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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To despair that I can’t send anything to school without it being lost?

26 replies

DespairMissingStuff · 04/11/2022 09:21

DC aged 8, Year 4, wears glasses. All the time apart from for sport or sleep or washing.

They don’t change for PE in their classroom. There’s two classes per year, Years 1 and 2 are the closest classrooms to the hall/playgrounds so they change in their rooms (no idea where Y1/2 are while doing this, but the school does have a music room and a spare classroom due to only 1 class in Year 5). DC insists that they took the glasses off, put them in the case and put them on top of their clothes. They’ve come back and gone. This in the week before half term. The glasses where less than a week old.

The Year 1 teachers have searched for the glasses, with no luck – girls change in one classroom and the boys in the other so the chances are they’d be in the classroom DC changed in but both were searched in case. Both Year 4 teachers have checked their classrooms including all the trays with no luck. The HT who’d done some group support work with Year 4 (including my DC) earlier that day has checked her office just in case, the front office staff have has an alert for them. Texts have been sent home, a post on the schools facebook page etc. The texts said no questions asked and no-one would be in trouble, I offered a reward on the schools facebook page which the school then repeated in the second text sent out.

The case has DCs name on the front, it’s an engraved case with their full first and second name on, they have an uncommon spelling of their first name and is the only child in the entire school with that spelling so the teachers/staff would know it’s DC but they haven’t turned up (think like Lewys instead of Lewis/Louis, Isobella instead of Isabella, Bayleigh instead of Bailey/Bailie)

I expect logoed school uniform to go missing, even though school have a well-stocked 2nd hand uniform cupboard which anyone can access and I name everything, I expect the odd pair of socks or trousers or similar to go missing as their all pretty similar and that’s what happens with children especially young ones.

But AIBU to expect to be able to send medical aids like glasses into school without issue? School say medical aids/glasses only need a name on the case if their only taken off for sport. This happened a few years ago with a friends DCs hearing aids, they’d just got them and they fell out, DC put them in their case in their tray to get adjusted and they just disappeared have never been found.

I am at the point where I don't want to send glasses into school on PE days now, which is annoying as DC hates not wearing them.

This is not a critisism of the staff at the school either, every member of staff whose been made aware of the missing glasses has gone out of their way to help search for them.

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 04/11/2022 09:24

I'm sorry, that's so shit. If I were you I'd be telling the school that from now on, DC will hand their glasses to the teacher before going to get changed, and ask for them back after.

WitchDancer · 04/11/2022 09:27

It makes me wonder if there's a child there that wants medical aids for whatever reason, and has managed to sneak them past their adult at home. Can they be given to the teacher for safekeeping instead of being left out where sticky fingers might take them?

endofthelinefinally · 04/11/2022 09:27

I think expensive essentials like glasses should be kept in a safe place in the office if necessary. The amount of stuff that goes missing in schools is outrageous IME.

DespairMissingStuff · 04/11/2022 09:32

Will ask about DC leaving them with the teacher while they do PE. Like i said I expect some things to go missing but I think glasses/hearing aids/walking aids is a bit ridiculous.

OP posts:
Sprogonthetyne · 04/11/2022 09:33

That's so annoying for you, I'd agree with asking for glasses to be looked after by the teacher during pe in future. Not at the same level of annoying, as luckily replaceable, but my autistic DS is down 8 chew necklaceses and a pair of ear defenders so far this year.

Oysterbabe · 04/11/2022 09:34

Yanbu.
I understand that it's so, so hard for teachers to keep track of all the possessions of hundreds of children but it is infuriating. DD lost her new school fleece, which was not cheap, within days. Name on both labels. It's vanished.

Rockbird · 04/11/2022 09:37

I currently have 6 pairs of glasses in my desk which are unclaimed despite many emails with photos being sent to parents! Glasses seem to have a mind of their own in schools.

Absolutely agree he should be able to hand them to his teacher to lock away or personally look after during PE lessons. Hope they turn up, I can imagine how frustrating it is.

mikado1 · 04/11/2022 09:39

Gosh I work in a (v disadvantaged) school in Ireland and this is not really a big issue, bar carelessness.. Children expected to look after their own, labelled belongings and of course there's a lost and found box. But the idea of teachers having to keep track, obviously we'll do best to help if lost, or things 'disappearing'. Same in my own dc's 7, 700+, primary. Can count one or two items they've lost in 8 years total. Strange.

mikado1 · 04/11/2022 09:41

Oops, didn't finish sentence! ...or the idea of things disappearing, isn't a regular issue at all.

KatherineofGaunt · 04/11/2022 09:47

You do get some children who like to 'collect' things. I taught a girl in reception whose family has very little money and she would squirrel things away like hair clips, bracelets, little plastic toys. She would palm, say, a girl's clip left on a table and then go to her bag in the cloakroom. It happened several times despite us speaking to her.

She would also take Christmas cards her older sister had received and write her own name in them and give them to the children in her class. Her mum didn't buy her things like Christmas cards to give, probably as they couldn't afford them. So the girl would take them.

A child may have wanted to have their own pair of glasses for whatever reason, so slipped them into their bag.

Whatever the reason, it's very annoying for you.

Hankunamatata · 04/11/2022 09:50

I'd be annoyed. Could u get him sports glasses for his pe days?

mikado1 · 04/11/2022 09:55

Ah that's sad KatherineGaunt and I can see that happening but wouldn't it be a case of 'OK everyone, X's glasses are missing, can we all check our tables and bags please?' Ie I would be aiming to sort it immediately.. once all children have gone home, accidental or not, it makes it so much less likely it will be found. Anyway I would be very annoyed yes, OP, I can't stand things going missing and I have my two as well trained as I can about looking after their things.

mikado1 · 04/11/2022 09:57

Sorry I see you say the teachers did all that.. it's hard to fathom so unless someone came into the room while they were out or they didn't check bags during the search..

DespairMissingStuff · 04/11/2022 09:58

mikado1 · 04/11/2022 09:55

Ah that's sad KatherineGaunt and I can see that happening but wouldn't it be a case of 'OK everyone, X's glasses are missing, can we all check our tables and bags please?' Ie I would be aiming to sort it immediately.. once all children have gone home, accidental or not, it makes it so much less likely it will be found. Anyway I would be very annoyed yes, OP, I can't stand things going missing and I have my two as well trained as I can about looking after their things.

@mikado1 DC didn't let anyone know the glasses where missing sadly, it wasn't until they came out of school and I said "Where are you glasses?" they told me about PE. I sent them back to their teacher find them. I guess they've gone home with someone, but when DC has bought things home by accident I've checked their bag and sent it back or made a post on the Facebook Page to let people know.

OP posts:
mikado1 · 04/11/2022 10:03

Oh no 😔 Yes, that will have made a big difference, though you did the next best thing by sending them back. A quick sweep of class and 'we're not going anywhere till we find them' usually sorts these things in minutes. As I say, it's not usually an issue, as it seems to be with many above, ime.

Vegetablesupreme · 04/11/2022 10:24

It could be a child swiped them (for whatever reason) and that child's parent is unaware. Maybe child is afraid of getting into trouble if they bring them back (despite your message of no questions asked). Glasses don't just vanish from a classroom do they
I think the only answer is to buy another pair -annoying I know- (can you take out insurance on another pair ? ) and then make sure your ds hands them in to the teacher at pE times.

OliveWah · 04/11/2022 10:47

Very annoying yes, but he should have a second pair if he's regularly taking them on and off, as they are more likely to get broken. Specsavers do BOGOF on glasses, I got 2 pairs for my DD fairly recently.

YWBU to send your DS to school without his glasses, can you imagine how unsettling it would be to not be able to see properly because someone else stole your glasses and now your DH or DM or someone won't trust you to leave the house with them?

emmylousings · 04/11/2022 10:51

My DS had lost his £30 blazer by half term 🤯 told him the next one's coming out his savings...not that it'll make any difference!!

endofthelinefinally · 04/11/2022 10:54

The trouble is that there is so much deliberate theft in schools. It isn't always the child's fault.

ImustLearn2Cook · 04/11/2022 11:00

Omg I feel you Op. It becomes ridiculously expensive.

ImustLearn2Cook · 04/11/2022 11:02

@endofthelinefinally I (unfortunately) think you are right.

mikado1 · 04/11/2022 11:05

Yes, this is the bit I'm surprised at really. Stealing pencils maybe but not big items.

LindaEllen · 04/11/2022 11:13

Is there any remote chance that your DC doesn't like wearing the glasses/is getting bullied for wearing them?

When I first started wearing glasses in primary school I got teased and 'lost' my glasses on a couple of occasions so that I didn't have to wear them.

crackofdoom · 04/11/2022 11:24

LindaEllen yeah, me too, but as DS2 has just started wearing them I really hope we live in kinder times now. It helps that there are loads of lovely designs now, not the dreaded standard NHS glasses 😬

Did you know kids get free replacements, too? "As many times as they need- within reason". I feel so grateful that at least one aspect of the NHS is still functioning! Although obviously, losing them on a regular basis is not ideal.

As a glasses wearer myself, I find the best way not to lose them is to keep them on my face at all times, apart from sleep and showering. I even keep them on while I'm swimming in the sea! Does he HAVE to take them off for PE??

(DS1's brand new labelled PE hoodie has disappeared- with DS1 protesting hotly that it was stolen. The truth is out there somewhere...🤔).

mikado1 · 04/11/2022 11:34

Children always say someone's taken it tho..even down to a pencil they've dropped on the floor without realising! I don't think they need to take off glasses, plenty leave them on. However, I remember a child giving me hers while I was on supply in her school and later at home I put my hand in my pocket and found them 🙈