To ask how the hell to drive in the dark and rain?

[hanketypankety]

So yesterday I got caught driving home in a huge rainstorm. It was dark and I was driving along a main road but in an area surrounded by fields and no street lights. I'm embarrassed to say that I panicked and was crying in the car because I genuinely could not see a thing. To make it worse, lots of cars were either riding up my arse or overtaking me very fast. I eventually came up to an estate and pulled over to quietly have a stern word with myself to pull it together. But I guess I was just a bit overwhelmed that the majority of the traffic continued to be able to drive at the speed limit of 60 quite happily. I honestly could not see the road markings and that road often floods so no idea if and when I would hit a huge puddle and either skid off or flood my car. Any tips? Please be kind as I was genuinely frightened

Posting for solidarity. I'd have felt the literal same as you and sounds like you did a bloody good job! Most likely I'd have sat in the car park until the rain stopped, if I'm being very honest. That's a lot of hazards including unsafe whole drivers. The way I deal with that scenario is to literally avoid at all costs 😄

...including for driving but I can't imagine that (even in better cars) the people tearing up the outside lane at 80mph have infinitely better vision....and even if they do their car will still have a greater stopping distance in wet weather. Driving faster and more confidently in wet weather doesn't automatically make them better or safer drivers. From reading this thread though , I am going to get anti glare when I next get new glasses. I've always just thought it was an extra (more expensive) add-on that opticians were encouraged to sell. They've literally never used night driving as a selling point otherwise I might have tried it!!

Yeah, I wasn’t clear. I meant the issues that I happen to read about on here (being petrified of driving on motorways/at night/on unknown roads/in snow/aboard etc.) only seem to affect women (both here and in real life).

I know plenty of women scared of some or all the above. I don’t know any men who are. Could be that they just don’t vocalise it, but I doubt they’d be able to hide that in practice.

So why so many women? We’re not really any different, we don’t have substandard eyes or meekness built in as standard, so why scared of driving? Do women just lack confidence?

I’m obviously not scared and do motorsport as a hobby, so I’m admittedly not very understanding. But I just don’t understand the proclivity to driving-based fear among women.

They’re as low as they go.

Ah sorry @Herejustforthisone, got you.

Yeah I think women are just more hesitant in general. I do think women tend to be much more aware of danger.

Embarrassed yourself here, mate.

This poster clearly puts the full beams on when there’s no one travelling in the opposite direction and says when she has to dip them, due to oncoming traffic, she slows down.

Don’t be an aggressive twat. HTH.

Because men dont like to admit /to themselves/ that they are frightened.

Women find it more difficult to drive in the dark due to their good peripheral vision. Men find it easier due to their better focused vision.

Night driving with rain in an unfamiliar place can be tricky. You need to give no fucks and let people behind you wait. There is no minimum speed limit on country roads and drivers will have to wait. Be brave and drive at the speed you feel safe at.

Oh, and get an eye test. Just in case.

In 1980, in Sweden, on a foggy night in January, a ship crashed into the supporting arch of the Almö bridge.

A lorry driver on the mainland side of the bridge was creeping along carefully, not driving faster than he would be able to stop within the area he could see ahead of him. That saved his life, and the lives of the drivers behind him, because he was able to stop just a few meters before the missing part of the bridge. He climbed out on trembling knees, and stopped all the traffic behind him that was heading towards the island.

I was living in Sweden then, and I remember the horror of listening to interviews with the people who had been stuck on the mainland side of the bridge, looking out towards the island and watching in horror and dispair for 40 minutes as the headlights from car after car drove out into the fog and plummeted into the icy waters far below.

Ordinary people didn't have mobile phones back then, they had to contact the emergency services, and it took a while before someone from the emergency services manage to contact someone who lived on the island who was able to get to their side of the bridge and block it to prevent more cars driving over the edge.

I learnt to drive in 1981, and whenever tailgaiting drivers tried to force me to drive faster than I felt able to safely stop in the area I could see ahead I took the advice of my Swedish driving instructor and slowed down to a crawl. He said you can't decide the distance between your vehicles, but you can decide the speed. I'd turn off into a layby as soon as possible to let them pass, but I wouldn't allow them to stress me into driving off a broken bridge or slamming into an Elk.

I realised that a lot of people who are driving roads they drive every day, and could "drive in their sleep" don't bother to adjust their speed when driving in fog or torrential rain. Perhaps they have super special eye sight, or radar vision? Or perhaps they are just the kind of people who would drive off the edge of a broken bridge, because they drove over that bridge every day, and they had no reason to suspect it might suddenly disappear. It's why motorway pile ups happen, people don't expect to find a car stopping suddenly, right in front of them.

A friend once told me that she drove over a flooded bridge in central Sweden at 3 in the morning, with her 5 year old daughter asleep in the car, because she was tired and she just wanted to get home, so she gritted her teeth and drove through the dark swirling water, in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere. Half way over the bridge she couldn't see any sides of the bridge, just dark, rushing water in front, behind and on both sides, but she was too frightened to stop or turn round so she drove on in as straight a line as she could manage. She had no way of knowing that the bridge didn't curve off to one side, or hadn't been washed away, she didn't even consider it, she just wanted to get home. When I reminded her that a river risen high enough to wash over the top of a bridge will be strong enough to be carrying huge trees and boulders that can destroy the bridge, washing it away, she told me I was being overly dramatic, and nothing had happened so it was all fine.

People prioritise different things. As the driver you are the one who makes the decisions. It's a big responsibility, you have to decide is important to you, and leave the other drivers to make their own decisions.

@stealthsquirrelnutkin Really interesting post. And it reminds me of a documentary I saw years ago with U.K. motorway police.

They all said when they drive on motorways at 60 in the slow lane a large distance from the car in front. The interviewer said isn’t that a bit extreme. They said - if you’d seen what we’ve seen you’d understand, and the vast majority of motorway accidents are caused by people driving too fast too close to the car in front with insufficient room to brake.

I don’t always drive in the slow lane but I always leave a big gap from the car in front even if that infuriates other drivers.

OP headlight types make a huge difference, since getting a new car with bi led headlights makes a huge difference to the older yellow types.

I drove to the Lake District yesterday and pulled into services for over half an hour as the road conditions were so bad - lorries pulling in front of me so I couldn’t see. I was doing 60 so not dangerously slow in horticulture torrential rain. I’ve been diving 30 + years
do what feels right. Don’t doubt yourself. Pull over if you need.
have to say my new car’s headlights are so much better. My last car I could see about 2m then black. Maybe look at upgrading car?

Horrific not horticulture 😂

Agreed.If you’re being blinded by SUV bright oncoming lights or the rain is lashing it down be guided by the left hand cats eyes and drive at a slower pace. Ignore the tailgaters.

I have a very mild astigmatism and it makes the lights from cars blur upwards - it can make driving in the dark harder. Maybe see if you can have an eye test and also get some anti glare glasses even if you don’t need an actual prescription?

I have now given up driving in the dark for the same reason, I have no night vision at all, even around the house if the lights are not on. Fine by day and my eyes are ok with specs for driving, maybe your night vision is just.deteriorating, take your time and prioritise your safety rather than other driver's impatience.

I drove to work recently (about 7am so still dark) and the heavens opened. The rain was so heavy it was bouncing up from the road, I couldn’t see a thing, it was horrendous. I was on a ring road around a town centre (think three lanes) and couldn’t stop, I just carried on to the next safe space to stop (a petrol station) and sat there for 17 minutes until it eased somewhat. It was terrifying.

I've been driving for years but it's increasingly difficult because car headlights are brighter and more dazzling than they used to be. And before somebody asks, I've been tested and I don't have cataracts.

I sympathise with you, it can be a terrifying experience, I have come home shaking before after being convinced I was going to die! I have no idea how these other drivers do it...you are not alone!

If I’m driving in my husbands car he has xenon headlights so I feel I can see really well but when I’m in my little fiat 500 I realise the lights aren’t very bright and I drive much slower and more carefully as I can’t see as well -(my car is serviced regularly but the brightness of the lights for some reason can’t be changed on my car as I have asked the garage!)

Firstly, you are right to drive at the speed which was safe for you re: inclement weather. Secondly I would check anything that affects your visibility such as really dirty windscreen (lots of flies etc) and get decent wipers like Bosch - costs more but life is more precious. Seems like your lights need an upgrade.
Stating the obvious but in bad weather generally need to keep the windows demisted. Is your eyesight fine and is the night vision just as good - not everyone has the same.
Kinda related but I would also ensure my tires, brakes and general car condition to be tip top - gives you confidence

Some prick going on the "follow the tail lights of the car in front of you" nearly rammed me up the backside the other night in the dark/heavy rain because a herd of deer ran out in front of me and I had to brake sharply. Do not do this, it is dangerous!
He'd been pissing me off for a couple of miles, too close even if the weather was decent. I was doing 30 which was safe for the conditions (limit 40) but it felt like he wanted me to go faster. No chance.

Can I suggest you have an eye test? I had similar years ago and found new specs completely changed my night driving. Also worth investing in night time over specs to stop car lights blinding you.

I really sympathise with you OP it's really difficult to drive and see in that weather, I think it's worse than fog really.
As others have said, it's best to ignore the traffic behind you and concentrate as much as you can on the road in front of you.
I find it helps to focus on the side of the road so that you're not distracted by oncoming headlights, and if you have them, use the front driving lights to enhance your forward visibility. This also helps you to see large puddles at the side of the road and cyclists/pedestrians.😎

Totally with you. Some people drive like they always do regardless of weather conditions. My sight is absolutely fine but I struggle to see in rain and dark too