AIBU to think FIL is rude on the phone, and to expect civility?

[tearinghairout]

He never says, when he phones, 'Hello, it's X here, how are you?' or even 'Hello' at all. Usually it's something like 'Is the Master there?' said in a fairly friendly way, but immediately I feel at a disadvantage because he hasn't acknowledged me, and he's waiting while I twig who he is, etc.

He & I had a little contretemps over Christmas, he was being a bully twit and things were a bit frosty after, but early yesterday I picked up the phone to hear 'Is he in?' I said that no, he'd had to go to work early. 'When's he back?' So, I said I'd get him to ring as soon as he got in, but of course he was late & I got another irritable 'Is he back yet?' when I picked up the phone.

I find this lack of basic phone etiquette really winds me up. I am SO tempted to say 'Hello! Yes, I'm fine thanks. How are you?' but he will know I'm taking the piss.

Just do it! Be rude back, it might shock him into being polite, grumpy old fecker man

Yes he might know it - but I would still do it.

He can't criticise you for being friendly and sociable

Or could you sort of make out you think it's someone else and go on forever before letting him interrupt and say who it actually is?

I find his behaviour quite rude, it would annoy me too. How difficult is it to say, "Hello Jane" or something?

Get caller ID and don't pick up the phone when he calls. I LOVE caller ID

caller ID

Thank you all. I'm glad it's not just me being too sensitive. I don't think I can get caller ID on this phone . do you need a special phone? Sounds very useful!

My mum does this gets me angry

Agree with everyone who says get caller ID. We have it now, it's great. it works for us becasue PIL never calls himself, he always gets step MIl to call, just in case I answer the phone. If I do answer she then ends up spending ages tellinge me how fab SIl is at everything she does and how great SMIL's neice and her children are etc etc. So now, I jsut see it's them calling and say to DH "it's for you"
Problem solved then

The other thing I'm tempted to do is just not say any thing to him, but just go & get DH. So he doesn't know what's happening until DH comes on the line. But it's not in my nature to be rude.

If I had caller ID I could answer with 'He's not in'!!!

Please explain how it works - am still in dark ages.

My mum does it when DH picks up the phone. It winds me and him up no end. He just asks how she is and chats nonsense for ages even though I'm right there!!!! SHe doesn't get the sarcasm though!!

I would do the don't say anything! He'll wonder whats happened..
It might be a age thing? My mum used to say in the most stern voice - 'IT'S YOUR MOTHER'

FIL isn't stupid. He just doesn't care that civility 'oils the wheels'. No doubt has zero respect for me so it doesn't matter what I think/whether I'm offended. He treats his SIL the same. Yes, he's a grumpy old man.

So come on, someone pls explain how Caller ID works - special phone required?

We have a bt phone with caller id, but you have to pay extra for it. It should say on the box when you buy your phone if it has caller id. You have to set it up though.

Does the phone need a special little panel to show the number of the caller?

its a man/old git thing
dont tkae it personally

get caller ID (just go to tesco or something and buy a new phone they arent dear)

my FIL says to me if i answer "isnt my son in?"

i have said in the past "oh hello yes im fine thanks for asking how are you" but it went right over his head

yes they have display thing to show no of caller

who is your phone company, i think you have to request it with them (npt sure tho)

We have a phone similar to this one
here. It can be programmed with numbers, so when MIL, Step MIL, my aunt etc call, it comes up as "Old witch" becasue that's what I have programmed in. I was joking about the witch bit, DH would go spare, but it's a good thoguht.
Also whenever anyone calls it gives their number unless of course they have withheld it

salty what a BRILLIANT idea

If he doesn't announce himself just ask very politely, "I'm sorry - who's calling?". Someone does this to me all the time and so I pulled that on them and explained, once they had incredulously identified themselves, that without having the benefit of being able to see them I would need them to tell me who they are.

I would simply answer each time with "Hello, who is this please?" Then, when he says it's him, say "Oh hello, how nice to hear from you. How are you?"

Eventually he will get the message. By acknowledging that you know who it is without his saying or your asking is just playing along with his game.

It really freaks some people out when you pickthe phone up and say hello X, and they go how did you know it was me?

ROFL at pennies