had this yesterday where DS (age 4 at school) was running and jumping so that his trousers fell down and thinking it was hysterical. I tightened the buttons at the side and told him to stop, pointed out that all the other boys and girls had their clothes on and that it was breaking a rule. Thankfully it worked as I’m not too sure what I’d have done if not!!

Toddlers are a works in progress . I was happy to exempt them from many of the rules of a civilised society at 2, as long as them got there eventually. Quite a few of the rules make no sense anyway, esp wrt clothing.

Feels a little bit groomy. Also, Pando? What does that word sound like?

I'm not sure I trust many media/government ideas about children these days. Many seem quite dark and/or sexual. I don't think I'll take their advice to let my child run round in public with no trousers on - or let them normalise it in my mind

Depends on the weather. It's pretty sunny in Bing land 🤷🏻‍♀️

Feels a little bit groomy. Also, Pando? What does that word sound like?

Crikey.

That wasn't an answer to your question btw

That’s actually disgusting that you’d think that.

I think it's creepier that others want to normalise children running around with few clothes on.

But we are all free to decide these things for ourselves. I was just putting forward my view of it.