To not go to Christmas night out

[Tikeadoodle]

I’m starting a new job on 1st December. The job is mostly wfh, with occasional days in the office (a 2 hour journey away)

Today I’ve just received an invite to the Christmas ball.

I know that I should go to “show face” but I absolutely hate work nights out: I have no idea how to dress up for them, I don’t drink alcohol so feel a bit out of place, and i won’t know anyone yet. It also means that I’ll need to fork out for a hotel (for various reasons, I will be a bit skint in December)

aibu bit to go?

Just apologise that you can't make it as you have other plans that evening. Job done.

I’d probably go if I possibly could. Quite nice to get to know people when you’ve just started.

i did miss an early social event in the job I’ve just started because I really couldn’t get there but was gutted. I wouldn’t miss it just because you don’t want to, although the hotel is a concern.

I don't like Xmas do's- and if they are on a weekend I begrudge the time away from family and friends. I never make a fuss though . I just allude to family commitments - I've been fairly successful in my career so doesn't appear to be a hindrance

I love our Xmas dos but we are a close-knit workplace and enjoy social stuff together. For a new job I think it would be nice to meet people and get to know them a bit but I doubt anyone will care if you say no!

Typically these things are a meal followed by people getting drunk. I'm not a big fan these days, so I'll usually go for the meal and make my excuses after that and head home.

You are new, this year you have the perfect excuse ( thanks for including me, so thoughtful, regret, previous engagement). It’s next year you need to start planning a body swerve for.

Might be the time for remembering that elderly aunt/godmother who lives far far away, has no close relatives and is prone to twisting her ankle at in opportune moments….

I'm old and grumpy, but I really hate the expectation and the pressure that you'll give up some of your free time to attend work events out of hours. I never go to them.

Many people will say that it's a great opportunity to network, which I partially understand, but if networking is important to your organisation, they should provide sufficient opportunity for that to happen during your working week.

I would never go. I'd much rather be in my cosy bed with a cup of tea (maybe a bit of cake) doing shit on my phone.

Not unreasonable, just say you already have plans that evening but thank you for the invitation. I never go to my office-wide Christmas party - the first two I went to were rubbish and I’ve not attended since. I do attend other stuff, including my department Christmas meal and drinks.

I’m sure it’ll be fine not to go, there are always lots of people who don’t/can’t make these things.

I’m going to ours even though it’s over 200 miles away, I don’t drink either and looking forward to catchup with colleagues but plenty of people aren’t going. Won’t your work pay for the hotel though? Mine pay for us to stay over.

I'm not going to mine (worked here 6 months), I'd find it so overwhelming. Thankfully the people that know that, understand and the others think I'm busy that day.

@skilpadde 👌

Attending makes a good first impression in a new role

Having said that there is no way I would attend and I’d say I already had plans

@Spiderboy I would attend and stay if it was pleasant and politely excuse myself if it wasn't my cup of tea 🏡